Did I Make The Wrong Choice

Lisa baechle

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I chose to put my kitten to sleep last Monday and I am beside myself. He was a stray who already had a hard beginning and he was given to me to help heal my broken heart for a cat I lost to Kidney failure. Little AJ almost died in January from eating string, but I got him the surgery and he pulled through and started to grow into a beautiful loving and wonderful cat. Something happened last week and I think it was when he and another larger female cat of mine were playing. Ezmirelda loved AJ she groomed him everyday and he loved it. I can almost remember exactly when it happened. Then his stomach started to blow up, he would go poop and he stopped eating. I tried to get to his vet the next day but she was off of work so we suffered all weekend. We went to the emergency room twice that Sunday once at midnight and again at 3 am and he was sent home "stable". I do not like these emergency rooms because when my cat Aries died last June he had died in my arms in the car but they took him and still charged me $700 to try and reseistate my dead cat. They take advantage of you, they don't know your animal and they don't seem to care. I wasn't going to let these people work on my AJ when his vet opened in a few hours. It got much worse he started to cry and he was only 8 months old so his meow was so sweet and helpless. Every bump in the road seemed to hurt him. I forced my way basically in to see his vet and they didn't know what was wrong. I could smell poop on his breathe and he didn't want to be held. They couldn't do an ultrasound and we're going to send me to one of these clinics that would charge $5,000 for surgery and who knows they just are not good. His vet would only charge $1,000, but she couldn't do it that day and she didn't want him to suffer and she didn't think he would have made it. I had been up all night and maybe I wasn't thinking clearly but he was in so much pain I couldn't bear the thought of dragging him across town and making him suffer all night long. They had no idea exactly what had happened but that he was very very sick. I made the choice to let him go and now I know had I asked him to suffer one more night for me he would have. I will never forget holding him while it happened and never miss him so much. I gave up on him. He loved his life, he was so wonderful and such a good cat for all he had been through. I am beside myself, I can barely stand myself for what I did. Had I been rested I would have fought for him. Begged his vet to save him. But I let people tell me what to do and I regret it more than anything. I wish I could take it all back. I hope he forgives me!!! AJ I am so sorry my baby please forgive me!!!
 

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Your pain is so evident in your post, my heart breaks for what you are going through. Of course AJ holds nothing against you, he loves you too much to ever want to cause you pain. What happened is over, it is in the past and nothing can be done to change it. You did not cause AJ's death, it was something beyond your control, even beyond the control of the vet, although I question someone who would not do an ultrasound or surgery immediately. He may have had some problems from the January surgery that did something to his intestines. If at all possible you must find another vet. You did all you could at the time, and later, when we can think clearer, all these doubts and the what ifs crop up.
Try not to dwell on something that was beyond your control and that cannot be changed, it brings nothing but heartache. You gave AJ 8 months of a beautiful life, he will love you forever for that. The bond you formed with him will never leave you, time is the only thing that will help now. It will soften the pain and let you think of AJ with love and joy. He brought much into your life, let what he taught you be passed on to another little angel who so desperately needs someone like you to love. it would bring honor to his name. AJ would never want you to be so sad because of him, let his memory comfort you when the tears fall, he will follow you for eternity on his new journey's path until one day that path crosses once more.
I'll pray for you all, you will be blessed for loving that sweet boy so much and giving him the love he deserved. Take care.......RIP sweet AJ, you will never be forgotten and will be held in a loving heart for evermore. You will be dearly missed, sleep tight, little Prince!
 

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Though there are tired and thoughtless people who show up in the vet world, I think they're dwarfed by the tireless ones, who care very much. I think the medical people gave the best advice they could: that poor AJ was not going to make it, and that prolonging the suffering would be cruel. I remember a dear vet telling me, before my funny loving cat Pussywillow was put to sleep, "I'm sorry. But I just can't even imagine what she is going through. It's not good. And her chances of being saved are very slim." Her pained expression made me remember that she was a vet because she did want to heal our dear cats. I think you made the right choice - the choice to relieve AJ of suffering. As the post above says, you gave AJ a lovely life. Wishing you well.
 

