Demon Kitten bullying Resident Cat

[rilor87]

Hello friends!
Holy cow... I am so glad this exists. I have been trying to figure out how to help my situation and happened upon this site.

The players:
Kiki, a 6-year-old girl, who I lovingly describe as "advanced age and advanced weight". That is to say, she isn't interested in mobile life. Napping and laying around is her jam. She has grandmother vibes. She is aggressively affectionate, and likes to force herself into whatever laps were available. Kisses abound.
Casper, a 7-month-old boy, who I cannot for sure say is not a demon in disguise. He wants only one thing: chaos. Nap time for him is minimal, even during the day. He is always at a 10. He tires of every toy you buy for him in a matter of weeks. Even if you give him an hour of vigorous play, he will still have a plethora of energy to spare.
Me, a graduate student, at her wit's end.

The scene:
A 1-bedroom apartment, relatively small. Casper came into the home, and we had a relatively successful slow intro. Casper would get a few growls and hisses from Kiki, but nothing dramatic. Within a matter of weeks, they were in cuddle puddles, with Kiki grooming Casper. A dream come true! They share food without a single ounce of aggression. They share litter boxes with ease. On paper, this is as much as one can hope for.
However, Casper sees Kiki as a playmate. Specifically, her tail and her neck. He chases her, and it has escalated as of late. No matter how much play I give him in the evenings, nothing is as enticing as targeting Kiki. Kiki, to her credit, will fight back but NEVER provoke. She defends herself only. It has gotten to the point that fur is flying, and Casper is chasing and attacking her to point of her yowling. Casper never yowls, so I cannot say for sure that he is "fighting", and I still suspect he is playing. Today specifically, fur flew for the first time and Kiki yowled in a new and incredibly distressing way.

I don't know what to do. My apartment is small enough that if I were to put Kiki with me, it would be a punishment as she'd lose reign of the rest of the house, but Casper is so young that he simply CANNOT be in my bedroom at night. I will never sleep.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to find peace in the valley?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi -
The short story? You aren't going to get any peace until he grows and matures. Their behavior is totally normal, but still, keep trying to wear him out as much as you can.

That said, give Kiki a break by containing either her or him separately for a while here and there either every day, or every couple days. This is stressful for her and not necessarily a good thing all the time.

However, she's only six (for reference my angel Poppycat, and many others, lived to 17.5 ), and overweight, so I hate to say it but it's probably good for her in the light of her weight.

Keep an eye on the food bowls. She should be eating less, and he needs to be eating a lot. At his age, he could be eating All Life Stages food which might help regarding them sharing.

 

[BoaztheAdventureCat]

Hello friends!
Holy cow... I am so glad this exists. I have been trying to figure out how to help my situation and happened upon this site.

The players:
Kiki, a 6-year-old girl, who I lovingly describe as "advanced age and advanced weight". That is to say, she isn't interested in mobile life. Napping and laying around is her jam. She has grandmother vibes. She is aggressively affectionate, and likes to force herself into whatever laps were available. Kisses abound.
Casper, a 7-month-old boy, who I cannot for sure say is not a demon in disguise. He wants only one thing: chaos. Nap time for him is minimal, even during the day. He is always at a 10. He tires of every toy you buy for him in a matter of weeks. Even if you give him an hour of vigorous play, he will still have a plethora of energy to spare.
Me, a graduate student, at her wit's end.

The scene:
A 1-bedroom apartment, relatively small. Casper came into the home, and we had a relatively successful slow intro. Casper would get a few growls and hisses from Kiki, but nothing dramatic. Within a matter of weeks, they were in cuddle puddles, with Kiki grooming Casper. A dream come true! They share food without a single ounce of aggression. They share litter boxes with ease. On paper, this is as much as one can hope for.
However, Casper sees Kiki as a playmate. Specifically, her tail and her neck. He chases her, and it has escalated as of late. No matter how much play I give him in the evenings, nothing is as enticing as targeting Kiki. Kiki, to her credit, will fight back but NEVER provoke. She defends herself only. It has gotten to the point that fur is flying, and Casper is chasing and attacking her to point of her yowling. Casper never yowls, so I cannot say for sure that he is "fighting", and I still suspect he is playing. Today specifically, fur flew for the first time and Kiki yowled in a new and incredibly distressing way.

