Corrupt a Wish

[Mia6]

You have a very comfortable car, but it's shaped like a giant baby carriage and the chauffeur speaks in baby talk.

Baby talk, ha!!!! My least fave quality unless speaking to our kitties


They do but they come back to life living in a house next to you.

I wish I had a pilot's license and a Gulfstream jet.

 

[Boris Diamond]

You have a pilot's license and a Gulfstream jet, but the jet is mysteriously drawn to the actual Gulf Stream, lands there and sinks into the ocean.

I wish I could fly like Superman.

 

[Mia6]

You can and you do but you fly into North Korea and have to live with Kim Jong-un

I wish I could own a beach house in the French Riviera

 

[di and bob]

Granted, right next door to a senior nudist colony!

I wish I could take a real vacation, not just overnighters......

 

[Boris Diamond]

You get a two week's vacation, but it is at a motel between a chemical plant and a garbage dump.

I wish cats would empty their own litter boxes.

 

[Talien]

A neverending stream of Cats from all over the world make a pilgrimage to your house to empty their litterboxes onto your lawn.

I wish people who flick cigarette butts out of car windows would spontaneously combust.

 

[Boris Diamond]

They do spontaneously combust, but all the people spontaneously combusting causes global warming to rapidly accelerate and the air to become so polluted that the earth cannot sustain life.

I wish I could travel the universe seeing quasars, supernovae, double and triple stars, star nurseries and the effects of black holes.

 

[Katie M]

You'll see the effects of a black hole up close, by getting sucked into one.

I wish I could travel back in time and visit different eras.

 

[Boris Diamond]

You can travel back in time and see different eras, but only as a snail.

I wish scientists would invent cheap and reliable teleportation.

 

[Talien]

It's so cheap everyone is able to afford it, and it's so reliable that it even has a "favorites" setting to save a number of places. Unfortunately this results in rampant telefragging when 70% of the population explodes after favoriting various fast food places and they all try to teleport to them at the same time.

I wish that would actually happen, it'd be hilarious to watch.

 

[BellaGooch]

This actually happens, but you're part of that 70%!

I wish we could put an end to poverty.

 

[Boris Diamond]

We put an end to poverty, but now everyone is a rich snob.

I wish everyone had enough to eat.

 

[Lola3791]

Everyone does but only until a world-wide famine hits.
I wish that no one would feel sadness.

 

[Talien]

Nobody feels sadness, everyone is always angry instead and the entire human race ends up murdering eachother in fits of uncontrolled rage that would put the Hulk to shame.

I wish people breathed water instead of air.

 

[BellaGooch]

people breathe water instead of air, but all of the water in the world is thus corrupted and puts all of the sea-life to death.

I wish I could go see a Broadway musical.

 

[Katie M]

You can, but it's the 1988 Carrie.

I wish I could find a job.

 

[BellaGooch]

You can, but it's working as pest control and you get severely underpaid.

I wish I had more time in the day to get things done.

 

[Talien]

You now live the same day over and over for eternity, with all the time in the world to get things done.

I wish drunk drivers would spontaneously combust.

 

[Mia6]

They do but come back to life as heroin addicts stealing from everyone

I wish my Cal had shorter hair

 

[di and bob]

He does, but now he sheds so much the house needs vacuuming every single day!

I wish every fall would have one hard freeze to clean everything up (including bugs and weeds) and then return to 'nicer' temps, until spring! (like 50's or 60's) A few colder days for some pretty snow.