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Lisa, will you read a previous post here entitled "my beautiful boy is gone"?

The author "for crying out loud" is suffering because they regret not making the heart wrenching choice to end their cat's suffering sooner.

You are agonizing, wondering if you made that choice too soon.

Many, if not most of us here have lost our dear cat companion(s). We will never know for sure if we made the tough, agonizing, fatefull decision too soon or too late.

But we do know we tried our very very best to find that "right time". We know that we loved (and still do) our furry friends and that we will never forget them. We know we had their best interest at heart and we know that ultimately we had the courage to not let them down and instead helped them escape their suffering, even when it meant that we would suffer further with their absence.

NO ONE can know the very exact moment in any life when the balance of life vs death, hope vs acceptance of the inevitable, pain exceeds desire to continue, or even our selfishness to not let them go vs responsibility to help our dear companions when they need it most, tips the scales clearly.

You should not fault yourself. You were not wrong.

When you are ready, seize the opportunity to turn the your sorrow into love for another furry friend and enrich it's life as you did AJ's.
 

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Dear Lisa :

~ I think everyone here knows how you feel because we too have had the same experience . Your kitty was lucky to have you and enjoy life being fussed over .
To me it sounds like your kitty had a bowl obstruction - perhaps from a tear somewhere in the abdomen ? This can happen very suddenly. AJ is in peace now , like all of our pets that leave this life .
Best wishes to you ...
 

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Oh Lisa God Bless Your Soul. I know EXACTLY how you are feeling as I went through something similar earlier this month. We will never know the what 'could have beens' or the 'what if I had done this differently.'

I put my Meela down and still after almost 3 weeks completely regret it. I know it was a 50 50 thing with her. I had 1500 already in medical bills and would have emptied my bank account to save her.

I panicked and acted without looking into the options more or having a long conversatio. With her doctor about any of it. It is such a painful situation that none of should ever have to go through. It's one thing with the pain of them being sick and then having to consider it. It's another after doing it. Trust me honey, I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I feel like I failed my baby, that I have up.

You and I made heart breaking decisions out of love. We have find comfort in the fact that we let them go because we didn't want them to suffer, not because we wanted to or that their illness was an inconvenience. I feel so helpless now and felt that way while she was sick.

I have to try to let to let this go because no matter what I can't bring her back no matter how bad I wish I could. I was crying every single day, telling myself I made the wrong choice, I made the wrong choice. Sometimes in Hysterics. I melted down badly a few nights ago. I have had such a meltdown since but I try to stifle my tears when I can because once I start crying I usually can't stop.

It's not just because she is gone and I miss her SO VERY MUCH, but it's all my guilt on top of it.

Its not healthy. I was not eating nor drinking much at all. I was a puddle of emotions and mostly regret. My baby just turned 10 months old and was born deaf. I was all she had in this world. She loved me and I really loved her.

It isn't fair. Not at all. YOU can talk to me any time YOU want. Maybe we can help each other. I am so very sorry you are going through this horrible pain and guilt. I know it all too well. I'm here if you need me!!!
 
