COVID (born) kitten and socializing

[Alldara]

Good morning all!

Looking to see if anyone has extra tips. We adopted 2 kittens during our country's quarentine periods. Both were in foster homes with just their foster and maybe 3 others as guests due to visiting limits.

Magnus, the older was VERY people scared, even hiding from Amazon drivers who approached our neighbours' doors. However, he LOVES going outside. He was harness trained and began approaching outdoor visitors. We haven't had indoor guests for 6 months. Yesterday he was able to approach guests and be his normal personality indoors, very new for him. He's now over 2 years.

Calcifer has just turned 1. We had two guests when he first came home and he was happy and social. He is too nervous and does not want to go outside. As a result, he hasn't seen our outdoor guests in the last 6 months, except through a window. Last night he hid for four hours while they were over. I moved him to a room with litter, food, water, etc after 30 minutes and he ate and drank fine (treats and food) He was still tense and watching for them to come upstairs. He has seen and heard these guests through the window before and watched Magnus play with and cuddle them outside. After four hours I got him to come to the stairs and eat some treats there where he could see the guests. He refused to stay in the living room in their covered crate or on a high cat tree while we ate dinner with the guests in the adjacent room.

A few considerations:
- I'm not concerned about these individuals being untrustworthy. Magnus is VERY choosy about who he approaches and he's happy to sit in their laps. Nobel is also happy to see them (16 yr old cat used to people).

- I'm immunocompromised, increasing guests is not optional as most people are now not masking etc and most are not willing to take a COVID test to come indoors to visit (the tests are free where we are). Magnus also has a heart murmur, so his risk should he catch COVID, as cats can, would be high.

- we are already using Feliway daily
- we play with radio and television frequently so they hear different voices and sounds, including when we go out
- we keep windows open to screens when guests are outside so they can hear voices in person
- we give the option to each cat to come out to greet guests
- Calcifer's fosters were not English. He didn't understand much English when he arrived to us. He listens best to French, our friends are English. I speak basic French only and my partner is bilingual. He hears both at home since he was 5 months. However radio etc is French, Nobel only listens to French due to some weird circumstances. We are considering that Calcifer might be more frightened of people he has difficulty understanding??
- also considering that around 1 year is when they begin to stop feeling kitten-invincible

We have family coming to visit in 2 months. We don't want him to be frightened for 4 days while they visit to the point of not leaving a single room.

 

[ArtNJ]

Well, there are two solutions to fear of visitors. Well three -- fear of strangers isn't abnormal for a cat, and isn't something that necessarily has to be cured. But you'd like to try, so lets scratch that. Of the two remaining, one is more friendly visitors. Since that is out, really all that is left is having friendly visitors specifically work to befriend that cat. I believe Jackson Galaxy covered this on one episode of My Cat From Hell, but its really not so complicated. If the cat loves treats, the visitors can try to lure out with treats. If there is a favorite toy, they can try that. And if they need to sit quietly for a good while first before trying these bonding tips, they can do those things later.

Thats really about it. The good news is that even if you can't fix this in 2 months, at some future point, when you can have more visitors, it can be fixed then. I've often seen that cats' attitudes towards strangers can vary up and down over their life based on simple things, like how often you have visitors, and how often they are the quiet type that go out of their way to be nice to the cat, vs how often they are noisy contractors. For example, when my daughter was younger she had many play dates, and many of her friends really liked cats -- and the cats go friendlier to strangers. Then as covid hit and she got older, the same cats got less accepting of strangers. Sometimes you can hit a point where the cat has enough confidence and lack of fear of strangers that it seems to be permanent, and even if you dont get may visitors, the cat will still be friendly to them. There is hope for that down the road.

 

[sanfran_kitty_lady_21]

So, I adopted a cat who was similarly terrified of all humans except for me. Not a kitten, a 6 year old. She started off hiding behind my computer monitor, eyes dilated, shaking, whenever I had people over. But over about a year she's actually become an extrovert who likes to watch from her cat tree for about 10 minutes but after that likes to go up to everyone for pets, sit next to them, etc. I want to be clear, she's still a little anxious around guests, jumpier, less cuddly. But she's not terrified.

