Difficult situation with strays

chellen2

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I do not run a rescue. However, I do try to help on my own. LOTS of people, as I'm sure you know, are constantly posting stories on different forums and apps about cats that they've found or seen or have been feeding. Most of these people ask for "help" but, in reality, want someone else to do everything to assist the cats in need.
I saw a post from someone who lived about 25 minutes from me. There were 2 cats, outside in the cold, that she stated, had just started coming into her yard a few days before she posted about them. She had been feeding them. One was meowing under her windowsill. I have owned cats for quite some time but I am no expert when it comes to rescue. Normally, feral cats don't meow or try to communicate with people. I was hoping that I would go there, pick the cats up, put them in carriers, and take them to a no kill shelter. The cats were, apparently, bonded but they were primarily living in the neighbor's yard, it seemed. One cat was VERY timid. The other got very close to the woman that I'd gone to help but did not want to be touched. The cat would not let me get close.
Given my limited experience, I could not make a definitive determination about whether they were feral. I left a feral shelter and food with the woman. However, I asked her if I brought traps back, would she allow me to bring the traps into her garage or put the cats in a spare room, and, if possible, put them in a dog crate, or somehow, see if she could interact with them, to try to assess whether they were friendly and could be brought to the shelter I didn't want to bring them to my house, find out that they were feral, then bring them back there and release them, as I was afraid that they wouldn't go back there to eat. I was also afraid that I wouldn't be able to re-trap them in the Spring. I didn't want to TNR them in the freezing cold and have their bellies shaved. Based on their coloring they both appeared to be female. My other concern, given that they were females, was the remote possibility of kittens in the neighbor's yard. I would have needed to see the cats up close to check to see if it looked like either was feeding kittens.
The woman refused to do cooperate. She simply wanted me to trap and take the cats away. I feel EXTREMELY bad about the situation and about the cats being outside in the freezing cold. I did try to help, to the extent that I know how. I wish the woman would have been more cooperative, even she would have allowed me to interact with them inside her van. I have since contacted her and she told me that the cats had not been back for food. At this point, I honestly, don't know if she is being truthful with me. Maybe she called animal control. Maybe she kept the food for her own cats. I really don't know. I don't live next door to this woman. I went out of my way to try to help and couldn't even get any cooperation. Yet, i'm the one who feels horrible.
Given that I am working alone, and that I am not very experienced, in the future, what can I do, if I encounter a situation like this, especially in conditions where the weather prohibits certain things?
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi. It is nice that you want to help out when you can - kudos to you! But, tbh, if the situation you described comes up again, it is probably best that you don't try to help. You can explain to the person asking for help what you told us, and even ask them if they would be willing to assist you, but the minute you sense any degree of reluctance and/or they don't want to cooperate, you need to tell them you cannot help, and walk away - without doing anything else.

Getting into situations where you cannot do what you feel is needed to properly assess the matter and the cats, and cannot elicit guaranteed assistance from someone else, is when you need to back away before you get any further involved.

You can do what you can and help when you can, but you must understand that is not going to be the case each and every time. Use your better judgement, as well as this experience to learn to know where to 'draw the line'.

I am sure there are others who have more experience dealing with strays and ferals will see your post and offer their opinions as well.
 
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