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Lisa baechle

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Nobody tried to give him any pain killers or antibiotics. His vet did an x-ray, but they did not have a ultrasound machine there and she was going to have to send me to one of those clinics that I hate. I wonder why she didn't do more to help? They had done the original surgery why would they do another "exploritory" surgery this time? Why wouldn't she clear her calendar? Emergencies happen, maybe it only happens in TV, but I thought vets would work late if one of their patients was sick or work through the night, for emergency surgery. I just felt like nobody was on his side, not even me. I was tired and discouraged. I wish I could post his x ray for you all to see. In January when they had to remove part of his intestines they pushed what string was left into his large intestine instead of removing the string all together. Do you think it was the string that caused the block? This guilty feeling completely valid as the friend who sat next to me and watched me kill my cat says "why didn't you ask me for the money"? Why! Because when I asked you the day before for help and I woke you up you said to me "#%$&! And another friend says "things would have been different if she had gone with us like I asked her to and things would have been different. She would have had a clear head. So you see everyone. This is why I can not forgive myself. The solutions were all around me and no one was in AJs corner and I am supposed to be able to live with this knowing what I did. I knew it all along I just wanted everyone to admit there part in a pointless death of a kitten who wanted to live. Everything that happened was so wrong....so so wrong. I wouldn't wish this on anybody!!
 
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Lisa baechle

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Meelasmom, your agony is just like mine. I look at my friends a week later and I ask them "Is what your looking at now worth the reason you said"no I am too busy to go" or why you sat next to me knowing had you said "Lisa, I got this $ You do whatever you need to do". I would have looked at my vet and said "fix him, fix him now" and that is exactly what I did not do. I deserve the guilt I am feeling, I deserve this pain because I was not strong enough of a pet parent to fight for him. Yes, he was in pain, but he didn't want to die otherwise he would have succumb to this injury in January. He fought all weekend to see his vet only for everyone and me to throw in the towel. Why did his vet give in because he didn't have an appointment and he was cramping her day? Seriously, she put the options out there, but never once did I feel like I could make it through this without her looking at me and saying "Lisa, I would not do this if I were you". You will not be able to handle this." She is the one with the clear head? Suddenly all the options are coming to light. I am utterly disgusted with myself and have no idea how I am ever supposed to be ok. Last June I lost my 10 year old cat Aries to kidney failure, 3 months after that a brutal breakup with my boyfriend of 5 years and 3 months later my baby AJ. My friend who was with my when Aries died in my arms was the one with me when AJ died. He watched that tear me apart. How did he think this was ok for me? How much more can a person take? How much more disappointment and pain before it stops? Why did no one have my back? Why did no one speak up until now? Why didn't people realize the months of sadness I have been through and realize that the death of AJ was going to be the icing on the cake and not stop me? And let me make such a foolish decision. Why? Why?? Why??? Why!!!!
 
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Lisa baechle

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The tabby is ezmirelda... she groomed AJ everyday. She won't move or eat.
 

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Lisa baechle

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His X-rays... The emergency clinic didn't notice the jaundice or his poop breathe. I would think an X-ray as bad as this would warranty emergency surgery. Right?
 
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Lisa baechle

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I am going to need some serious grief counseling after these past 6 months or I will never be whole again. Ever. I truly appreciate everyone comments and they are all wonderful ways to look at this, but I let him down. I gave up too easily, I didn't fight and now he is in rainbow bridge way before he was meant to go! How am I supposed to live with myself when I had his life in my hands and I let it go so easily. I hate myself. I am so sad and in total misery and drowning in guilt. I don't know where to turn to feel even like a person let alone happy. I am a failure and I deserve everything that is coming my way.
 

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Lisa, my heart cries reading posts like yours.
The pain you are going through is so evident in your words. I wish with all my heart that I had the right words to say, to help ease your pain.
Yes, I believe your vet should have done more. I feel that vets should have more compassion. Some truly do, but far too many don't. They put a price on everything.
However, you did nothing wrong. You loved your precious AJ and he loved you just as much in return.
AJ would never want you to be sad or to torture yourself the way you are over his passing. Believe me, he knows how loved he was and still is. He loves you too and NOTHING will ever change that.
Please be kind and gentle on yourself.
My heart is crying for the pain you are in.
I wish I could offer you more comfort or some words of wisdom.
Just know that I am here for you and I sympathize with your loss.
I so wish I could help you more!!
With much love and hugs, Gloria
 

