Devastated. Again.

[SnugglesAnn]

I lost my baby girl, Snuggles, two years ago and posted to this thread. And now, around 10 hours ago, I had to let my big boy go. He was 13 and had the most beautiful eyes. After Snuggles passed, I had much more time to focus on Oliver and tried to love on him as much I could. He loved to get his butt patted and when you stopped patting, he would reach out his paw and touch your face to get you to start again. He would run up and down the stairs like he thought he was only two. He loved to snuggle up against the back of my legs to sleep. He was my big, sweet boy.

It seemed to happen so fast this time. To summarize- he had been vomiting so I took him in last week. They ran tests, gave him fluids and then Wednesday she called to say he had an infection and so I brought him in for an antibiotic shot. He perked up and ate better for the next few days. A very dear friend of mine, who I met on this thread reminded me to love up on him. And we did. Lots of butt patting was given. We let him go outside on the porch as often as he wanted. Then this past weekend came and he threw up again. Dark brown vomit with spots of blood. I took him in this morning and she took x-rays. There was a mass in his stomach. A large mass (suspected to be lymphoma) that was pressing on his intestines. My heart sank. We put him to sleep this afternoon. I am thankful that it did not drag on, and that I had a more definitive answer this time than I did with Snuggles. But I am still questioning everything. Could I have caught this earlier? Could I have prevented it? Could we have done something about it? My vet said lymphoma is common and that we could have opened him up, but I wouldn't have wanted him to go through that.

I just miss my big boy. So very much.

 

[SnugglesAnn]

Here he is just a few days ago...

 

[Mia6]

I am so very sorry about Oliver. He was a beauty. Now he is with Snuggles, watching over you.

 

[di and bob]

My heart goes out to you, that big, beautiful boy will be dearly missed. He helped you through the sad times in the past, he shared your joys too, he was there for you and you for him. He didn't want to go, but he was called and could not refuse. You spared him from increasing pain and fear, for that he thanks you. Now you are left behind to grieve his passing and to keep his memory alive through your love. A love that will forever bind your souls together for eternity. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers, call him and he will be there in spirit.
My heart goes out to you. I know how much this hurts. It is something you never get over, you learn to live with. I will pray for you both, and so will the legion that mourns the loss of their own little ones. RIP dear Oliver, you are reunited with your beautiful Snuggles, where you both will rest in angels arms until you are all together again!

 

[les26]

I am so sorry to see and hear this, he looks like our big orange guy Socks at 29 pounds. But these things happen and we always wonder if we should've seen it earlier or done something differently but the answer is usually no, cats can hide their illnesses and pain until it is too late, and it is the grief making you think that right now but it will fade with time, you did all that you could with what you had, he does not hold anything against you, he loved you and you he, and he is fine now, no more mass or vomiting, just fine, and when you meet again one day it will be wonderful.

Our Tuxedo Simon died May 2014 of stomach cancer and I thought the same thing, I should've seen this earlier but there was no way I could have. Then 1.5 years later Sebastian died and I thought the same thing, but again we had no way to see it happening, and to lose two in a row like that which you also experienced is rough and makes it harder to deal with. But with time and love and prayers you will slowly heal.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Oliver, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Nothing is ever truly lost, and love never dies. It simply changes form and goes on, still Love. Both Oilver's and Snuggles' love, now translated and purified into Love, remains with you. Love abides, always and forever, Love abides.

 

[SnugglesAnn]

I am so very sorry about Oliver. He was a beauty. Now he is with Snuggles, watching over you.

Thank you so much.

 

[SnugglesAnn]

My heart goes out to you, that big, beautiful boy will be dearly missed. He helped you through the sad times in the past, he shared your joys too, he was there for you and you for him. He didn't want to go, but he was called and could not refuse. You spared him from increasing pain and fear, for that he thanks you. Now you are left behind to grieve his passing and to keep his memory alive through your love. A love that will forever bind your souls together for eternity. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers, call him and he will be there in spirit.
My heart goes out to you. I know how much this hurts. It is something you never get over, you learn to live with. I will pray for you both, and so will the legion that mourns the loss of their own little ones. RIP dear Oliver, you are reunited with your beautiful Snuggles, where you both will rest in angels arms until you are all together again!

I remember your kind words when Snuggles passed. And once again, they bring comfort now. Thank you.

 

[SnugglesAnn]

I am so sorry to see and hear this, he looks like our big orange guy Socks at 29 pounds. But these things happen and we always wonder if we should've seen it earlier or done something differently but the answer is usually no, cats can hide their illnesses and pain until it is too late, and it is the grief making you think that right now but it will fade with time, you did all that you could with what you had, he does not hold anything against you, he loved you and you he, and he is fine now, no more mass or vomiting, just fine, and when you meet again one day it will be wonderful.