Here are the things that worked for me:

--I used Jackson Galaxy's stress stopper and that was the first thing that made a MASSIVE difference. I don't need it anymore, but it just helped pause those "freak out" brain pathways enough for her to just observe that guests were not a bad thing. The first time I used it she at least stayed in her cat tree in the living room rather than hiding. It was such a massive difference.
--I avoided making a big deal out of it and I let her come out in her time. In fact, I would try to ignore her when she was hiding in a corner. Why? Because if I sent the signal that everything is fine and Mom is acting normal, she would pick up on that. But if I kept checking on her, trying to pull her out, my anxiety around her is what she would read. So instead of me forcing her to do something she didn't want, putting negative energy towards her, I spent time laughing with my guests, drinking wine...and slowly she started to move from behind the monitor to just on the desk where she could see us, then smelling shoes and watching us from a distance. So she was able to determine that, oh, maybe I don't have to be scared.
--If I had cleaners come over or plumbers/electricians/etc, I never put her away. I think that helped normalize the idea of other people coming over. In fact, when people came over (regardless of why) I never moved her stuff since that can add stress. Her things are all fully integrated everywhere in my place.
--I maintained her routine while the guests were there. 2pm lunch time still happened. Again - see everything is fine - signal.
--I gave her treats when guests came over and often let my guests give her treats. Creating positive associations.
--I have a cat tree in the living room that's partially covered (it looks like a tree and the branches are all around it). I think that gave her a place where she felt safe while being able to observe both visually and audio. Do you have something with height and cover in the areas your guests would spend time? Do your cats feel comfortable in the space your guests tend to hang out or will be hanging out?

Hope some of those things help.

 

[Alldara]

So, I adopted a cat who was similarly terrified of all humans except for me. Not a kitten, a 6 year old. She started off hiding behind my computer monitor, eyes dilated, shaking, whenever I had people over. But over about a year she's actually become an extrovert who likes to watch from her cat tree for about 10 minutes but after that likes to go up to everyone for pets, sit next to them, etc. I want to be clear, she's still a little anxious around guests, jumpier, less cuddly. But she's not terrified.

Here are the things that worked for me:

--I used Jackson Galaxy's stress stopper and that was the first thing that made a MASSIVE difference. I don't need it anymore, but it just helped pause those "freak out" brain pathways enough for her to just observe that guests were not a bad thing. The first time I used it she at least stayed in her cat tree in the living room rather than hiding. It was such a massive difference.
--I avoided making a big deal out of it and I let her come out in her time. In fact, I would try to ignore her when she was hiding in a corner. Why? Because if I sent the signal that everything is fine and Mom is acting normal, she would pick up on that. But if I kept checking on her, trying to pull her out, my anxiety around her is what she would read. So instead of me forcing her to do something she didn't want, putting negative energy towards her, I spent time laughing with my guests, drinking wine...and slowly she started to move from behind the monitor to just on the desk where she could see us, then smelling shoes and watching us from a distance. So she was able to determine that, oh, maybe I don't have to be scared.
--If I had cleaners come over or plumbers/electricians/etc, I never put her away. I think that helped normalize the idea of other people coming over. In fact, when people came over (regardless of why) I never moved her stuff since that can add stress. Her things are all fully integrated everywhere in my place.
--I maintained her routine while the guests were there. 2pm lunch time still happened. Again - see everything is fine - signal.
--I gave her treats when guests came over and often let my guests give her treats. Creating positive associations.
--I have a cat tree in the living room that's partially covered (it looks like a tree and the branches are all around it). I think that gave her a place where she felt safe while being able to observe both visually and audio. Do you have something with height and cover in the areas your guests would spend time? Do your cats feel comfortable in the space your guests tend to hang out or will be hanging out?

Hope some of those things help.

Yes he has a high cat tree and a ground level covered dog crate in the main area where guests would be. He refused to stay in either area to observe them. It's where he spends most of his time usually. I had hoped the distraction of watching the birds, one of his favourite past times, would entice him to stay.

Cal is VERY food focused but would not eat for the first hour. Then he would eat food from me, but would not allow guests to approach the same level before hiding. I did have guests offer Magnus treats. He choose not to eat the treats but decided the guests were fine anyway. Magnus is not food focused and it's not unusual behaviour for him.

We fed at the same time, but you're right. I did notice when I used more positive reactions to his nervous behaviour after guests left, using words I normally use, he recovered quickly.

I'll try to pick up the stress stopper.

Lily used to be terrified of guests when we first brought her home, but it being back in the early 2000s, I was able to slowly socialize her over two years. She became a great advocate for cats and encouraged many friends to adopt.

COVID is outside the realm of normal for all of us, I normally wouldn't jump straight to a 4 day visit to socialize a cat.

