Devastating loss of a 4 year old Cat

alexttzero

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Hello everyone, I wanted to write this thread both for my soul’s sake and for informing others as this was my first pet ever...

Raiden was a male cat, mostly white with some light brown sticks here and there. He approached me one random day whilst returning home and I was very curious of that fact since most stray cats i ever encountered would either hide or flee. I never owned a pet and i always wanted a dog since my youngster years, however after having him following me i decided to take him at my place.

Long story sort, i adopted him, took him to the vet, he said he was about 7-8 months old, we made any necessary injections and took any important pills. Needless to say after a couple of months we sterilized him. At that time I was told that its ideal to feed him specific sterilized food and thus I did most of the time.

Two years down the line I wanted to go erasmus and after that I went to the military to serve for my country. I left Raiden with my mom and dad but they dont want pets in the house thus he used to stay on the second floor which is like a storage/gym floor. During the summer we would take him to the touristic shop where he wiuld wander around, greet the customers and generally bee friendly af but during the winter he would spend most of his time at the second floor and my parents- mostly my dad- would visit him couple hours a day to eat and workout with him. I am in the army the past 5-6 months, I only saw him few times on my days off.

Three days ago my dad called me telling me that he is in a bad state and they took him to the vet, he said that he propably has a urine blockage and thus he has to do a minor surgery but he might not wake up. It turns out the surgery went well and he did wake up.

The vet said that he should only eat a specific type of food but it turns iut after leaving Raiden with my parents I didnt give much emphasis on his diet thus my father fed him pretty much whatever. He would also hunt birds and insects to eat now and then.

The next three days after the surgery had him pretty much like a zombie, trying to pee and vomitting. My father was tryimg to feed him water and him the right medicine but he wouldnt eat, wouldnt drink, and seemed exhausted. Based on vet’s overview he would be able to recover but after vomiting blood at some point he admitted that he was far gone.

My dad called me yest to give me the bad news and I cry ever since. I feel like a fool for not treating him with the right food- I dont know if non of these would happen, but he was a very lovely cat, many ppl were saying he had a soul of a dog trapped in a cat’s body and many ppl who despised cat changed their minds after meeting Raiden, he ment no harm ever and i feel very bad for losing him in such a young range. Why should any of us deserve to live and have this poor pure soul go...

I also feel sad because after going to the army which is mentatory in my country he was never inside the same home with me like he used to be two years since i found him. He was upstairs like an outcast and I asking u if I should have release him- give him or something. I havent seen him for a month now and its devastating that Ill never will. I love the race of cats and I want to give them all my love but for now after having raiden gone I dont know if i deserve to adopt or ever raise another cat.

I am glad u reached that far, please let me know in which occassion I was a fool or naive and if anything could or should have gone any different. Raiden died in my mothers arm and my father buried him at our small garden. I hope he soul is at peace and in his last hours felt comfort and deeply loved. And if he ever felt I wronged him I hope he can forgive me and take another nap, sometime in the future, together...
 

havecats

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I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved cat Raiden. Please don't blame yourself. You did everything for him that you could. It sounds like your parents took good care of him, and were there for him when he needed critical care and also in his last hours. He's no longer in pain and although his life was cut short he did have a good life with you and your family. In time, you will feel better. So sorry for your loss.
 

Maria Bayote

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I am sorry for your loss. What is more painful is the fact that you could not be there with Raiden in his last few moments. But I am sure he understands. And I am sure, that wherever he is right now, he is free from any physical pain and suffering. He most probably brought with him the love you offered him which he is forever grateful.

You tried the best you could. It was all that mattered. As hard as it is, I hope you do not dwell on sadness or even any guilt.

Do you have a photo of him which you can share if you don't mind?

Cats are amazing animals. I used to be a dog person only. But when I met my Bourbon, my perspective has changed a lot since then.

I pray for calm in mind and heart.