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You are not a failure, you are a grieving human being that is going through something that no one should ever have to go through. You are torturing yourself because you are blaming yourself for something that cannot be changed. I know, I crossed a street without looking, I had no idea my soul would be crushed by one stupid decision, my little one followed and I will pay for it the rest of my life. I'm not saying everything will get better, that we will ever feel the same again. But there is absolutely nothing to be gained by going over the worst minutes of our lives when nothing can ever bring it back. Those sweet babies would NEVER want us to be in such misery. We have to learn to live again, to somehow muddle through this, to learn a new life order for ourselves.
Their physical presence is gone, but the love we have for them is spiritual and can never be taken from us. The bond you have with AJ will be with you forever, use it to ask him for comfort, to help you through this, to let you know that you can live again.He is a part of your soul, the 'essence' of him will never leave you.
You have to feel better about yourself, honor that little boy's name by donating food and litter to your local shelter. I pay for the adoption of the cat that has been there the longest to give him a chance at a forever home. It helps to keep busy to give your mind a rest, time is the only thing that truly helps. It softens the sharp edges and helps us to take a step forward into the land of the living. We have to take just one day at a time to get through the terrible grip of grief, one small step at a time to get our hearts to heal, and to embrace life once again. Each one of us handles grief in our own way, but it helps to know there are others who have been there and can guide us and support us through the worst. I cry with you, my heart bleeds for your pain.
 

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Lisa.
I still feel that way about Meela. I feel like the vets should have said, "wait, nothing is going to save her..we are out of options". That did not happen. I feel like I failed her and took away any chances she may have had for surviving. I truly can relate. Go back and read my story.

Here it is almost 3 weeks later and I can still see her in that office wanting to go home. I put her through a day of an IV without me and all she wanted was for me to pick her up and go home. One more day would not have hurt anything. She wasn't going to die over night.

The vets did NOT know what was wrong with her and only suspected FIP when they had nothing left. She had Anemia, yes, but that was her auto-immune disease. That was what was ailing her. They never offered anything more than Prednisone and antibiotics. Because they switched them 3 times, I realize now that she never had enough time offered to her to see if they were actually working.

She obviously had an infection, but why and where? I really am mad at my vets, too. Maybe it's the blame part of guilt, but with three different doctors, no one ever told me YES, she has FIP. They said it was a possibility because she didn't have all the signs. They blamed it in the end.

I feel like they gave up on her and I feel like I gave up, even though I was only going by what i was told in that small amount of time. I had SO MANY regrets. The biggest one was not taking her home. It was my son's 16th birthday and that was a horrible thing to do to him. He was absolutely devastated.

I had a tech tell me things that weren't even true. My fault was NOT TAKING HER HOME, when that was all she wanted. Even had it been for a day or so, I would have been able to evaluate her to see which direction we were going. She was deaf and HATED the hospital. She felt alone and seeing me was her biggest bright spot. I know she felt like I was saving her each time I picked her up.

I SHOULD have scheduled a meeting with the doctor to ask all the questions necessary and go over EVERY SINGLE option before making any decisions.

I lit into the doctor a couple days later and told him to NEVER, EVER let someone just put an animal down in "THAT" moment. They need to be sure it's the ONLY option left.

I truly feel like you do. I feel like I failed her and I feel like she thinks I gave up on her. The pain is horrible. There were some days, I just wanted to die from all the heartache. I would cry so hard that I would hyperventilate. I KNOW I MADE THE WRONG CHOICE.

Would I have had to do that eventually? Maybe, but at least I would have known there was nothing else left and I would NEVER, EVER want her to suffer.

The day she was put down, I had talked to a different vet on the phone and she said that I needed to consider the possibility of FIP. So I researched this horrible disease from that phone call until I went to get her. Because they put that in my head, in that moment of time, I convinced myself that is what was wrong.

I never felt so guilty in my life. I spent the next days researching what other people had gone through and tried to find any way I could to justify what I did. I was in shock to know that there were others who had false diagnosis of FIP and it was the Anemia that was the issue. Anemia can be treated. There are cases where Anemia can be fatal, but THERE WERE MORE OPTIONS!!