 

[Alldara]

Well, there are two solutions to fear of visitors. Well three -- fear of strangers isn't abnormal for a cat, and isn't something that necessarily has to be cured. But you'd like to try, so lets scratch that. Of the two remaining, one is more friendly visitors. Since that is out, really all that is left is having friendly visitors specifically work to befriend that cat. I believe Jackson Galaxy covered this on one episode of My Cat From Hell, but its really not so complicated. If the cat loves treats, the visitors can try to lure out with treats. If there is a favorite toy, they can try that. And if they need to sit quietly for a good while first before trying these bonding tips, they can do those things later.

Thats really about it. The good news is that even if you can't fix this in 2 months, at some future point, when you can have more visitors, it can be fixed then. I've often seen that cats' attitudes towards strangers can vary up and down over their life based on simple things, like how often you have visitors, and how often they are the quiet type that go out of their way to be nice to the cat, vs how often they are noisy contractors. For example, when my daughter was younger she had many play dates, and many of her friends really liked cats -- and the cats go friendlier to strangers. Then as covid hit and she got older, the same cats got less accepting of strangers. Sometimes you can hit a point where the cat has enough confidence and lack of fear of strangers that it seems to be permanent, and even if you dont get may visitors, the cat will still be friendly to them. There is hope for that down the road.

Yes thank you. Since my family lives far away and must stay for a week at a time, I don't feel it's too fair to let him be frightened for that long twice a year (how long they usually visit in non-covid times). It's 5 people, so three sleep in the basement (less cat-only area) and two on the top floor...which is an office that also happens to be the room we quarentined them in upon coming home. It's 'their' room with many of their things. The door won't be shut, but he'll need the confidence to go to it. My family have their own cats, and there's no particularly young children who will chase them or anything.

We focused so much on building Magnus's confidence over the last 6 months as Calcifer's previous interactions were fine.

 

[ArtNJ]

I dont want to be a debby downer, maybe you can do enough advance work to make a difference, but dont neglect the practical make-it-less bad stuff. In the make it less bad mold: (1) alert the guests that for the sake of the nervous cat you want to help with the luggage so there isn't a lot of banging; (2) figure out where the cat is likely to hide, and set up some food/water/litter. I mean, hopfully you don't need that, but if it takes the cat 24 hours, it takes the cat 24 hours. It will just be less stressful for everyone if he has easy access to food and water and a litterbox. I do exactly the same thing when I have contractors in the house -- ie. I put the cats in the finished basement with all the supplies they need. Hopefully they come right out when the contractors are gone, but if they need more time, I don't want them to go without, or have an accident.

 

[Alldara]

I dont want to be a debby downer, maybe you can do enough advance work to make a difference, but dont neglect the practical make-it-less bad stuff. In the make it less bad mold: (1) alert the guests that for the sake of the nervous cat you want to help with the luggage so there isn't a lot of banging; (2) figure out where the cat is likely to hide, and set up some food/water/litter. I mean, hopfully you don't need that, but if it takes the cat 24 hours, it takes the cat 24 hours. It will just be less stressful for everyone if he has easy access to food and water and a litterbox. I do exactly the same thing when I have contractors in the house -- ie. I put the cats in the finished basement with all the supplies they need. Hopefully they come right out when the contractors are gone, but if they need more time, I don't want them to go without, or have an accident.

Thanks. Yes we will do this. The plan is also to have them meet Magnus outside first. Perhaps Cal can sniff them through the screen.

The room we usually put them in if the Superintendent needs to come by is the room two guests will be staying in. It might mean adding a spare litter for the few days in our bedroom. Excellent idea thanks. They have water on all floors of the house and both bedrooms upstairs.
We usually feed downstairs during the day and upstairs at night so they are used to both.

At 16 Nobel doesn't do stairs as often anymore but we like to bring him to bed at night to be with the rest of the family, so it's set up for this. The basement has litter but no food/water. The guests will mostly be on that level so I do not expect Cal to be there.

 

[arr]

We are in the same boat. We have what we call pandemic pets, so they weren’t socialized to anyone but us. They especially can’t deal with children, since we are a quiet child free couple. We have since had family (with small children!) come and stay for a few days. We currently have family for three days and more family and their dog stopped by tonight. One cat especially can’t take it, she hides the whole time and I bring her food to wherever she is hiding. The other one isn’t as bad but close. The third one does surprisingly well, he came around the dog tonight. He seemed calm. However, when they left, he couldn’t eat his dinner so I know the whole thing disturbed him. All of them have been eating about half or less of what they normally eat.

