- Joined
- Feb 19, 2018
- Messages
- 3
- Purraise
- 3
Hello all. It's unfortunate that I found this site under these sad circumstances, but this seems like an amazing group of people here. I hope to continue to participate on this site in the future.
My family just recently lost our kitty. I am an absolute mess right now, and hopefully by me just posting this it will ease the pain a little, but what I am really looking for are people that have had a similar experience, and thoughts/opinions on how the situation was handled......even if you haven't been through a similar situation. I'm always a quiet person when it comes to this stuff, but maybe expressing my thoughts to a group of people that I don't know may help.
First off, this post will be EXTREMELY long, as well as personal and involving very sensitive topics. I'm going to try to divide it into paragraphs, so if you feel like just skimming over certain paragraphs and skipping on to the next......you won't hurt my feelings. And admins, if there is anything that seems out of line feel free to edit(or move) the post. I'd like to not go into a ton of detail, but I feel that it may be necessary to see if other people have experienced the same thing. Excuse all the background info. You can scroll towards the end if you desire
So about 5 years ago one of my older aunts passed away and left behind a cat. “Pretty kitty” was her name, and she was roughly 3 years old at the time. My mom wanted to take her home. I was extremely hesitant at first, but we did end up keeping the cat. This was my immediate family’s first pet. I grew up with my grandparent’s dog, who eventually had to be put to sleep (I don’t believe he passed from any specific health condition, just old age). Because I wasn’t SUPER attached to the dog (because I didn’t live with it) his passing wasn’t as devastating. Nonetheless, that was one of the reasons why I didn’t want to keep the cat at first……because I didn’t want to deal with getting attached to a pet, then living through its passing.
Anyways, so we got the cat. It took her a little while to get used to us, but she quickly became a huge part of our family and our everyday lives. We actually named her Boxer. I know, not your normal female cat name haha. But she really was our little boxer, sometimes sitting up and then boxing with us. It was all in good fun, and I truly think she enjoyed us getting her a little riled up every now and then. When she didn’t want to play any longer, she would walk away. Then ten minutes later she’d hop up on one of our laps and take a nap. She was a great cat, and would often greet us when we got home. My mom would also call her Mitten, so she went by a few nick names.
Two years ago my mom passed away from cancer. The cat was her “distraction.” And after she passed, the cat kinda became my (and my dad’s and brother’s) distraction as well. Something to look forward to when getting home from a day out and about, or a week away at school, etc. My brother and I would fight to be the first one in the house to greet the cat. And if she wasn’t there by the door, it was often a race to see who could find her first (sometimes she'd be napping on a chair or something).
She has always been a healthy cat, at least on the outside, and had her annual vet visits and associated shots. Now maybe once or twice every couple months she would throw up, and it always looked like her food just mushed together. Never thought of it as an issue, since it wasn’t a regular occurrence and she would always be back to normal pretty much immediately afterwards, and go about her day.
Fast forward to about 2 months ago. One day she threw up, and according to my dad it was a little pinkish. Almost like there was some blood in it. This occurred on a Friday or Saturday, and because our normal vet wasn’t available on weekends we figured we’d wait until the following Monday and see how she was. Well, that weekend she definitely seemed “off.” Hiding more than she normally would, and just seemed a little bit slower. Monday arrives, and she is back to her normal self. Almost just like she had a little cold that came and went, though I knew something wasn't right.
Exactly a week later, she went back to her hiding and slow habits. We joked around saying that she’s just taking the Saturday off. And of course, she was back to normal on Sunday and Monday. I really regret not taking her to the vet, but we really thought she was fine. Now for the next month or so she did seem to be slightly slower than normal, but nothing crazy. She still ate and drank water fine, looked out the window for other critters like she always would, etc. She was an indoor cat.