Our Tuxedo Simon died May 2014 of stomach cancer and I thought the same thing, I should've seen this earlier but there was no way I could have. Then 1.5 years later Sebastian died and I thought the same thing, but again we had no way to see it happening, and to lose two in a row like that which you also experienced is rough and makes it harder to deal with. But with time and love and prayers you will slowly heal.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......

Thank you. I remember your kind words as well when Snuggles passed. And I am so sorry that you went through a similar ending, with the stomach cancer and losing two so close together. It does seem like I had healed some from losing Snuggles and now have lost the one who helped me through that. The past two years we grew even closer and I loved spoiling him. I am thankful for that special time, although it will never be enough. It is heartwrenching when you know you can't heal them. If it had been caught sooner, I maybe could have tried chemo or something, but Snuggles started hiding from me when I had to give her meds. I didn't want to see that happen with Oliver, so maybe it was a blessing I didn't know. I miss him terribly though. It always feels like I am losing a child.

 

[SnugglesAnn]

Rest you gentle, Oliver, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Nothing is ever truly lost, and love never dies. It simply changes form and goes on, still Love. Both Oilver's and Snuggles' love, now translated and purified into Love, remains with you. Love abides, always and forever, Love abides.

The pawprints on my heart has been one of my favorite sayings- I remember you saying that to me when Snuggles passed. Thank you, once again.

 

[les26]

Thank you. I remember your kind words as well when Snuggles passed. And I am so sorry that you went through a similar ending, with the stomach cancer and losing two so close together. It does seem like I had healed some from losing Snuggles and now have lost the one who helped me through that. The past two years we grew even closer and I loved spoiling him. I am thankful for that special time, although it will never be enough. It is heartwrenching when you know you can't heal them. If it had been caught sooner, I maybe could have tried chemo or something, but Snuggles started hiding from me when I had to give her meds. I didn't want to see that happen with Oliver, so maybe it was a blessing I didn't know. I miss him terribly though. It always feels like I am losing a child.

I do remember taking Simon to the vet almost a year before he passed because he seemed to have lost some weight and his hind end was thinner, but cats do tend to look like that as they age, and they did blood work and checked him out but couldn't really find anything wrong at that time. But later it became obvious that he wasn't right, throwing up green liquid on the kitchen floor and other things and then of course it was obvious when they checked him, he had stomach cancer. But I did take him to the vet earlier, but sometimes this is just how these things play out, and I also think sometime it is better to let them go, let them move on to the next life rather than keep them here with us and undergo treatment that might cause pain and suffering for them just so we can have them around.

And Sebastian looked fine, but he wasn't right, lying in his litter box, acting strange. I took him several times and they ran tests and said he was constipated and they could treat that but that his kidney levels were slightly raised but they didn't think much of that, then a few days later he died in my arms when I came home from work, so I really don't have much faith in blood work results because both of their's was fine but they surely weren't. But they both looked so good yet, it was hard to think it was their time to leave us but it was and they are fine now, just fine....and the little guy in my picture upper left is Sylvester and he looks like you combined the two boys looks together, I couldn't have designed a cat any better to look like the two of them combined so he is a constant gentle reminder to me of those two boys and is a great cat himself!

 

[Hoboforeternity]

i am sorry for your loss. they leave a hole in your heart you will never able to fill even with new companions. new friends will add a section in your heart but never replace the one we lost. the memories and love you gave them are worth carrying the pain all the way trough our lives.

 

[SnugglesAnn]

I do remember taking Simon to the vet almost a year before he passed because he seemed to have lost some weight and his hind end was thinner, but cats do tend to look like that as they age, and they did blood work and checked him out but couldn't really find anything wrong at that time. But later it became obvious that he wasn't right, throwing up green liquid on the kitchen floor and other things and then of course it was obvious when they checked him, he had stomach cancer. But I did take him to the vet earlier, but sometimes this is just how these things play out, and I also think sometime it is better to let them go, let them move on to the next life rather than keep them here with us and undergo treatment that might cause pain and suffering for them just so we can have them around.

And Sebastian looked fine, but he wasn't right, lying in his litter box, acting strange. I took him several times and they ran tests and said he was constipated and they could treat that but that his kidney levels were slightly raised but they didn't think much of that, then a few days later he died in my arms when I came home from work, so I really don't have much faith in blood work results because both of their's was fine but they surely weren't. But they both looked so good yet, it was hard to think it was their time to leave us but it was and they are fine now, just fine....and the little guy in my picture upper left is Sylvester and he looks like you combined the two boys looks together, I couldn't have designed a cat any better to look like the two of them combined so he is a constant gentle reminder to me of those two boys and is a great cat himself!

