Desperate and Angry!!!!

fitzleigh1985

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Hi all,

So, just like my title says, I am desperate and very very angry!! I don't know what to do about my 9 year old anymore! Over the past couple months, she seems to have come to the conclusion that she doesn't like her litter box anymore. The litter box in question is scooped diligently twice a day by myself, never wants for clean fresh litter and is in an easily accessible central location in my apartment. And just this morning (again) as I was waking up, my day is already off to a bad start (again) as said feline is in the corner next to the bed PEEING ON THE CARPET (AGAIN!!!!) Naturally I chased her from the room with my (by this point) incoherent screaming, cleaned up the mess as best I can for 6 in the morning, go out to the main living area dish up their breakfast and oh look! NOW SHE'S IN THE BOX TAKING A BIG POO!!! WHAT GIVES?!?!?!

I am afraid to admit that as of this morning, I very seriously considered chucking a 9 year old cat (who has never been outside a day in her life) straight out the door. My carpets and my sanity absolutely cannot take this anymore!!! She is healthy for her age, happy (at least she seems to be), and so loved. I can't take this anymore though!! That God awful smell of pee is driving me straight up the walls.
 

abylover1234

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obvious question here, have you taken her to the vet? She could have an infection.
 

asherdash

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PLEASE don't toss her out. I know dealing with pee smell is not pleasant but outdoors may bring harm. I put up with a lot from my pets sometimes and some friends ask if I ever get mad about things they do and I explained it this way: If I knew my cats were thinking something along the lines of "(insert bad word) her, watch what I'm going to do to make her mad" and deliberately plotted against me then I probably would be mad( well, I probably still wouldn't but you get the point). However, since I know pets don't reason like this and plot against me, it definitely makes me more compassionate and understanding to their behavior
 

betsygee

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I'm sure you know this, but yelling and chasing isn't going to help, it will just make her more stressed.
  A visit to the vet is a very good suggestion--she may be ill.
 
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charlismom

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Try to calm down about the carpeting, although I understand that's yucky, and get yourself some enzymes to get that pee smell out.

If it stinks that bad, chances are she's got some issues going on.  She's 9, so could be urinary infection, could be kidney issues, but something

is wrong making her pee outside of that box.  She doesn't want to do it as much as you don't want her to do it, so yelling at her is going to make her very stressed out.   It doesn't hurt to poo, so she's doing that there in her box, but she may have had a bad/painful pee experience while in the box and she's associating the box with the pee problem and she's going elsewhere. 

I think concern should outweigh anger at this point, it would for me for sure...head to the vet, check urine, and have her blood drawn to check kidneys and go from there.

What kind of food has your kitty been enjoying all these 9 years, is it wet, dry?  
 

Willowy

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Yup, first thing is a vet check, because she could have an infection or disease. If it continues after she's been cleared, have you tried offering another litterbox? Some cats don't like to pee and poop in the same box. Stress also causes a lot of problems. And if you're stressed, she's stressed. . .and it just ends up in a big cycle of stress. Sometimes anti-stress medications will help with litterbox problems too. So definitely get your vet up to speed and see how they can help.
 
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lymeris

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I just recently took in a young straycat into my studio before the sub zero temperatures and wild life caused him serious survival issues. Very affectionate, I felt I could help him and get him neutered and ready for another home. But lo and behold he could not hold the urine long enough and the same was true with his stools, which were loose. I had to treat both problems. Vets confirmed he had a bladder infection and worms. Now that his infection is cleared, we're half way there. He proved to me he knew how to use the litter box as soon as that was cleared up. But he still has diarrhea and he poops outside the box. I've seen him do it, it just comes. I know once his bowels are stabilized (i'm using food with fiber and a small dose of pumpkin) he will go to the box for both.

My point is this. when a cat is sick, the signal to pee or poop is unnaturally signals. When you have diarrhea really bad, when you have to go you almost have to run to the toilet. Cat's don't know to run to the toilet. They get the signal and they do it because when they're sick the need to release is stronger then is natural..