Fast forward again to two Fridays ago (Feb 9). My brother and I arrived home late that afternoon from being away at school for two weeks. I walked in the door and was greeted by the cat, and noticed that she lost a lot of weight, and her lack of interest towards food was pretty evident. But otherwise she still seemed pretty alert. To my dad it may not have seemed as dramatic, or at least more gradual, but since I hadn’t seen her for two weeks the weight loss was extremely noticeable to me. My dad said she had also dry-heaved a couple times. He had scheduled an appointment for the following Monday(because the vet is closed on weekends). That evening(still Friday) the cat tried to jump on this one little table we have for her to look out the window. She missed. She just didn’t have the strength. That was the last straw for us, and we immediately called the emergency vet office and drove her down. After blood tests and an x-ray, the vet said that the signs were pointing to stomach cancer, until proven otherwise. The next step would have been an ultrasound. So after a couple shots(for dehydration and appetite, I believe) she improved a tad bit over the weekend, or at least remained stable.
Monday rolled around and my dad took her to our normal vet(I was back at college). The vet there said it could be stomach cancer or possibly irritable bowel syndrome(I believe). And an ultrasound would confirm…but obviously wouldn’t fix the issue. So they decided to just give her steroids, which supposedly would ease things regardless of what the issue was, and he would report back later that week. Her feeding habit improved ever so slightly, but remained pretty much the same, and that was only the beginning half of the week.
I come home from school Friday evening (this past Friday) and notice that the situation hasn’t improved. And things weren’t looking good. She would still walk around (with a very slight wobble which wasn’t there before), and eat a bite or two of food out of our hands. Then she completely lost all interest in food, even her favorite treats. She seemed very weak. We had another appointment with our normal vet office scheduled for Tuesday (tomorrow) to re-assess the situation.
Saturday morning I got up and she was the same. I had something going on during the day, so I went about my business then returned in the evening. Again, she was very weak and seemed to have gotten worse. She even threw up, but this time it was white, which I have never seen before. We usually keep her food and litter box in the basement, but at this point we had it on the main level so she wouldn’t have to go downstairs and risk falling. And for this reason we closed the basement door. Despite that, she went and hung out in front of the basement door. She wanted to go down, so my dad opened the door and walked her down.
Next she just decided to hide in little spots….walking ever so slowly. I would go down and hang out with her, pet her, talk to her, etc. She went from one fairly accessible spot, to a much harder to reach spot where I could barely reach her to pet her with just my fingertips. She sat in her “cat loaf” position with her eyes slightly closed, head down a bit. Something she would do when perfectly healthy (but sleepy), but also something she would do when not feeling well. Something wasn’t right. With that said, she never made any sounds of pain. She kept quiet, other than some slight purring when I pet her. I knew things were heading south, but didn’t know it would happen this fast and dramatically. The difference between Friday and Saturday was very noticeable. After I attempted to pet her, I said something like “c’mon up, let’s go upstairs” just to try to get her going. We would often say that to her, maybe pat our hands our our legs, and she would sometimes follow us up. I went upstairs, laid on the couch, and watched TV for about an hour. Since she was obviously hiding, I figured it was best to give her a little alone time, and then I would check on her a few more times before going to bed.
That was the last time I saw her alive. After about an hour (probably a little less, actually) I went downstairs to check on her and there she was…..laying out in the open next to her hiding spot. Laying on her side, with her legs out, and eyes open. She was cold and not breathing. Yesterday morning morning my dad and I drove her to the emergency vet for cremation.
Finding her like that was a stab in the gut. I’d like to think she passed painlessly while trying to sleep, though that probably wasn’t the case. That was a pretty rare sleeping position for her, but not a position she hasn’t slept in before. Did she purposely, gently lie down for the last time, or did she fall down while trying to walk to another spot? Not knowing, and not being there when she passed has me sick to my stomach. I WANTED to be there, and comfort her, but wasn’t. She was alone. Her thin, frail body lying on the cold basement carpet.
