Did I Make The Right Choice?

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Tabbytastic

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Thank you! So kind of you.
Many many years ago I moved to my current location to go to art school. After I graduated I never did much in terms of art.
Just recently I cleaned out my home office, got my paints and brushes out and started doing wonderful paintings of Timmer! They make me feel close to him when I work on them.
Even so, it still hurts me.
In past times I had always ran out and gotten another cat, but then I never dealt with the pain. This time is different. Current cat probably wouldn't tolerate a new cat in the house and I really don't think I am ready anyway.
I hope it gets better for you too. I can look at photos now and smile. I wonder why the journaling helps us so much? It really is a great thing. I love that you sleep with your kitty's toys. I am thankful for the small things of his I have. When he was cremated, they inked his front paw and made a print for me in a card. I cherish that!!!! I have some of his fur.
Miss him. :bawling2:
His front paw print in a card is absolutely wonderful! It brought tears to my eyes xxxxx
 

laura mae

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Like others, I think you did make the right decision. Part of the process, no matter how sure you are, is to question the decision. We question it every time. I just lost the last of three sibling cats who were born August 2003. The first to go was Charlie two years ago followed a month later by her sister Etta. Charlie's x-rays showed a huge mass in her abdomen that obscured her organs and showed that her intestines were uncomfortably compressed. We had her for a couple of weeks after that visit, and I just was writing that I felt like I waited too long with her. She had pain medication that you put on their gums, but she hated that process. We tried steroids, but she was too far along to process the liquid. She was loving and sweet to the end--looking at me and meowing her very cute silent meow. After her sedative, she rested her chin on my hand and went to sleep. That was super hard. But there was no surgery and no medication and no biopsy that was going to change the end of her story.

Etta manifested with a bloated tummy--full of fluid. She was tested for FIP and for cancer. She had a fancy ultrasound by a real technician to see what was going on. She had a thickened omentum--the fibrous material that holds their organs together. The internist wanted to do an open abdominal biopsy. I knew the answer would be cancer. I knew we wouldn't be doing chemotherapy because I also was reading that chances are, it gives a kitty a few more months at most. And I didn't want her last days spent in pain recovering from surgery that would not ever make her better. Her loss was hard because she was a character--kitty full of personality. Wise and fun and sweet and my buddy.

Jeffery was the last of the siblings and he had a nasal tumor. Probably cancer but no tests. The appearance was info enough.

It's a hard decision to make-you can't imagine being the one to end their little lives knowing they don't know your intent. Knowing that creatures want life more than death. But one thing that one of the vets told me is that cats are all about "now." And if every "now" moment is filled with pain caused by things that used to bring a sense of joy and safety (food) then their "now" is torture. When Etta couldn't catch her breath and was having trouble breathing, she came up to lay down by my head---something she hadn't done for the weeks previous. I wonder if she was puzzled at my inability to "make it better." And the idea that a kitty who I protected, fed and cared for would die in pain rather than the sweet relief of falling asleep in my arms or Kirby's arms, would be too much to bear---much worse that helping them avoid that pain.

Of course, our choice would be for our cat friends to enjoy life much longer and in much better peace than illness. It is never easy and for the ones that you are closest to, it feels terrible. My cat Hazel who wasn't really aware when we took her in for the last time, I was nearly panicked thinking of her buried outside, the first time it rained.

We have a Christmas tree every year, and one of the ornaments was a favorite toy of Hazel's--those foamy rainbow balls. It has her teeth marks in it. I have a kitty angel ornament that I hang next to it.
 
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Tabbytastic

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Like others, I think you did make the right decision. Part of the process, no matter how sure you are, is to question the decision. We question it every time. I just lost the last of three sibling cats who were born August 2003. The first to go was Charlie two years ago followed a month later by her sister Etta. Charlie's x-rays showed a huge mass in her abdomen that obscured her organs and showed that her intestines were uncomfortably compressed. We had her for a couple of weeks after that visit, and I just was writing that I felt like I waited too long with her. She had pain medication that you put on their gums, but she hated that process. We tried steroids, but she was too far along to process the liquid. She was loving and sweet to the end--looking at me and meowing her very cute silent meow. After her sedative, she rested her chin on my hand and went to sleep. That was super hard. But there was no surgery and no medication and no biopsy that was going to change the end of her story.