So please think about this. First you know the cat has aged and after years of healthy box use she is now exhibiting new behavior. Clearly this is a signal she is sick. And being older, she may have even poorer bladder control then a younger cat. Please reverse you're viewpoint as soon as possible and help your companion with compassion and a visit to the vet. Its the best reward you can give her for all her years of giving you her companionship. And let us know how it turns out. But do it soon and try to be patient.She needs you now more than ever.;)
 

ziggy'smom

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Please don't be angry at her. She's not doing it to make your life difficult or to mess with you. Cats prefer to go on litter or sand. That's what comes natural to them. When they start going elsewhere it's due to a problem that they have little control over. It's not just a free will decision. It's really a cry for help and that's what she needs from you. If you haven't had her examined by a vet and done a urine analysis please start there because there may be a medical cause even if she uses the litter box sometimes. If it isn't medical it's usually anxiety related and something has set that off. When you scream and get angry with her you're just adding to her anxiety which of course doesn't make things better. At this point, as someone else said, concern would probably be a better approach.

When did the peeing start and where does she go when she pees? What have you tried to rectify the situation so far? You have to be proactive here or things will get worse. It won't get better on its own. The longer you let it go the harder it will be to fix it. If you could share some more details people can give better advice. Your vet can also be a great source for advice since they deal with this all the time.
 

catwoman707

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At her age, and I am assuming has always been a faithful box user until recently, should clearly tell you there is something wrong with her.

Urinary tract infection or urine crystals is my guess, which means peeing has become painful.

Cat's can't talk and tell us, so it is our responsibility to recognize that changed behaviors mean something.

Think about your yelling/screaming at her, you are stressing her and scaring her because she has pain or discomfort. 

She is TRYING to tell you there is a problem, not that she is spiteful or mad at you and torturing you by peeing on the carpet.

Trust me! I have zero tolerance for peeing or spraying, or furniture being clawed up too, but I know my faithful box users, if one suddenly and repeatedly peed on the carpet, it would be off to the vet, and ASAP.
 

ziggy'smom

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I just looked at another one of your posts where you mention that you have a 5-months old kitten. That could be significant. Cats don't like change and get stressed when their world changes, like with the addition of a new cat. If she's cleared medically you need to work on making her feel safe again with routine, a lot of attention and anything else that would put her at ease. I would not start taking this cat or the other cats outdoors at this point because that would mean another change that would stress her more.
 

catwoman707

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VERY common for an older resident cat to get upset about a new member coming into their space, THEIR castle.

Especially females!

Kittens require/get alot of attention, leaving the current cats feeling left out, replaced, and will do things like this to get you to notice them and how they are feeling.

Even more-so if the newer kitten is also a girl..............
 
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fitzleigh1985

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Thank you so much all. Let me be the first to say how sorry and ashamed I am of how I reacted this morning. I am simply at my wits end and scared. She's my baby. I've had her since a wee little 5 weeks old. Once I got up and around this morning, I heard the most meek little "meow" from the direction of my bedroom doorway and there she stood, hanging her head. I immediately climbed back into bed whereupon she hopped up on the bed with me. I held her close and cried, so sorry for what I had done. She kissed my face and kneaded on me, her forgiveness became overwhelming. She's aging and I hate it I hate it so much.

Her name is Ginger. She was my first baby. My best friend at times when all other humans abandoned me. By my side unconditionally. And I have done her a disservice today, out of anger and frustration. She has been sickly her whole life, having nearly died of a terrible pneumonia infection just 2 days after I got her. It is very likely that she has feline herpes virus which knocks her down hard at times when it flares. A recent trip to the vet proved her in good health, though I'm quite frankly disappointed in her exam. I plan on finding a new vet.

And clearly I need a better outlet for when this happens again.
 

betsygee

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Thanks so much for this update.  You're right--fear and frustration can make us respond in ways that aren't who we really 'are'.  It sounds like this kitty is really special to you and you really do love her, despite your frustration right now.  

You've had some good advice here--she may be ill, or the new kitten may be stressing her.  A visit to a new vet is probably a good idea to start with.

For the odor itself, have you ever used Nature's Miracle or a similar enzyme cleaner?  It works wonders to get rid of the smell.

Hang in there.  
 
 
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catwoman707

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Your heart-felt post brought tears to my eyes. Most of us on here are VERY attached to our furkids, myself included.

Mine are aging too, and dealing with a frustrating condition that my baby Krissy has now, at 12 yrs old, my other sweetie Simone is showing her age with arthritis, and it's aches my heart at the reality that infact, they won't be here forever. 

Innocents, that's truly what they are. No hate, no spite, no animosity, just unconditional love and companionship, and as independent as cats are, they still must count on us for support, medical help, kindness and comfort as they grow old.

Sounds like you are the same as we are here :)

As @betsygee  mentioned, Nature's Miracle, when followed exactly as directions say, it works perfectly.