I don't know what to do. My apartment is small enough that if I were to put Kiki with me, it would be a punishment as she'd lose reign of the rest of the house, but Casper is so young that he simply CANNOT be in my bedroom at night. I will never sleep.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to find peace in the valley?

If I was in your position, I'd make Casper sleep in his kennel at night. He may throw a tantrum for an hour or so, but if you resolve to not give into his fussing, he will eventually give up and go to sleep. My cat Boaz is hard to beat in the trouble-making department. For a while I put him in his kennel to sleep through the night and he pitched a fit for an hour for the first few nights, but eventually he saw that I wasn't going to let him out and he gave up and went to sleep.

You just have to decide that you're not going to let your cat rule your life. That means some temporary discomfort for you while he has his extinction burst ("This worked for me before! It worked for me before!"), but he will eventually see that he's better off just rolling with your plans.

Try playing some "relax my cat" music from YouTube.

Yeah, it's tough trying to get a cat to drain his energy entirely. In my opinion, it's almost impossible to do, because cats are hard-wired to conserve energy and expend as little as possible so they can have sufficient energy to catch their prey. They're not like dogs that you can take out for a long walk or run and then they're content to rest for hours.

How many big cat trees do you have in the apartment? Does either cat get any food puzzles? Also, have you considered leash training Casper so he can go for leashed walks with you outside? (If your apartment is located in a big city, you may have difficulty getting him to go for walks without freaking out from all the traffic. If this is the case, you can also teach your cat to ride calmly in his kennel in the car while you drive with him out to a quiet wilderness location for walks away from home.)

This YouTube channel has been a huge help to me in my journey of learning how to live the best life possible with cats: https://www.youtube.com/user/Bailarsonsa/videos

Keep us posted!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Unfortunately, what you are describing is pretty much a perfectly normal 7-month-old kitten. Using my trusty cat age calculator, I see that he is the equivalent of a 10-year-old boy. Having lived with my share of cats/kittens, AND 10-year-old boys, I can tell you this...either they are ALL demons in disguise, or NONE of them are...and I flip-flop on my opinion as to which of these is true on a regular basis. But take heart, and take the above advice. The worst of this will be over in the next 12 weeks or so. Not all of it, but the worst.

 

[ArtNJ]

Pretty much agree with everyone else. However, sometimes these things can change for the worse. With new level yowling and fur flying, I do think you need to keep a close eye on things. I'd watch to make sure the younger one doesn't make a transition from playing to actual fighting, and that the older cat doesn't develop a higher level of stress and start not using the litter box, not eating, vomitting, hotspots, etc.

 

[Furballsmom]

I do think you need to keep a close eye on things.

 

[rilor87]

If I was in your position, I'd make Casper sleep in his kennel at night. He may throw a tantrum for an hour or so, but if you resolve to not give into his fussing, he will eventually give up and go to sleep. My cat Boaz is hard to beat in the trouble-making department. For a while I put him in his kennel to sleep through the night and he pitched a fit for an hour for the first few nights, but eventually he saw that I wasn't going to let him out and he gave up and went to sleep.

You just have to decide that you're not going to let your cat rule your life. That means some temporary discomfort for you while he has his extinction burst ("This worked for me before! It worked for me before!"), but he will eventually see that he's better off just rolling with your plans.

Try playing some "relax my cat" music from YouTube.