Etta manifested with a bloated tummy--full of fluid. She was tested for FIP and for cancer. She had a fancy ultrasound by a real technician to see what was going on. She had a thickened omentum--the fibrous material that holds their organs together. The internist wanted to do an open abdominal biopsy. I knew the answer would be cancer. I knew we wouldn't be doing chemotherapy because I also was reading that chances are, it gives a kitty a few more months at most. And I didn't want her last days spent in pain recovering from surgery that would not ever make her better. Her loss was hard because she was a character--kitty full of personality. Wise and fun and sweet and my buddy.

Jeffery was the last of the siblings and he had a nasal tumor. Probably cancer but no tests. The appearance was info enough.

It's a hard decision to make-you can't imagine being the one to end their little lives knowing they don't know your intent. Knowing that creatures want life more than death. But one thing that one of the vets told me is that cats are all about "now." And if every "now" moment is filled with pain caused by things that used to bring a sense of joy and safety (food) then their "now" is torture. When Etta couldn't catch her breath and was having trouble breathing, she came up to lay down by my head---something she hadn't done for the weeks previous. I wonder if she was puzzled at my inability to "make it better." And the idea that a kitty who I protected, fed and cared for would die in pain rather than the sweet relief of falling asleep in my arms or Kirby's arms, would be too much to bear---much worse that helping them avoid that pain.

Of course, our choice would be for our cat friends to enjoy life much longer and in much better peace than illness. It is never easy and for the ones that you are closest to, it feels terrible. My cat Hazel who wasn't really aware when we took her in for the last time, I was nearly panicked thinking of her buried outside, the first time it rained.

We have a Christmas tree every year, and one of the ornaments was a favorite toy of Hazel's--those foamy rainbow balls. It has her teeth marks in it. I have a kitty angel ornament that I hang next to it.
Thank you for your kind message and I am so sorry to hear that you have lost all your babies in quite a short space of time.

I have found your message to be reassuring. Like you did for your Charlie, I had to squirt painkillers onto Whiskas gums and he used to hide, he hated it and was scared. I ended up putting it in a drop of lactose free milk and getting him to lick it. It probably wasn’t as effective but I was finding it so difficult to administer and I didn’t want him to keep running from me. I guess if I had gone down the steroid route things would have got a lot harder as he absolutely hated taking anything. Even when I put anti sickness pills in his food, he would eat around them. If he was on steroids I would probably have had to give the drug regularly and it may not even have worked for him.

Whiskas became very needy in the last few months, which I didn’t mind at all, he was probably not understanding why he felt so ill and thought mummy could make him better. Even though he was so poorly, he would still find the energy to jump on my bed in the night and give me lots of head buts, licks and purrs.

I love that you still have Hazels toy with her teeth marks, what a treasure! I collected all of Whiskas loose whiskers on the floor that I would come across when cleaning. I started saving them from when he was a kitten and I have 96 of his whiskers in a trinket box. I don’t know why I began doing this but I’m so glad I did. Not sure what I’m going to do with them.

Take good care and thanks again for your very much appreciated message Xxx
 

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Tabby, as far as wondering if you made the right decision, I've had it happen many ways...we've euthanized pets with serious problems that could not be helped/fixed and their quality of life was none, we've had pets in hospice care that either were euthanized or died natural deaths and I can say that no matter what happens, that feeling of "did we do this right" always creeps into our minds.
With the euthanized that had acute illness, treatment was available but the odds were 0-5% chance of survival of that treatment, let alone giving them good quality time. But we always wondered if they would have been that "one" that would have beaten the odds, as these things do happen. With the ones that have died in their sleep or of natural causes, we wonder if we should have acted more quickly.
Heck, even ours that have lived into their 20's with NO health problems that simply went to sleep one night and never woke up we've wondered if a little more investigation in their health to find any problems would have given them more time....but then again, we've treated problems aggressively and the quality of life diminishes from drug use....OTOH drugs have given some of ours months or years of quality life....
I get where you're at, the head is spinning and you're thinking of all these what if's. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be here, and I think your friend in the next life knows this and knows how much you care.
:alright:
 