I listened to them from day one and never even thought about researching what they were saying.

She went to them for what I thought was an infection. Oh it was, but it required immediate surgery to save her life. She was fine, happy and healthy. She ran no fever and had NO medical issues. After the surgery - 4 days later, she started with the fever. They said it was normal because after a hysterectomy, a small piece of her uterus (I think) had to be left and that might be what caused the fever.

Because she aspirated on the liquid meds, she had a little in her lungs. That caused a secondary infection. She was treated over the weekend and when I picked her up, I was blown away about how she was. She was so active and vocal and loving. I felt so good about her.

They had switched her antibiotic at that point to a different one..a pill. Fast forward to three days later, she started with a fever again. She had a regular blood appointment on Friday, so it worked out getting her in.

She had a fever of 105. The vet basically said the antibiotics should bring the fever down. My son asked if she should just stay overnight for fluids. She agreed. Saturday she said that she wasn't eating much but she got the fever down to 104. Sunday, she called and said that it was down to 103, but she wanted it lower. She told me I could come see her and that if I thought I could get her to eat, to bring something it. The hospital was closed, but she encouraged me to come.

When I met her, she told me that unless she eats, she was out of options. She said sometimes fevers happen and they are unknown as to why. She was blown away that I opened a can of cat food and Meela immediately began eating and drinking the milk I brought.

She said she was very encouraged and that as long as she continued to eat and drink, even a little at a time, it was key to her getting better. Sunday was good - she ate every hour for 8 hours. It was after she got her medicine that thing changed. I thought she was tired and didn't want to eat anymore. But now I wonder if she wasn't having reactions to her meds.

Monday she wouldn't eat much and just sat huddled. I knew she didn't feel well. She wasn't even purring when I held her, but I know she appreciated me loving her through her not feeling well.

Tuesday morning I called hospital and asked them if they would IV her fluids for the day. They offered the Sub-Q and now I regret that. I would have had her with me all day instead of leaving her there. I never would have done anything but take care of her and try to get her to eat more. Most of all, she never would have been put through what she was.

They called and asked if I had left food for her because they would try to get her to eat while she was there. I dropped food off at 10:15. It was only 5 minutes later and THE ONLY TIME THEY TRIED to get her to eat. They didn't do as they said. I even left a note on how to coax her to eat..something I guess I was the only one that could do.

I think in the scuffle of starting the IV and trying to get her to eat, she bumped her nose. That's why she had a little bit of blood around it. The doctor later told me that's what he suspected. But then he also said if she truly had FIP, it could have been her blood vessels getting thin.

I WILL NEVER KNOW. When the tech told me the blood could have been a blood clot, I absolutely freaked out and panicked. The doctor told me it wasn't that and the tech never should have said anything to me like that.

The girl tech who first brought me Meela said that I should just TAKE HER HOME and see what happens. WHY DIDN'T I DO THAT?

Meela was more active that day than she had been. Her only hope was for me to scoop her up and go home. There are memories of her that day that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Before I got ready to leave the office, the doctor told me that he believed it was FIP. But said that it was the autoimmune disease that was getting her, which was the ANEMIA. He never believed her blood numbers would rise again, but I found out differently from other people. There was a chance! Should might still be alive today had I not done what I did. Also, here's another kicker...The vet told me that had they done another xray or ultrasound, they might have been able to see what was going on inside of Meela as far her organs and such. I asked him why wasn't this mentioned before? He told me that it was because it was an additional cost that he didn't think I wanted. ARE YOU KIDDING? I would have paid anything to have a definite answer!

As far as you, your kitty was suffering. He was in pain, undeserved pain. It sounds like you were like me..you would have gone to the end of the earth trying to save him. At this point, both of our babies are gone and we are the ones left holding the grief and feeling like failures.

