Corrupt a Wish

[Boris Diamond]

The weather is like you say, but the winter temperatures are warm enough that all the plants grow like crazy and it's Day of the Triffids all over again.

I wish mosquitoes and ticks would cease to exist.

 

[di and bob]

But then would beneficial insects too, and we would starve.......

I wish the dishwasheer would empty itself.

 

[Talien]

It empties itself by coming to life and vomiting dishes all over the floor. It also refuses to ever clean dishes again because they taste bad, and it swears a lot.

I wish career politicians would spontaneously combust.

 

[debbila]

Talien You want a lot of things to spontaneously combust

 

[Boris Diamond]

They do spontaneously combust, but everyone else becomes afraid of holding office for fear of spontaneously combusting and the country sinks into anarchy.

I wish everyone had good health.

 

[Talien]

Everyone is the picture of health, illness and disease no longer exist.....but everyone's IQ drops into the double digits and Idiocracy is no longer just a funny movie.

I wish anarchists would spontaneously combust.

Talien You want a lot of things to spontaneously combust

The secret is to picture it all as a cartoon or stick figures.

 

[Mia6]

They do but they come back as Chairman Mao x 1,000,000,000

I wish I could live in France and Italy, as well as here

 

[Katie M]

You can, but you get instantly transported to each country at random times, no matter what you're doing at the moment.

I wish my downstairs neighbor would move out.

 

[BellaGooch]

They do move out, but they move in with you!

I wish Covid would leave and never come back.

 

[kissthisangel]

They do move out, but they move in with you!

I wish Covid would leave and never come back.

granted but for the price of Covid not returning it demands a tribute of one meme per day from every person on earth.

I wish I lived in a zoo and could talk to the animals.

 

[BellaGooch]

You git it! Except for the fact you live in the animals' pens with them and are forced to become an attraction at the zoos...

I wish I was more productive during the day.

 

[Mia6]

You do, but you have to work 120 hours a week.

I wish I could be on Saturday Night Live

 

[BellaGooch]

You got it! But you get stage fright and starstruck, blackout in the middle of the show, hit your head, and you forget all about it.

I wish all of my pets got along peacefully.

 

[kissthisangel]

they do but they grow opposable thumbs and form a resistance. I wish I was married to Gordon Ramsay

 

[Katie M]

You are, but he critiques your food all the time.

I wish my pizza would get here.

 

[Graceful-Lily]

Your pizza gets to you but it is now sentient and begs for it's life.

I wish I could hear other people's thoughts.

 

[BellaGooch]

You can, but you are no longer able to speak or anything but their thoughts.

I wish I could go to the movie theatre.

 

[strider rose]

you go to the movies but you come back out cause it was too expensive

I wish that i could have a 3rd cat in the house

 

[Alicia88]

The 3rd cat cries constantly unless you're petting him. You can't cook, clean, or sleep - you must constantly pet the cat.

I wish I had a self-cleaning, self-organizing house.

 

[Talien]

You get your wish, but it's idea of cleaning and organizing is getting rid of all the dirty disorganized humans.

I wish Bill Nye was actually a scientist and wasn't just pretending.