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Tabbytastic

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Thank you! So kind of you.
Many many years ago I moved to my current location to go to art school. After I graduated I never did much in terms of art.
Just recently I cleaned out my home office, got my paints and brushes out and started doing wonderful paintings of Timmer! They make me feel close to him when I work on them.
Even so, it still hurts me.
In past times I had always ran out and gotten another cat, but then I never dealt with the pain. This time is different. Current cat probably wouldn't tolerate a new cat in the house and I really don't think I am ready anyway.
I hope it gets better for you too. I can look at photos now and smile. I wonder why the journaling helps us so much? It really is a great thing. I love that you sleep with your kitty's toys. I am thankful for the small things of his I have. When he was cremated, they inked his front paw and made a print for me in a card. I cherish that!!!! I have some of his fur.
Miss him. :bawling2:
I hope your paintings of Timmer are coming along nicely and I hope you are doing well in yourself.

I wanted to show you a plaque I had made in memory of my little man. I’m very happy with it and I wish to place it on a memorial I am making for Whiskas, on his favourite logs, in the back garden.

Keep going with your painting, I think it is wonderful!

All the best x
 

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I don't see the plaque.
Yes, I'm still painting thank you. I love it. Right now I'm working on one of my other cat who is still alive. Didn't want her to feel left out. :)
 
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View attachment 231244 View attachment 231244
Thank you! So kind of you.
Many many years ago I moved to my current location to go to art school. After I graduated I never did much in terms of art.
Just recently I cleaned out my home office, got my paints and brushes out and started doing wonderful paintings of Timmer! They make me feel close to him when I work on them.
Even so, it still hurts me.
In past times I had always ran out and gotten another cat, but then I never dealt with the pain. This time is different. Current cat probably wouldn't tolerate a new cat in the house and I really don't think I am ready anyway.
I hope it gets better for you too. I can look at photos now and smile. I wonder why the journaling helps us so much? It really is a great thing. I love that you sleep with your kitty's toys. I am thankful for the small things of his I have. When he was cremated, they inked his front paw and made a print for me in a card. I cherish that!!!! I have some of his fur.
Miss him. :bawling2:
I don't see the plaque.
Yes, I'm still painting thank you. I love it. Right now I'm working on one of my other cat who is still alive. Didn't want her to feel left out. :)
Great stuff you are still painting, I would love to see one of them when you have finished!

Sorry the plaque didn’t come through, hopefully it has this time. X
 
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I just wanted to show all the wonderful people I have met on TCS two slate plaques that I have had made in memory of my sweet baby boy Whiskas. I am in the process of putting together a memorial for him in my back garden and these plaques will be attached to it. I am very happy with them and I hope Whiskas can see how very much his mummy loves him and misses him xxx
 
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Nice job. He's a lovely boy. Are you sure he wasn't some kind of breed?
Hi,
Yes, he was a British Shorthaired Silver Tabby (purebred) and sometimes I can’t help thinking that maybe his problems were genetic?? I am just so happy to have met and known him for the time I did. I still miss him so bad! I expect you feel exactly the same about your gorgeous boy Timmer.

My friends keep telling me to get another but I’m still so sad about losing Whiskas. It is still early days.

Hope everything is going well for you. Take good care x
 

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Well, he is just gorgeous.
I think that about Timmer's IBD too. Someone told me it's common for bengals to get that, but I don't know if that's true.

Oh yes, I go through waves of grief. I thought they were getting less and less but last week I was really in bad shape and still learning how to live without him.
I do think getting another cat would help me, even though I have one left -- she's not as affectionate and more independent. I kind of would like to have another cat but Lu had such a difficult go of it with Timmer and they never got along at all. He was very aggressive and beat her up most of the time when he could, so I kept them separated. She lived upstairs and he lived downstairs. Now that she has the whole house to herself, she still likes being upstairs. So basically, it's like I live alone. She doesn't come downstairs to meet me when I come home.
I think somewhere out there is another kitty for us when we are ready.
 
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Tabbytastic

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Well, he is just gorgeous.
I think that about Timmer's IBD too. Someone told me it's common for bengals to get that, but I don't know if that's true.