I don't believe you deserve what you say you do as far as bad kharma. I apologize every single day at Meela's grave and cry begging her to forgive me. I will never know if she might still be here...I have so many unanswered questions, but at the end of the day she is still gone and she is never coming back. I have to find a way to live with myself for what I did and feel I took from her.

Sadly, you will too. You have your son who needs you. This pain is unbearable. I know. I have other cats who need me too, as well as my family. Curling up and stopping while world goes on seems like the only choice in the grief, but it's not. As much as it hurts, you will have to come to realize you stopped his pain. It was not his or your fault. If you want blame, blame the vet. That's kind of where I am right now. She was my 3rd cat that died from going there. They are reputable and good people, but apparently they don't share the emotional value over the science aspect.

You will get through this Lisa. I promise you will. It won't be easy and you are going to feel like you are all alone. You aren't. Your son needs you the most, don't forget that. My granddaughter, Braylee, was what I needed at my lower points. She is 2 years old and the happiest little girl I have ever me. After I lost Meela, she asked why I was crying and I told her I was very sad. Every single time over the next week - as soon as she saw me, she would say, "Neeni, are you feeling better." Once she hugged me I did feel a little better.

I have accepted that my precious Meela is never coming back. I still am full of guilt and regret. I hope in time that I can get past these emotions. Right now, no... So I can completely relate to you and your situation.

I believe if you had the money, you would have had the surgery. Would he have survived it? Would there have been issues later with his health? You will never know. That's the sad truth. It sounds like he was very unstable and in a lot of pain. So OUT OF LOVE, you followed through with the only option in front of you. I jumped the gun with my baby girl and should have waited. Had it come to being the only option left, yes I would have done it out of love, also. My regret is that I acted too soon.

Did anyone ever sit down with you to talk about options? Did anyone say, "Lisa, there is nothing that can be done?" I know in the moment of pain and being scared, death is what we are trying to avoid. We never want to consider it being a result of anything.

Meela only ran a fever on and off for a week, really. The vet told me, "you have had her here 3 times now, that has to tell you something." It told me I was trying to help her. I was trying to help her jump start her recovery. The last two time were me, not them.

As bad as I feel and as guilty as I feel, the doctor said, "we can test her tissue to see if she actually had FIP." I told him that it didn't make difference now, since she gone. But then I said, "And if it wasn't FIP and I killed her for no real reason, how am supposed to live with myself and what I have done?" He didn't have an answer for that.

Lisa, I promise it's not going to be an easy road. It hasn't been for me. Each Tuesday I do a rewind in my head of what I was doing at what time and when I should have done something differently.

I can't do this to myself anymore. I am angry and will be for a while. I don't ever see me thinking what I did was right or justifiable. I try to keep myself busy so I don't dwell on this. I go to her grave every day and talk to her. I have three solar lights and small fence around it. There is a praying angel that sits there, too. I have the lights so that she is never in the dark. I apologize every visit.

I have prayed to God every day for strength to get through this. I prayed to Him for answer on what to do when Meela was sick. I never got an answer. I should have looked into her eyes and asked her what she wanted...

In time, things will get easier but it will hurt for quite sometime. That's the hard cold truth. I wish I could take your pain away, as much as I wish someone would take mine away. I am a pretty strong person and for me to get knocked down this hard is unbelievable.

I started a journal that I write to Meela in, like a letter. That's one way for me to get my feelings out. I don't really have family or friends to talk to about it. So I feel alone. The remarks you have heard are horrible. How dare anyone try to put blame on YOU! They are in the wrong and obviously don't have the human pet love we have. I would be resentful of them, too.

I keep hearing I did the right thing and I should beat myself up. I don't believe that I did do the right thing. And because of that, I do beat myself up because it was me who decided her fate. You came to right place. Everyone here has experienced love and loss of a special pet. I don't look at my cats as pets. I look at them as being my babies and part of my family. Pets are not disposable.