Until you both meet again.
 

di and bob

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Sometimes, things go horribly wrong and there is truly little you can do about it. To do wrong you must have intent. You had no intent to do wrong to this boy, and he knew it. He was surrounded by your love, and your parents comforted him as he left, he is at peace.....
Your love was spiritual, so will always be tied to your soul. You did not leave him by choice, you had to go, and you provided for him the best you could. Cats are solitary creatures and he was fine with the upstairs, he had companionship at times and a warm place to stay. You had visions of a different future, but the future is not ours to see, and the hopes and expectations you had are a double blow to you in your grief. You had absolutely no control over this matter at the time, through no fault of your own. Being out of control is a blow that you did not see coming. I have dealt with blows such as this, I am much older than you and have lost many of these special loves. I will always hold the grief and the guilt in my heart. I can tell you it DOES get better, but time is the only thing that really helps. You never get over something like this, you learn to live with it. To wall it off because it will always be there, to learn in time that your love was special and will always be a part of you, that he will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Do not make his death more important than his life. That can never be, his life was much more important and meant everything to you. You know that because your pain is as great as your love.
His love will always reside in your soul, in time you need to add on to that love, never replace it but give it more love and happiness to grow and become even more special. Like a parent with many children you love each and every one and have that love become a part of you. It is a welcome distraction to your grief and pays a tribute to honor that very special little boy. So right now, now just get through each and every moment until time can sharpen those sharp edges of grief, send that precious little one thoughts of comfort and love, and take one day at a time. We are here for you, We know and understand......RIP beautiful Raiden. you will never be forgotten, you will always have a special place in a loving heart. may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
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alexttzero

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Yes, ofc, here is Raiden cuddling with my mother. I wanted to post the whole video but it seems the forum only accepts photos...

Thank you all for ur kind words guys, its really touching hearing the thoughts of other cat lovers since I myself dont have any in my close circle. I literally adopted this little dude out of nowhere and in return after a while, two other friends of mine adopted one for themselves because of how awesome Raiden was. I am right now in a whole army station and literally crying like a bitch amongst dozens of men. I also feel sorry for my parents who went through this without asking. I want to consolidate with them but the more i talk with them the more i get reminded how hard it was for them to try saving him then losing him nonetheless. Since I brought him I deeply wanted them to love and accept him yet they paid a bigger toll.

Please let this lossbe at least somewhat informative to me... Was the fact that he didnt have a specific diet a big factor to this outcome? Should we had took him more frequently to a vet? would the vet realise such a problem was increasing without any apparent clues? Last time I took him to the vet was 6 months ago and she said he was fine and well...After looking some old dms with my mother there was a time she mentioned small blood drops on the stairs( thats like 4 months ago) thats propably a clue we missed right? If he had such a problem since then how come we didnt notice any change in his behaviour? A month ago when I had two weeks off he seemed perfectly fine, purring and cuddling u the moment he saw u? Was he in such a big pain deep inside him?

Lastly is the urine blockage problem that often to male cats? Has any of you witnessed something similar? Is it that fatal?...Please I really want some answers because he could never speak to me and I never want to repeat the same mistakes if I ever adopt another car...
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di and bob

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Don't let all the would haves, should haves consume you. In a young cat who was seeminly healthy, with a problem that had been supposedly dealt with, this something that most likely could not be predicted to happen. I really think there were more problems that sweet boy had then even the vet knew about, and there were really no reason to monitor him more closely or go deeper with tests. It is a horrible accident that could not be foreseen. My elder cat had a bad heart and kidneys and lived for many more years eating what he enjoyed, not what was recommended. You gave that boy what he wanted most in life, you.
Since this was a love only in YOUR heart, and special to you, others may not understand your grief. Never be mad, or ashamed, or embarrassed by your grief. Pity those who don't understand, because they have not experienced a love like that you shared with your precious boy. The pain can be just as devastating, sometimes even more so than grieving for a human relative or friend. We understand.....
 

John Perram

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Don't beat yourself up. Losing a fur baby is painful enough. Urine blockage usually happens in cats that eat dry food 100% of the time. I had one out of many with that problem. Due to lack of money I was enlisted military I had to put him out of pain. Next cat and there will be another try to keep the meals wet food. By the way he was very handsome.
 

fionasmom

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I am so sorry for your loss. As others have said, I do not think that you or your family did one thing wrong. This tragically came out of the blue and urinary blockages often do. They most frequently occur in male cats; one of my vets has gone so far as to say that he has never seen one in his practice in a female. Almost impossible to predict that one is coming on as they often mask themselves as being "under the weather" initially. I lost two males to blockages...one was an indoor pet who seemed to feel sluggish, I made an appointment for him at the vet for the next day and a few hours later heard a loud yell and found him in a pool of urine. He was too far gone to treat and I had to let him go. The other was a feral who was untrappable despite efforts to get him.