As far as what to do about it, I decided not to do anything. I just meet them where they are. We have the type of house that has many safe, quiet spaces for them to hide. If they want to venture out, fine, if not, fine. I feed them where they will eat. I tell guests to just leave them alone unless the cat approaches them. I’m hoping as time goes on and we get more visitors, the repeated exposures will help them. Usually by the end of the visit they are wandering around in the open, and occasionally accepting pets from an adult, so they do seem to get more comfortable.

So I guess I’m suggesting one option is just don’t worry about it. If Calcifer wants to stay in a room for four days, just let him. Based on what I’ve observed in my cats, I think he may start by staying in the room, but by the time they leave, he will probably have decided to come out, at least a little bit.

 

[danteshuman]

My cat was still working on his socialization as a young 1 year old when the pandemic started. He is to nervous to eat his treats outside on his harness. After I got vaccinated I started getting closer to my neighbors while talking to them outside. I wish I had known this when he was a skittish if strangers kitten: If I go up to the neighbor and talk to them he is braver. I can sometimes get him to come to us if I call him to us. If I pet him, the neighbor can start petting him and I often times can stop, letting the neighbor solo pet him. Hope it helps!

 

[Alldara]

My cat was still working on his socialization as a young 1 year old when the pandemic started. He is to nervous to eat his treats outside on his harness. After I got vaccinated I started getting closer to my neighbors while talking to them outside. I wish I had known this when he was a skittish if strangers kitten: If I go up to the neighbor and talk to them he is braver. I can sometimes get him to come to us if I call him to us. If I pet him, the neighbor can start petting him and I often times can stop, letting the neighbor solo pet him. Hope it helps!

Thanks! This is what we've done with Magnus. I also say, "Hey it's a friend". Usually that helps Magnus be braver. Mags did actually approach a calm dog the other day.

Maybe getting Calcifer outside and watching Magnus approach people will help too I can start with just a minute or too since he is nervous about outside.

 

[Alldara]

Update: Cal does not like going outside so that won't work. Stress spray is in and we are waiting on a second diffuser.

 

[Alldara]

Update: with the spray things have improved with the same repeated guests.

Calcifer stayed downstairs the entire visit yesterday with some tension. However he was happy to play a bit in front of and with his new friends including rolling. He asked for pets from them but was sometimes nervous. He would walk away or go to his perch (same room) which I found to be a good sign. He also ate and drank and used the litter box on that level while they were over.

We've had two other friends come by masked and he was nervous of one but then approached. The second he ran over to greet (she's come by masked before).

Upstairs we've kept cat calming music on and the door open only enough for the cats so he can 'hide'.

The previous times I was coaxing him onto the stairs with food.

This makes us feel a bit more hopefully for the upcoming family visit.

We have a friend he has not met before willing to take a rapid test and will come over Sunday if negative. That will be a good test for him. I have been to this friends house and spent the night, so he has smelled her home smells and cats on me before.

 

[Furballsmom]

This makes us feel a bit more hopefully for the upcoming family visit.

I'm glad, good work on your part!

 

[Alldara]

Update: were nervous of new guest but both did sleep while she was over. Magnus fully slept with belly exposed and got all twitchy about 6ft away from her, next to me. She patted him just once. Calcifer was happy to approach her. Fingers crossed for things weekend to go smoothly.

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[Alldara]

Final update: though they stayed tense, they did come down during quieter times to get treats and pets. Magnus did better than Calcifer.

We used the spray like above and that helped. They had all they needed in one off-limits space. I fed them here for the most part too. They were good the first evening and then once they realized people were sleeping over that was really weird for them (and nice for Nobel, who was quite used to this in younger years and frankly over the moon happy).

It was hard for Cal who was tense but I started with morning feedings downstairs while others were asleep. In the end, the guests didn't get to see their full personalities but they did get to meet them and the boys had a little scary but overall positive first experience and really made many great steps forward.

 

[Furballsmom]

and nice for Nobel, who was quite used to this in younger years and frankly over the moon happy).

Awwww, I'm glad!

It sounds like you and they did remarkably well, good all around

 

[Alldara]

Awwww, I'm glad!

It sounds like you and they did remarkably well, good all around

We did thanks. They all bounced back quickly despite the thunderstorm that hit us just afterwards

 

[Furballsmom]

despite the thunderstorm that hit us just afterwards

Oh my!