I feel like if she was still around for that Tuesday appointment, the vet probably would’ve suggested putting her to sleep. Which we would have been fine with. She was in such terrible shape. But SHOULD we have taken her to the emergency vet on Friday or Saturday to put her to rest? Thinking back now, that may have been the best option. But we had no clue she would deteriorate that fast. And we didn’t have much time to process it, and figured “we’ll see how she is in a couple days.” Obviously that appointment in a couple days no longer exists. Additionally, I’m not sure she would’ve lasted the trip to the vet Saturday evening. I don’t know if putting her through that trauma would have been the right thing to do either. Having her pass during the car ride would have been just as terrible as her passing in the basement. Or having her suffer at the vet, because it was only a matter of hours……she was already in a lot of pain(I assume, like I said she never made any sounds). Thoughts??
Also, should we have taken her in a month back when the initial signs began? Well, I know we should have, but what good really would it have done? Possibly drag out the process for another couple months, and then she would eventually still reach those final stages of weight loss, weakness, etc. From the reading I’ve done, the survival rate for stomach cancer is extremely low, and there’s nothing you can really do once it advances. It would happen eventually, whether a couple days ago or a month or two from now. Any thoughts on this? Is this reasonable thinking? I'm just trying to find some comfort in our decision(or lack of decisions).
Why we didn’t take her in sooner……I think it was a mix of us not having any prior pet experience, and also the whole “this will never happen to us” and “she’ll bounce back” mindsets. Boy were we wrong, and it's something we'll have to live with.
Losing my mom was the hardest thing I’ve ever lived through. I don’t wish it on anyone. The news of her not having much time left was the worst day of my life, but her actually passing was more of a relief. The doctors made sure she was comfortable, and she was on enough pain meds for her to slip away peacefully. But in the case of our little kitty, everything happened so fast, and it was so hard to plan what to do next. Seeing her weak self, hiding in the dark basement, then finding her just lying there…..I don’t wish that on anyone either.
Has ANYBODY lost their cat in a similar way? Again I apologize if this was too detailed, and some of the visualizations are extremely uneasy. I'm sorry. But maybe hearing from someone that lived through something similar with their cat will help. Or maybe my story will help them know that we share a similar experience.
I try to think of all the happy moments, but then think of how her last moments were lived, and how everything played out Saturday night. I’m so sick to my stomach. She did not deserve to pass in that fashion.
Anyways, that is all. Hopefully none of you shed the tears that I have while writing this. She was truly an amazing cat. Such a joy to have around.
Take care everyone...
My family just recently lost our kitty. I am an absolute mess right now, and hopefully by me just posting this it will ease the pain a little, but what I am really looking for are people that have had a similar experience, and thoughts/opinions on how the situation was handled......even if you haven't been through a similar situation. I'm always a quiet person when it comes to this stuff, but maybe expressing my thoughts to a group of people that I don't know may help.
First off, this post will be EXTREMELY long, as well as personal and involving very sensitive topics. I'm going to try to divide it into paragraphs, so if you feel like just skimming over certain paragraphs and skipping on to the next......you won't hurt my feelings. And admins, if there is anything that seems out of line feel free to edit(or move) the post. I'd like to not go into a ton of detail, but I feel that it may be necessary to see if other people have experienced the same thing. Excuse all the background info. You can scroll towards the end if you desire
So about 5 years ago one of my older aunts passed away and left behind a cat. “Pretty kitty” was her name, and she was roughly 3 years old at the time. My mom wanted to take her home. I was extremely hesitant at first, but we did end up keeping the cat. This was my immediate family’s first pet. I grew up with my grandparent’s dog, who eventually had to be put to sleep (I don’t believe he passed from any specific health condition, just old age). Because I wasn’t SUPER attached to the dog (because I didn’t live with it) his passing wasn’t as devastating. Nonetheless, that was one of the reasons why I didn’t want to keep the cat at first……because I didn’t want to deal with getting attached to a pet, then living through its passing.
Anyways, so we got the cat. It took her a little while to get used to us, but she quickly became a huge part of our family and our everyday lives. We actually named her Boxer. I know, not your normal female cat name haha. But she really was our little boxer, sometimes sitting up and then boxing with us. It was all in good fun, and I truly think she enjoyed us getting her a little riled up every now and then. When she didn’t want to play any longer, she would walk away. Then ten minutes later she’d hop up on one of our laps and take a nap. She was a great cat, and would often greet us when we got home. My mom would also call her Mitten, so she went by a few nick names.