Oh yes, I go through waves of grief. I thought they were getting less and less but last week I was really in bad shape and still learning how to live without him.
I do think getting another cat would help me, even though I have one left -- she's not as affectionate and more independent. I kind of would like to have another cat but Lu had such a difficult go of it with Timmer and they never got along at all. He was very aggressive and beat her up most of the time when he could, so I kept them separated. She lived upstairs and he lived downstairs. Now that she has the whole house to herself, she still likes being upstairs. So basically, it's like I live alone. She doesn't come downstairs to meet me when I come home.
I think somewhere out there is another kitty for us when we are ready.
Absolutely! It would be amazing if they could have the same temperament as what we were blessed with - Timmer and Whiskas xx
 

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Hi,
Yes, he was a British Shorthaired Silver Tabby (purebred) and sometimes I can’t help thinking that maybe his problems were genetic?? I am just so happy to have met and known him for the time I did. I still miss him so bad! I expect you feel exactly the same about your gorgeous boy Timmer.

My friends keep telling me to get another but I’m still so sad about losing Whiskas. It is still early days.

Hope everything is going well for you. Take good care x
I am so sorry to read your post of your beautiful silvertabby we have a beautiful silver tabby too, my heart goes out to you they are amazing cats, I'm sure he was sooo loved and you will have many lovely memories of him he was a gawjus cat take care of yourself
 
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Tabbytastic

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I am so sorry to read your post of your beautiful silvertabby we have a beautiful silver tabby too, my heart goes out to you they are amazing cats, I'm sure he was sooo loved and you will have many lovely memories of him he was a gawjus cat take care of yourself
Thank you for your kind words and you are right, they really are truly amazing cats. Having Whiskas was an absolute pleasure, he was never naughty in any way. This breed have a beautiful temperament, I just wish I could have had him for a few more years.

Enjoy yours and if ever I can help you with anything, I am here together with all the other wonderful people on this site. Xxxxxx
 

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Thank you for your kind words and you are right, they really are truly amazing cats. Having Whiskas was an absolute pleasure, he was never naughty in any way. This breed have a beautiful temperament, I just wish I could have had him for a few more years.

Enjoy yours and if ever I can help you with anything, I am here together with all the other wonderful people on this site. Xxxxxx
Thankyou very much, I will take u up on that offer but in a few months I really hope each day will get easier for you. I've lost many cats over the last 50 years it doesn't get easier just take one day at a time. You were lucky to have found each other and given each other so much happiness over the years. That's what I would centre my mind on now how happy he was. And how you did the right thing for him, he's running around at rainbow bridge free of pain n that's the nicest thing you could have done for him, you set him free from pain you take care xx
 

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So sorry for your loss, what a beautiful cat Whiskas was.

Ive recently lost my cat too and my pain is about leaving it too long and worrying that my little girl was in pain (now I know it was so serious). *My thread is in this forum with more detail but I dont want to take over your thread*

Had I got her to the vets earlier and had the recommendation of euthanasia vs a bad quality life, I know I’d have wanted my baby to go earlier and comfortably rather than later and in pain.
The vet advised us to put her to sleep and although she explained to me clearly; I still questioned whether I should have pushed her to monitor her a bit longer, as ive read about so many other cats pulling through the same. But I think it reaches a point where the vet is really thinking of the animals quality of life and had your vet felt your cat had a good chance, I’m sure they’d have made that clear to you.

I think the fact that you did so much research and did all you could to help says it all and your posts here show how much you loved/love your baby. I think it’s amazing that you made the best decision and ended Whiskas suffering.
I really do feel your pain and I know its hard. Xx
 
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So sorry for your loss, what a beautiful cat Whiskas was.

Ive recently lost my cat too and my pain is about leaving it too long and worrying that my little girl was in pain (now I know it was so serious). *My thread is in this forum with more detail but I dont want to take over your thread*

Had I got her to the vets earlier and had the recommendation of euthanasia vs a bad quality life, I know I’d have wanted my baby to go earlier and comfortably rather than later and in pain.
The vet advised us to put her to sleep and although she explained to me clearly; I still questioned whether I should have pushed her to monitor her a bit longer, as ive read about so many other cats pulling through the same. But I think it reaches a point where the vet is really thinking of the animals quality of life and had your vet felt your cat had a good chance, I’m sure they’d have made that clear to you.

I think the fact that you did so much research and did all you could to help says it all and your posts here show how much you loved/love your baby. I think it’s amazing that you made the best decision and ended Whiskas suffering.
I really do feel your pain and I know its hard. Xx
Thank you so much for your message, I really appreciate it. I too am very sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful Sooty, she looked adorable!