Yeah, it's tough trying to get a cat to drain his energy entirely. In my opinion, it's almost impossible to do, because cats are hard-wired to conserve energy and expend as little as possible so they can have sufficient energy to catch their prey. They're not like dogs that you can take out for a long walk or run and then they're content to rest for hours.

How many big cat trees do you have in the apartment? Does either cat get any food puzzles? Also, have you considered leash training Casper so he can go for leashed walks with you outside? (If your apartment is located in a big city, you may have difficulty getting him to go for walks without freaking out from all the traffic. If this is the case, you can also teach your cat to ride calmly in his kennel in the car while you drive with him out to a quiet wilderness location for walks away from home.)

This YouTube channel has been a huge help to me in my journey of learning how to live the best life possible with cats: https://www.youtube.com/user/Bailarsonsa/videos

Keep us posted!

Leash training is a slow item we are working on for this very reason! The cats have not one but TWO cat trees, but food puzzles... That one I hadn't considered.
When you say cat kennel, do you have like, dog-level kennel, or the pet carrier that one would take a pet to and from the vet with? Because that might be another step, of putting him in the kennel at nighttime or when I'm out during the day. Even though she IS losing weight (14.9, down from 15.5!!! Miss ma'am is killing it), the visual of knowing she still has run of the house would be good, I think.

Thank you (and everyone else) SO much for the ideas/empathy over owning an adolescent. I know I love Casper, I just question how much I like him, especially from 5-11PM...

 

[silent meowlook]

First off: Have you ever seen Satan and Casper in the same place at the same time?

Keep Kiki in the bedroom with you at night so she can have a break. Make sure both have access to litter and water.

If you are able, try to build some vertical climbing space to help the little demon get more energy out of his system.

Continue scheduled play to exhaustion every day. Have 7 toys, wand toys that you rotate every week or less. When using one, keep the others away.

Make sure your space is completely cat proofed because he may try to entertain himself by chewing electrical cords.

Make sure that Kiki is healthy. You mention she is overweight. Sometimes stress can cause things like diabetes or other illnesses to surface.

Don’t lock up the kitten. It will only get worse for you and Kiki. And it’s not fair to the kitten.

The other option is to get another kitten the same age, but that would be allot of cats in a small space.

 

[danteshuman]

If you can rehome Casper..... to a loving home & a place where he can safely go outside or have a catio. Tell them he is very high energy. I say this as the owner of a hyper cat and a past owner of Dante the hyperest cat around! This is not a kitten older cat issue. This is a couch potato extremely sedate cat and a hyper cat issue.

Now how to deal with a hyper cat? If you could give your sedate cat half of the day off from him and drain the hyper cats energy I think you have a chance. But in in a studio apartment? Rehome. So until you can find the right home for your trouble making problem child, allow me to help calm him down. 1) you have to tire out their minds to tire out their bodies. 2) outside time is like Ritalin for hyper cats! So tire out his mind with puzzle feeders, rotating toys, hang bird feeders by a window then give them a perch or cat tree by the window, play with them using wand toys twice a day, get them to jump or climb up/down/under/over furniture when you play with them, give your hyper kitty a catio or an hour outside every day in a harness, start clicker training your hyper boy & maybe teach your boy fetch.

Dante was a hyper insecure bully that was my shadow. He got me through the worst time in my life. He was my shadow and I wish he was still here causing trouble! So maybe your problem child is worth all the mayhem.

When Dante was a kitten I called him my wee terrorist of doom. When he grew older I called him a punk. My current cat is a bit less hyper so I only call him a twerp. So I understand you calling him a demon cat.

 

[Kflowers]

Our kitten refused to nap and became like a two-year-old human who doesn't nap. Put a cushion in her kennel, with a couple of toys, then and for some reason this was the thing that made her go to sleep, covered the kennel with a towel. She'd drop off to sleep in about 10 minutes. Maybe it was the dim light with the towel, maybe it was the towel containing and surrounding her with her own scent. don't know, but it worked, where without the towel she still had a bit to say about it.