You can keep reaching out to me if it helps. I completely understand what you are going through. I can't tell you not to blame yourself, because you are going to do that no matter what anyone else says. But I am here to listen.
 

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Hi Lisa. I'm sorry my response was so long. I just want you to know you ARE NOT ALONE!!
 

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Lisa,

I am so very sorry about your AJ. This is not your fault.

When I lost my Lena I contacted a pet grief counselor and she told me to write
down all the wonderful things about my Lena. Oh my the list was long. I came
across it recently and it made me smile.

I am sending healing thoughts your way.

Hugs,

Mia
 
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Lisa baechle

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Today is a very hard day... I wish I had looked in eyes exactly what you said. I would have gotten the money had I been encouraged by the vet, but without her in my corner I felt like there was no way I could beat whatever it was that was causing his abdomen to swell. In hindsight, I think there was an issue from the surgery. They stuffed the remaining string down into his bowels because you can't pull a lateral object from the intestines. I don't think it ever passed. When they took his temperature he screamed out in pain. Obviously there was something wrong. It seemed for every option that could be done to try and save him there was a "but" that followed. I am really suffering today. I am sick from the guilt. I am sick from the regret. I am so so so upset. Ezmirelda my female tabby is beside herself. She groomed him everyday. I miss him so much. It may not be as bad if he had had a good life, but he was a baby.
A close friend of mine says "AJ could not be there and live there because the energy from my failed relationship was still there. My apartment a mess from getting rid of everything that reminded me of him. And my depression kept me from keeping my home clean and safe for a kitten and I let him get the string. It's my fault either way and I truly suck. AJ wanted to live. He fought and fought and fought and I let him go because I didn't want him to cry in pain. Maybe he didn't mind the pain for the thought of being able to go home and live. Maybe it was worth it to him to suffer a little longer to get to go home. I didn't ask him, I should have looked into his eyes and asked him what do you want to do? I didn't why? Why??
 
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Lisa baechle

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Ok so my vet was willing or couldn't perform surgery that day. Surgery at her office $1,000 and totally reachable, but surgery at one of those emergency clinics $5,000, harder but doable, but and I hate those places. They sent him home twice on Sunday "stable" because they had a more important procedure that they were doing. Why was my little AJ so unimportant to everyone but me? I have to believe that the vet knew more than what she was telling me. Is it only in the movies that you come rushing in with your pet and the entire staff drops what they are doing to save their life? Why didn't she say...ok we will load him up with antibiotics, pain killers, give him sub q's and pray he can hold on and we will do surgery first thing tomorrow. She did the surgery in January? She knows where the intestines were repaired. Why wouldn't she try just a little harder? She knew how much I loved AJ. Why did she abandon him? I am not going to speak badly of her clinic because she saved him once, extended me credit and allowed me to do the after surgery care at home. But I am going to remove the glowing review I gave her clinic. I am not ungrateful, she saved him once and gave me four more months, but why wouldn't she try for him? She would rather watch me make a decision to end his life rather than reach out and save him? I don't understand why she gave up on us.
 

meelasmom

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Hi Lisa. You may never get the answers to the questions you are asking. I have many myself for my situation. A few days before I lost meela, I had talked to my boss about the power of love and the will to live and he told me, "you have to remember that doctors and vets are all about science and ttat they don't factor that in." He was right.

I am mad at my vets now because they LET me make such a fatal decision for my cat when I was under duress and scared out of my mind. They should have told me to take her home and think about it, but they didn't. I was scared to death for her and for what the tech told me. I was not that rational.

It is true that maybe they knew more than what they were saying. But come on, we are paying for their help..they owe us the truth no matter how ugly.

I'm sorry that your vets acted they way they did. I'm afraid that they..most vets..will never admit when them make a mistake or error either. I'm not going to beat them up but they don't have love and faith and emotional attachment that we do.

I wish I could help you feel better. I am still suffering myself. I am here for you though. I still cry and apologize to my Meela everyday.
 
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