Curious about this cat on cat interaction

[sunny578]

Hello!

I have an anxious 11 year old healthy spayed female cat who I’ve had since she was born. I also have a 9 year old neutered male foster cat (who is over twice her size.) He has been dying to get out of his foster room, so after a month of slow introductions I started letting him upstairs into the main living area of our house for a half hour a day. My cat hisses at him if he gets too close, but then when he stops moving, she’ll settle back in and blink or go back to sleep.

Morgan, the foster cat, seems totally unaffected by her hissing and will continue to inch closer and closer Even when Tiny (my cat) continues to hiss and growl. When Morgan is behind his door and Tiny hisses at him, he’ll meow sweetly and playfully. He never hisses back or shows any other kind of defensive behavior.

I’ve never gotten to this stage with cat introductions before, and am wondering what is going on. Is Morgan going for a benevolent take over? Or, is he trying to become her friend? Why doesn’t he pay attention to Tiny’s hissing and give her space? He did use her litter box the other day, and didn’t cover his business, like he always does in his boxes downstairs.

Morgan is an extremely confident yet easy going cat. Tiny is a nervous woman, although she has always seemed to enjoy the drama that fostering cats provides. She lived with another cat for the first 7 or so years of her life, and sometimes I think she would enjoy having a cat companion, but Morgan’s lack of respect for her boundaries seems to add to her anxiety, so he probably isn’t the one for her.

Thanks for reading! This is low priority, but was just curious about what’s going on inside of Morgan’s mind.

 

[ArtNJ]

The human analogue wouldn't be so acceptable these days. I'll make it into a boy girl thing for fun, although that isn't what your situation is about:

Girl: "Get away from me! Your disgusting and obnoxious"

Boy: "So feisty! Your hair smells delightful! I was thinking we could spend some time together!"

Girl: "I'd rather die. Already I could wash for a week and still not feel clean."

Boy: "Let me show you I am wonderful my flower!"

In other words, one cat really wants to play -- and just isn't deterred by social signals in the normal way. Its not uncommon for cats, although more normal for younger cats. Its not a bad thing for introductions necessarily, although it might become one if the stalker gets physical before the reluctant party is ready. It could definitely be worse. I'd prefer this to a hostile cat, or one that took offense to the other's growling. Whether two scaredy cats might be preferable at this stage is a debatable thing and depends on how fast your eager one goes in his pursuit of friendship. If he stops short of getting physical beyond maybe an unsuccessful attempt at a lick or flopping down near the other, that could be a helpful thing perhaps.

 

[rubysmama]

I'm not sure there's anything I can add to A ArtNJ 's reply. Mine certainly won't be as funny. But if it's just hissing and growling, I don't think there's too much to worry about. Is this going to be a foster failure? Or will he eventually going to a new fur-ever family?

 

[sunny578]

Thank you both! This is the first foster we have let upstairs because all the other cats have tried to fight Tiny back through the door. I just can't believe how socially resilient this guy is! Good call--he does act quite a bit younger than 9. He plays like a 1 year old! Maybe his previous owners didn't get his age right. So, he's not trying to "take over," just become friends. Makes sense! I need to read more about cat behavior in multi-cat households. I don't know much.

I thought about keeping him (as I do all fosters. . . ) but we have a very expensive group of animals here (2 dogs, 1 who is 12yrs and epileptic, and Tiny, all on raw diets) and I'm not sure we could afford to add another full time resident and continue to foster. Also, I think Tiny enjoys the drama short term, but I'm not sure that her nervous constitution could handle permanently sharing her space with another cat. See all my typing--I'm trying to convince myself here, because I really would like to keep him. He reminds me a bit of my first cat who died a few years back.

Thank you for shedding some light on this soap opera we have here

 

[KittyCat Angel]

I have seen this before also. Some spayed females do not like the boys getting too close until they know each other really well.

 

[rubysmama]

You're doing a great thing by fostering and helping prepare cats for new homes. I've never fostered, but know many foster cats end up staying with their foster family. So if that happens with Morgan, you'll know it was meant to be. And if it doesn't, he'll be happy in his new home, and you'll be able to foster another cat that needs you.

 

[ArtNJ]

So you are saying that he isn't pushing it physically before the other cat is ready? Just getting close and flopping/sniffing, that sort of thing? Really sounds like a good cat for to partner with another cat, a highly interested but chill attitude isn't real common and will be helpful in breaking down the walls of any cat that is potentially able to get itself into the headspace to make a friend. Also sounds like he would adapt to a younger cat well.

 

[sunny578]

Thank you! No, Morgan isn't really pushing it. He's getting closer to Tiny than she'd like (within 12 inches or so. Tiny would prefer to stay at least 3 feet away from him) but then she'll really hiss and he'll back off. What's interesting though is when Tiny ventures downstairs (Morgan's home base) she doesn't hiss at him. He has lived with other cats before so hopefully we can find him a multi-cat household! I think he really wants a playmate. I've never seen a 9 year old cat who is this playful/in need of stimulation! He has perfect litter box habits which always amazes me. My other posts on this site are about Tiny's tenuous relationship with her box.

Thank you! I love talking about cats on here

 

[sunny578]

Hi again!
Now Tiny and Morgan are fine during the day. They each do their own thing and spend most of the time sleeping on the same couch (albeit not touching.) But, at night, Morgan follows Tiny around and she continues to hiss and growl and sometimes swat at him. I think he still just wants to play/be her best friend. But why is Tiny more tolerant of him during the day? Her hisses are much more casual and intermittent during the day, but at night, she gets a little more scary/aggressive.

Thank you!

 

[ArtNJ]

Cats have the equivalent of circadian rhythms. They do certain things at certain times of the day. It may be biological, it may be habit, I dunno, but some cats really have a very noticeable time of day effect. Some cats get the "zoomies" only at certain times, often in the evening, for example. (Zoomies is also known as the crazies, where they get super hyper and run like maniacs, bouncing off walls and such.) Also, just in general, cats are more tolerant and less of a pest to other cats when sleepy. My adult cat and kitten tend to play the most at 9-10:30 at night.

You aren't necessarily going to make much or noticeable additional progress if your only keeping the foster a modest period of additional time, so its fine to separate them at night to give your cat a break or if you need peace and quiet, but it sounds like leaving them together is not anything to worry about either, and they just might surprise you with noticeable progress if you give them time together to do it. Stay away from me hissing and swatting is normal. In all probability, if your cat was going to attack the foster she would have done so already. Sounds like the sort of wants to play vs. stable generalized dislike that is very common (albeit usually not where the wants to play cat is 9!)

As we have already discussed, the foster seems like he would be a good cat for a house with a younger still active cat. No nibbles re: adoption yet?

 

[sunny578]

That makes sense! Thank you! I have up'd the nighttime play time on my end, and that seems to have helped. They are together half the day now, and would totally be fine together I think if we had a bigger house and if Tiny's anxiety didn't manifest as urine on the floor.

Morgan is on a medical hold for a mass that they've deemed a granulomatous inflammation. I'm not quite sure what that is, but I'm picking up our second round of meds for it this weekend.

Thank you so much for your thoughts! It's good to hear that it's normal. I'm always worried about adding too much extra stress to Tiny's life. Part of me is hoping that one day I'll wake up to them snuggled together on the couch and just have to keep him, but I don't think that's going to happen.