Sylvester is so adorable! Oliver had lost some weight as well- 2 lbs since May, when he went in for his rabies shot. I could tell he was looking thinner as well, but also just thought age was starting to catch up to him. It seems so hard to believe that a few weeks ago he was rolling around on the floor with our other cat and now he is gone. So hard to believe. I have questioned things so many times. Honestly, I had no idea this was going on. And I know they say cats are masters at hiding pain, but I really don't think he did either. However, it may have been a blessing I didn't know, since with Snuggles I put her through so much thinking that whatever it was I could get her through it. And she started hiding from me every time I medicated her. She was miserable. I promised Oliver I would not make his life miserable just because we didn't want to let go. It is so hard- this whole house reminds me of him. But it would have been harder to see him not enjoying life. He was too sweet for that.

 

[Jcatbird]

They are like our children. Love is not limited by fur. I have faced the decision too and will be facing it again. Probably sooner than later. The thing is, we give them the very best thing that any living creature can hope for. We give care, security and love. When it is time, we give them their freedom and their new wings. Snuggles and Oliver have flown free from any pain or troubles to soar where they can catch the clouds. They may take a part of our hearts when they go but they leave us a part of theirs. We will always have that with us. We guard it and keep it until all ours hearts are joined again.

 

[les26]

They are like our children. Love is not limited by fur. I have faced the decision too and will be facing it again. Probably sooner than later. The thing is, we give them the very best thing that any living creature can hope for. We give care, security and love. When it is time, we give them their freedom and their new wings. Snuggles and Oliver have flown free from any pain or troubles to soar where they can catch the clouds. They may take a part of our hearts when they go but they leave us a part of theirs. We will always have that with us. We guard it and keep it until all ours hearts are joined again.

This is wonderful........

 

[SnugglesAnn]

They are like our children. Love is not limited by fur. I have faced the decision too and will be facing it again. Probably sooner than later. The thing is, we give them the very best thing that any living creature can hope for. We give care, security and love. When it is time, we give them their freedom and their new wings. Snuggles and Oliver have flown free from any pain or troubles to soar where they can catch the clouds. They may take a part of our hearts when they go but they leave us a part of theirs. We will always have that with us. We guard it and keep it until all ours hearts are joined again.

Thank you. This is so sweet. And I am so sorry for your loss and for having to face it again. I keep saying I need a break from having animals after this- not sure if I could handle this again. But this whole house seems so quiet and so, well, lifeless to be honest. We are taking care of my brother's cat and she seems a bit lost as well. But for now, I just need time to grieve. It was always Oliver and Snuggles for so long. It is so hard to adjust.

 

[Jcatbird]

I do understand about feeling you want to take a break from animals. I felt that way before getting involved with the rescues I have now. I declared that I wouldn’t bring any more animals into my life. Then I saw his face. A shivering young kitty showed up one night. When I determined he had no family, I couldn’t just leave him. It was not a good place for kitties. I brought him in and tried not to fall in love. Yeah, right. I took him for neutering. He tested positive for Felv and my heart fell. Thirteen years later, I call him my laughing cat. Big and strong, he is doing just fine. Since then I have rescued/ fostered/ socialized over a hundred. The majority got adopted and each time I let one go, again, I said,”no more!” They just seem to appear when the time is right, if the time is right. But then, did I rescue them or did they rescue me? Grieving is necessary. You are taking care of your brothers cat? She feels it too? I’m not surprised by that. Maybe you can help each other through this time. When my daughter passed ,her cat Smokey and I got through it together. Smokey was, and still is, a great comfort to me and I know she missed my daughter. My heart is right there with you. Please let us know how you are all doing.

 

[SnugglesAnn]

Thank you. I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can't even imagine. And I hear about all of these animals that are given up when their owners pass. It is so sad- they need help just as much as we do. Smokey is so lucky to have you. And in turn, Smokey has helped you. Bless you both. My heart goes out to you as well.

 

[catsknowme]

Condolences on parting with Oliver. I know only too well the ache and pain - someone close to me, someone I'd hoped to have a future with, passed unexpectedly recently, and it really hurts. Reading the consoling words offered to you about Oliver are soothing to my heart as well. When I look at the Night Sky Trail tonight, I will think of Oliver and pray that his little pawprints will be alongside my special guy's footprints. Please know that we who also know the pain of being left behind are here for you always, in thoughts and spirits, on the forums or via Private Message. And do not be surprised when our services are requested to help another in need - we have strong hearts and can need that call.

 

[Jcatbird]

Thank you too. As you can see, you are not alone in grief. Many here care. Blessings to you and to the others who offer you whatever comfort they can. The sky has a few extra stars to shine down on us all tonight.

To you too catsknowme