Two years ago my mom passed away from cancer. The cat was her “distraction.” And after she passed, the cat kinda became my (and my dad’s and brother’s) distraction as well. Something to look forward to when getting home from a day out and about, or a week away at school, etc. My brother and I would fight to be the first one in the house to greet the cat. And if she wasn’t there by the door, it was often a race to see who could find her first (sometimes she'd be napping on a chair or something).
She has always been a healthy cat, at least on the outside, and had her annual vet visits and associated shots. Now maybe once or twice every couple months she would throw up, and it always looked like her food just mushed together. Never thought of it as an issue, since it wasn’t a regular occurrence and she would always be back to normal pretty much immediately afterwards, and go about her day.
Fast forward to about 2 months ago. One day she threw up, and according to my dad it was a little pinkish. Almost like there was some blood in it. This occurred on a Friday or Saturday, and because our normal vet wasn’t available on weekends we figured we’d wait until the following Monday and see how she was. Well, that weekend she definitely seemed “off.” Hiding more than she normally would, and just seemed a little bit slower. Monday arrives, and she is back to her normal self. Almost just like she had a little cold that came and went, though I knew something wasn't right.
Exactly a week later, she went back to her hiding and slow habits. We joked around saying that she’s just taking the Saturday off. And of course, she was back to normal on Sunday and Monday. I really regret not taking her to the vet, but we really thought she was fine. Now for the next month or so she did seem to be slightly slower than normal, but nothing crazy. She still ate and drank water fine, looked out the window for other critters like she always would, etc. She was an indoor cat.
Fast forward again to two Fridays ago (Feb 9). My brother and I arrived home late that afternoon from being away at school for two weeks. I walked in the door and was greeted by the cat, and noticed that she lost a lot of weight, and her lack of interest towards food was pretty evident. But otherwise she still seemed pretty alert. To my dad it may not have seemed as dramatic, or at least more gradual, but since I hadn’t seen her for two weeks the weight loss was extremely noticeable to me. My dad said she had also dry-heaved a couple times. He had scheduled an appointment for the following Monday(because the vet is closed on weekends). That evening(still Friday) the cat tried to jump on this one little table we have for her to look out the window. She missed. She just didn’t have the strength. That was the last straw for us, and we immediately called the emergency vet office and drove her down. After blood tests and an x-ray, the vet said that the signs were pointing to stomach cancer, until proven otherwise. The next step would have been an ultrasound. So after a couple shots(for dehydration and appetite, I believe) she improved a tad bit over the weekend, or at least remained stable.
Monday rolled around and my dad took her to our normal vet(I was back at college). The vet there said it could be stomach cancer or possibly irritable bowel syndrome(I believe). And an ultrasound would confirm…but obviously wouldn’t fix the issue. So they decided to just give her steroids, which supposedly would ease things regardless of what the issue was, and he would report back later that week. Her feeding habit improved ever so slightly, but remained pretty much the same, and that was only the beginning half of the week.
I come home from school Friday evening (this past Friday) and notice that the situation hasn’t improved. And things weren’t looking good. She would still walk around (with a very slight wobble which wasn’t there before), and eat a bite or two of food out of our hands. Then she completely lost all interest in food, even her favorite treats. She seemed very weak. We had another appointment with our normal vet office scheduled for Tuesday (tomorrow) to re-assess the situation.
Saturday morning I got up and she was the same. I had something going on during the day, so I went about my business then returned in the evening. Again, she was very weak and seemed to have gotten worse. She even threw up, but this time it was white, which I have never seen before. We usually keep her food and litter box in the basement, but at this point we had it on the main level so she wouldn’t have to go downstairs and risk falling. And for this reason we closed the basement door. Despite that, she went and hung out in front of the basement door. She wanted to go down, so my dad opened the door and walked her down.
