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- Nov 18, 2014
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Husband and I adopted two cats, brother/sister, age 2.5, about 10 weeks ago. We got them from a foster home where they had lived all of their lives and were treated very well. The home had 3 other very large male cats who were very sociable, outgoing, perhaps even a bit forceful. Our two were always more on the timid side, especially the girl, but would sleep with their foster mom and play with her, allow her to pet them. She told us she knew it would be a hard transition for them to our home but thought they would come around after a week or two.
It took closer to a month for the boy to come out of hiding and warm up to me and he will allow me to pet him, brush him, and play with him in the room where the kitties spend most of their time, my home office, during the day. Once my husband comes home from work, the boy runs back to his old hiding spot under our bed and stays there until it's dark outside and he hears us watching TV. He'll then return to his bed in the office. My husband is a gentle soul but a big guy. He feeds both cats boiled chicken before he leaves for work and gives them wet food in the evening. He's never done anything to startle or frighten the boy, but he just won't relate to my husband the way he does to me.
The girl has really only stopped hiding during the day within the past couple of weeks. We set up a tall cat tree in the office and she spends most of her day in it, but will retreat to her old hiding spot under the office bookshelf if she hears a noise outside and when my husband comes home. At first when we got her she would let us pet her while she was in her hiding spot if we gave her a treat. After about a month she started hissing at us if we tried this and we decided to give her space and stopped trying to pet her for a while. I've been trying again to pet her the past week or two and now she hisses and swats at me even when I'm trying to feed her a treat. Her foster mom tells me she never heard the girl hiss and is very surprised by her behavior.
I'm writing to you all for advice because we are really struggling to bond with these two. We knew they were timid but thought a quiet home with lots of love and no big boy cats would bring them out of their shells. At the very least, we thought we would get to the same level of closeness with them that their foster mom did. We previously had a kitty who was the ultimate people cat, she passed in November. We miss having kitties who will come and sit with us and let us love on them. We have lots of Feliway around the house, two cat trees, no kids, nothing to stress them.
We're desperate to win these guys over and don't know what else to try. Has anyone has success with thunder shirts? Should we consider taking them to the vet for medication?
It took closer to a month for the boy to come out of hiding and warm up to me and he will allow me to pet him, brush him, and play with him in the room where the kitties spend most of their time, my home office, during the day. Once my husband comes home from work, the boy runs back to his old hiding spot under our bed and stays there until it's dark outside and he hears us watching TV. He'll then return to his bed in the office. My husband is a gentle soul but a big guy. He feeds both cats boiled chicken before he leaves for work and gives them wet food in the evening. He's never done anything to startle or frighten the boy, but he just won't relate to my husband the way he does to me.
The girl has really only stopped hiding during the day within the past couple of weeks. We set up a tall cat tree in the office and she spends most of her day in it, but will retreat to her old hiding spot under the office bookshelf if she hears a noise outside and when my husband comes home. At first when we got her she would let us pet her while she was in her hiding spot if we gave her a treat. After about a month she started hissing at us if we tried this and we decided to give her space and stopped trying to pet her for a while. I've been trying again to pet her the past week or two and now she hisses and swats at me even when I'm trying to feed her a treat. Her foster mom tells me she never heard the girl hiss and is very surprised by her behavior.
I'm writing to you all for advice because we are really struggling to bond with these two. We knew they were timid but thought a quiet home with lots of love and no big boy cats would bring them out of their shells. At the very least, we thought we would get to the same level of closeness with them that their foster mom did. We previously had a kitty who was the ultimate people cat, she passed in November. We miss having kitties who will come and sit with us and let us love on them. We have lots of Feliway around the house, two cat trees, no kids, nothing to stress them.
We're desperate to win these guys over and don't know what else to try. Has anyone has success with thunder shirts? Should we consider taking them to the vet for medication?