Cats are so good at hiding their pain which makes it so difficult for us as cat parents to know when things have gotten worse. The day before I let Whiskas go he leapt on my lap with his tail up and was purring and wanting to kiss and lick me. At that point I knew he probably had another pancreatitis flare up as he was off his food but I never for one minute thought he had all the other things they found in the scan and X-ray the very next day. It is scary how quickly things can change unnoticeably. Please don’t blame yourself, you did so much for her.

I can see how very much you adored Sooty and everything you did was out of love for her. She knew how much you loved and still love her.

It is so hard when the bond was so strong. Take care and I will be thinking of you. X
 

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I sadly had to say goodbye to my 8 and a half year old little boy a couple of weeks ago and I am now torturing myself thinking that perhaps I was too quick in making the decision to have him put to sleep.


My beautiful shorthaired silver tabby boy Whiskas began being sick last Aug/Sept time and he had never been a sickly cat. I would come home from work to frequently find that he had vomited, was on and off his food, looked very sad and would just sit in the loaf position gazing into space. It was clear to me that something wasn’t quite right so I took him off to the vet. They checked him over and performed extensive blood work and the outcome was pancreatitis.


I brought him home with pain killers and anti sickness drugs and I gave him a bland diet of boiled chicken for a few days. He seemed to pick up but wasn’t really his normal self. About 6 weeks later it all happened again and after another six weeks again and we were back and forth to the vet. This time though he didn’t eat anything at all for 2 days and he ended up staying at the vet on the usual meds but also a drip. Luckily he began eating so thankfully no feeding tube was required. They let him come home but once more he was not quite right in himself, very lethargic, didn’t want to play and would just pop out to do his business and come straight back in.


I would spend hours and hours researching pancreatitis and how I could help him. I also spoke with various dieticians to find foods that would control the pancreatitis but nothing seemed to help. I began to see a pattern at this point, he would be ravenous for a day or so then completely the other way. It seemed that after he had eaten, the food wasn’t able to go down properly and there was some kind of difficulty digesting it making him very uncomfortable. He was beginning to look a little thin with increased vomiting and I felt It was time to go back to the vet. I also began to have suspicions now that there was an underlying problem here. I had him scanned and X-rayed and it turned out that as well as the pancreatitis he had diffuse thickening of the whole intestinal tract which could have been severe inflammatory bowel disease or a diffuse lymphoma. Also a prominent rugae in his stomach in the outflow area was seen which could have been a possible mass. The only way of knowing and diagnosing for sure would have been to have surgical biopsies. He had been poorly for 7 months and looked so weak and I felt I couldn’t put him through anymore suffering. It was obvious that he had lots of bad things going on inside and so I said no to the biopsies. Steroids could have been trialed but he was so poorly it was difficult to say whether they would have helped or not with all that was going on. I thought at the time it was best to let him go.


I keep telling myself that surely if the vet thought that there was an easy solution or any hope then she wouldn’t have agreed to have him put to sleep. Should I have agreed to biopsies? Should I have tried steroids? What have I done? I feel guilty that I may have ended his life before it should have ended and now there is just a big hole in my life and he could have still been here.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I truly believe you made a decision that spared both of you an extended and painful illness that would ultimately come to this. It wouldn't be any easier a year from now. It's weird, the selfless decision to end our beloveds suffering leaves us feeling guilty. But we all, no doubt, would want the same. Don't punish yourself for releasing him, he doesn't blame you.
 
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Tabbytastic

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I truly believe you made a decision that spared both of you an extended and painful illness that would ultimately come to this. It wouldn't be any easier a year from now. It's weird, the selfless decision to end our beloveds suffering leaves us feeling guilty. But we all, no doubt, would want the same. Don't punish yourself for releasing him, he doesn't blame you.
Thank you so much for your kind message.

Two months on and I am still very sad. I knew about the chronic pancreatitis but I had no clue about the underlying problem of severe ibd/possible lymphoma. The vets just kept treating him for pancreatitis without further investigation. I should have got a scan an X-ray for him much sooner.

I miss him terribly but as you said at least now I have released him from his pain.

Thanks again for your kind words x
 
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