Smell is gone.
 
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fitzleigh1985

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I will order some Nature's Miracle immediately and ask around town for new vet reccomendations. But for starters as soon as I get home from Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house, I'm gonna hold my baby and remember that she loves me. This was never her fault. Thank you thank you everybody.
 

ldg

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:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

At her recent vet visit, was a urine sample taken? Because blood work won't reveal a pee problem unless it is due to her kidneys. To know if stress or something has caused an infection, or the formation of crystals (or stones), she needs a urinalysis and a urine culture.

One other thing worthy of note is that my cat, Spooky, always pees outside of the box when she is uncomfortable in any way. Her teeth hurt? Pee outside the box. Solution? Dental (this we learned because we got her a dental and she stopped peeing outside the box - total coincidence. It happened the next year and we put 2+2 together. So when she started peeing outside the box the next year we said "time for dental!" (She has bad teeth)).

The last time she was peeing outside the box, we discovered she has small cell lymphoma in her intestines. (Ultrasound found thickened intestines, so we had a biopsy done).

So for some cats, peeing outside the box doesn't only mean a medical problem related to the bladder - but it may still be a medical problem that blood work doesn't reveal. None of Spooky's issues were visible in blood work.

:vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes:
 

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Hi Fitzleigh 1985,
What an adorable pair you and your cat make! I can easily say for me and I'm sure others, we've all lost our tempers over things our cats do. Our mistakes are lessons to help us be the best cat companions and give the best responsible care we wish to do. Just like our mistakes in life are what makes us become better human beings if we forgive ourselves and learn from them. No shame is needed. I think we all do understand and have been in situations that make us over react before. It's a fact of life.

I totally believe finding another vet is a great idea. Find a clinic that has a vet who works a lot with cats as well as dogs. Most of the vets in my area know a lot in different areas but work mostly on one type of pet over another. Vets are human too and may not want to tell you that they need advise from another vet.

Do you have other cat friends in your area that, having a situation similar to you, can recommend a vet? If not, talk to clinics and ask if there is a vet who is very knowledgeable with cats. Where I live I've had vets say to me "I've worked mostly with dogs, not cats, so I'm not sure about. . . " etc. I was fortunate to have a good vet when my Razzle who had thyroid problems aged and began to have heart problems I brought him to the UofM who had good vets and a Dr. from South America was a heart specialist. He was exceedingly caring and worked very closely with my own regular vet. Believe it or not it was not as expensive as I expected and Razzle got another two years as a result and lived to be 16.

Keep us posted and thank you so much for being you and being honest and letting us share this experience with you. I know when my turn comes I have a community that will be there and I know you'll be one of them for us.:nod:
 

jodiethierry64

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I know how frustrating it can be. I have a feline with idiopathic cystitis. I bought a handheld carpet shampooer and am thankful I did. I also put wee wee pads down in places I know she goes.
I know you love your baby girl.I'm O.C.D. and I want to cry when my girl has an episode but I feel more sorry for her. Thank goodness we got it under control!!
You just needed to vent!! I get it!!
 

krashballz

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The last time she was peeing outside the box, we discovered she has small cell lymphoma in her intestines. (Ultrasound found thickened intestines, so we had a biopsy done).

So for some cats, peeing outside the box doesn't only mean a medical problem related to the bladder - but it may still be a medical problem that blood work doesn't reveal. None of Spooky's issues were visible in blood work.
Peeing outside his litterbox was the first indication that something was wrong with my Krash as well. He also was diagnosed with small cell lymphoma. In the meantime, I remedied his peeing on the carpet by putting a new litterbox in the exact area that he was peeing. It looked awful to have a litterbox out in the wide open area of my living room, but it worked. And besides, it's not about us, it's about them and what they need us to do. I would've put a litterbox on my bed and slept next to it if that's what he needed to be happy.

It's not easy to keep your temper in check when things like this are happening. I would just get pissed (no pun intended!) every time I had to clean it, or when I'd walk in my house and smell it. But I'd give anything to have back all those minutes that I was mad at him for it. I would just hug him instead.

I really hope you can get to the bottom of what's going on with Ginger. It was frustrating for me and took 9 months to FINALLY get a vet to listen to me that something was wrong with Krash. All his bloodwork showed nothing, and one vet even told me I was being paranoid and over reacting to "normal cat behavior." I hope things return to normal soon.
 
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