Next she just decided to hide in little spots….walking ever so slowly. I would go down and hang out with her, pet her, talk to her, etc. She went from one fairly accessible spot, to a much harder to reach spot where I could barely reach her to pet her with just my fingertips. She sat in her “cat loaf” position with her eyes slightly closed, head down a bit. Something she would do when perfectly healthy (but sleepy), but also something she would do when not feeling well. Something wasn’t right. With that said, she never made any sounds of pain. She kept quiet, other than some slight purring when I pet her. I knew things were heading south, but didn’t know it would happen this fast and dramatically. The difference between Friday and Saturday was very noticeable. After I attempted to pet her, I said something like “c’mon up, let’s go upstairs” just to try to get her going. We would often say that to her, maybe pat our hands our our legs, and she would sometimes follow us up. I went upstairs, laid on the couch, and watched TV for about an hour. Since she was obviously hiding, I figured it was best to give her a little alone time, and then I would check on her a few more times before going to bed.
That was the last time I saw her alive. After about an hour (probably a little less, actually) I went downstairs to check on her and there she was…..laying out in the open next to her hiding spot. Laying on her side, with her legs out, and eyes open. She was cold and not breathing. Yesterday morning morning my dad and I drove her to the emergency vet for cremation.
Finding her like that was a stab in the gut. I’d like to think she passed painlessly while trying to sleep, though that probably wasn’t the case. That was a pretty rare sleeping position for her, but not a position she hasn’t slept in before. Did she purposely, gently lie down for the last time, or did she fall down while trying to walk to another spot? Not knowing, and not being there when she passed has me sick to my stomach. I WANTED to be there, and comfort her, but wasn’t. She was alone. Her thin, frail body lying on the cold basement carpet.
I feel like if she was still around for that Tuesday appointment, the vet probably would’ve suggested putting her to sleep. Which we would have been fine with. She was in such terrible shape. But SHOULD we have taken her to the emergency vet on Friday or Saturday to put her to rest? Thinking back now, that may have been the best option. But we had no clue she would deteriorate that fast. And we didn’t have much time to process it, and figured “we’ll see how she is in a couple days.” Obviously that appointment in a couple days no longer exists. Additionally, I’m not sure she would’ve lasted the trip to the vet Saturday evening. I don’t know if putting her through that trauma would have been the right thing to do either. Having her pass during the car ride would have been just as terrible as her passing in the basement. Or having her suffer at the vet, because it was only a matter of hours……she was already in a lot of pain(I assume, like I said she never made any sounds). Thoughts??
Also, should we have taken her in a month back when the initial signs began? Well, I know we should have, but what good really would it have done? Possibly drag out the process for another couple months, and then she would eventually still reach those final stages of weight loss, weakness, etc. From the reading I’ve done, the survival rate for stomach cancer is extremely low, and there’s nothing you can really do once it advances. It would happen eventually, whether a couple days ago or a month or two from now. Any thoughts on this? Is this reasonable thinking? I'm just trying to find some comfort in our decision(or lack of decisions).
Why we didn’t take her in sooner……I think it was a mix of us not having any prior pet experience, and also the whole “this will never happen to us” and “she’ll bounce back” mindsets. Boy were we wrong, and it's something we'll have to live with.
Losing my mom was the hardest thing I’ve ever lived through. I don’t wish it on anyone. The news of her not having much time left was the worst day of my life, but her actually passing was more of a relief. The doctors made sure she was comfortable, and she was on enough pain meds for her to slip away peacefully. But in the case of our little kitty, everything happened so fast, and it was so hard to plan what to do next. Seeing her weak self, hiding in the dark basement, then finding her just lying there…..I don’t wish that on anyone either.
Has ANYBODY lost their cat in a similar way? Again I apologize if this was too detailed, and some of the visualizations are extremely uneasy. I'm sorry. But maybe hearing from someone that lived through something similar with their cat will help. Or maybe my story will help them know that we share a similar experience.
I try to think of all the happy moments, but then think of how her last moments were lived, and how everything played out Saturday night. I’m so sick to my stomach. She did not deserve to pass in that fashion.
Anyways, that is all. Hopefully none of you shed the tears that I have while writing this. She was truly an amazing cat. Such a joy to have around.
Take care everyone...
RIP darling baby