The answer to the questions that you posted earlier today is basically "no." The American College of Veterinary Surgeons admits that the causes of the obstructions are suspected, but not definite. The two cats I mentioned had wet food available at all times, along with dry, but every other cat I have owned has had access to dry food as well with no blockages. Frequency of vet visits would probably only have increased the number of times you were told that Raiden seemed fine. This is not a condition which is normally screened for if there are no symptoms and the vet would not suspect it unless you mentioned symptoms. Drops of blood may or may not have been a sign. However, my guess is that if you brought him to the vet for that, he would have been given antibiotics with no suspicion of blockage and if the meds cleared it up, that would have been the end of it.

Please try to think of the great life that Raiden had with you and your family. The day he followed you home, he was asking you to be his family and you gave him what he wanted.
 
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alexttzero

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Thank you guys, truly... di and bob your words are full of wisdom and kindness - u almost remind me of gandalf from lord of the rings...

Today I had a video call with my parents, it helped
me to have a more intimate resolution since they were the ones who stood beside me. My mom gets emotional very easly but my father has this more” we all gonna die” mindset whilst appreciating life and joy. Still I believe he shed some tears and this kinda comforts me because like u said - it means they ended up adoring him also...

My mother did finally put him in the house while keeping him covered with a blanket by her side but he passed away during the night. I just wish my parents didnt bust my balls about having him inside and made him truly a part of the family... I know I must not turn to my parents, but I know that if he was constantly with someone, especially me, I would come to realise something was wrong sooner...

I have to simply get passed that and continue my life, especially nowadays cause I have a lot of work to do with myself both physically and mentally. I have to let go and accept grief and misfortune in my life. It is suffocating but I have to endure.

I wish I could meet you in person, all of you guys, and in ur kind company feel nothing but love and acceptance... wether this happens or not know that u helped me dearly with ur touching words. Love is eternal, love is unconditional and I feel loved by reading ur comments no matter where or who I am or u are...
 

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Sorry for your loss. I’ve lost a furbaby and it hurts so much. Don’t blame yourself. It’s obvious you really cared for your kitty. Male cats do tend to get urinary issues and sometimes they are devastating. But you did all you knew to do for him. Thanks for sharing pics of the handsome boy.
 

les26

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I am so sorry for your loss of your special little friend. You did all that you could for him and what you thought was right, the grief has ahold of you and is playing mind games as it will for awhile, making you blame yourself and question yourself, but you did nothing wrong, all right, and your parents too. It hurts so badly when they die that it feels as if we might die too and don't half care if we do, but with time the wound heals and we move on, we never forget but we are able to come to terms better with it.

And you will meet again one day down the line and it will be wonderful, he loves you and doesn't blame you at all, he is fine now just fine, waiting to tell you that one day down the line.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope that your hearts heal a bit more each day, God Bless.....:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

di and bob

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You will never be alone. We are all with you in thought and prayer. We know your pain, we have stood in your shoes. We are all held together by our pain and our love for these precious cats. We are legion....
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Raiden, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever!

You did nothing "wrong." As has been said, "wrong" implies intent. And you did the best you could for your boy from the very first day you met him. And I will tell you what I know to the depths of my very being...Raiden is now happy and whole in That Place Where All Things Are Known, and he blesses you for your love for him, and your attempts to give him the very best life possible. And this, as well...his love for you is now translated and purified into Love, and that Love he sends back to you, to walk with you down through all of your days, until you meet again in joyous reunion. Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.
 
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alexttzero

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Thank you people, I am deeply touched...
My tears grow less with each passing day, but I am afraid to lose them for whenever I tear beautiful memories of raiden wander my mind. Will I ever look back to this wound with happiness or is it going to be a void in my heart forever? I want to give love to other fur-kin but I am afraid of being deceived of merely wanting to replace this emptyness that Raiden left me. Also I dont want to go through this period again. Should I simply accept that chances are they will leave before me and adopt them anyway...I wasnt prepared for this, there is no trickle of ego inside me that tells me to move on and forget raiden because he hasnt ment any harm ever and I want to keep on with that memory...
 

zed xyzed

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I am so so sorry, not being there makes it all more difficult. I truly believe that there will be a time when we will see our dearest friends again. He looked so cute and happy in your photo.
 
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