Considering Rehoming Cat

LivGrace

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I have had a cat (4 years old) for about 3.5 years now and he means more to me than anything. He is my baby and I love him so much. Some kids found malnourished kittens in my neighborhood about a year ago and I took one in to foster. I fell in love with him and decided to keep him. He and my cat were constantly playing and spending time together and they loved each other. After a few months, I noticed some weird health problems so after taking him to the vet multiple times and getting an ultrasound for him, they told me he had congestive kidney failure likely due to poor genes. I kept him as comfortable as I could and tried to make him happy until his quality of life was too bad and I had to have him put down. A few months later, I considered getting another cat since my cat loved the kitten so much.

About 7 months ago, I adopted a cat (5 years old) and at first he and my other cat didn't get along but they became friendly with each other. The new cat is perfectly lovable and his foster mom was telling me how cuddly and friendly he was and how he was such a loving cat. I have never experienced that with him. She said he loved other cats and was always spending time with them and snuggling them. He usually hides all day until it is time to eat and never wants attention when I try to pet him or play with him. I'm worried that he isn't that happy living here. I have tried to make him happy but he and I just haven't clicked. He also seems to have less patience with my other cat now. When my first cat tries to play with him, he usually gets irritated and starts hissing and howling and pinning his ears back.

I fostered some kittens a little bit ago until they could find a home. My cats were very patient and playful with them and they both did great. My newer cat seemed to like them more than he likes my original cat. I immediately fell in love with each of foster kittens. It broke my heart to give them away but I knew that it would be best for them. I usually feel a connection to animals very quickly like this but I still don't feel that with my newer cat. The thought of rehoming the foster kittens was worse for me than the thought of rehoming him. When I thought of rehoming him it was almost more of a relief to me and I felt very guilty about that.

I have tried to give our relationship more time because I know that it was a big change for him when he came to live with me. I feel like we should have connected with each other more by now though. He has no behavioral problems and he's a good cat but we just don't really click. I am worried that he is not happy here because of how he acts here compared to his foster mom and how he and my original cat are no longer getting along too well. I am feeling like he may be happier in a different home but I am also worried that he would feel like I abandoned him. I adopted him from a great organization and they would take him back so he would go to a great home. However, the thought of rehoming a cat just because he isn't what I expected and because we don't click makes me feel very guilty.

I am just curious if anybody else has ever experienced anything like this or has any advice for me. I want him to be happy and I want to do the right thing. He had a rough life before he came here and I don't want to bounce him around from home to home too much but I think he may be happier elsewhere. Sorry for the long post but I just hope somebody can help me out. Any advice would be great. Thanks.
 

Furballsmom

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Hi! Welcome!!
I am also worried that he would feel like I abandoned him.
First of all, he won't - cats don't think that way.

anybody else has ever experienced anything like this
Yes. I and my partner attempted to adopt a cat prior to finding Poppycat that you see in my avatar picture. We brought her home, and she was an interesting personality. She really seemed to know her own mind and had a lot of self confidence, but was understandably stressed from the shelter environment - at that time they were only able to have her out in the main part of the building - noisy and sometimes a bit chaotic.

In any case I started to work with her and she began to relax. However, my partner and she had absolutely no connection. We made the decision to take her back to the shelter.

Due to the feedback I provided them she was fostered, which was a much better outcome for her, and we eventually found Poppy.

So, a difficult decision ended up being a win-win.

I think he may be happier elsewhere.
I like to think that this cat may also have a positive outcome :)
 
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LivGrace

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Hi! Welcome!!

First of all, he won't - cats don't think that way.


Yes. I and my partner attempted to adopt a cat prior to finding Poppycat that you see in my avatar picture. We brought her home, and she was an interesting personality. She really seemed to know her own mind and had a lot of self confidence, but was understandably stressed from the shelter environment - at that time they were only able to have her out in the main part of the building - noisy and sometimes a bit chaotic.

In any case I started to work with her and she began to relax. However, my partner and she had absolutely no connection. We made the decision to take her back to the shelter.

Due to the feedback I provided them she was fostered, which was a much better outcome for her, and we eventually found Poppy.

So, a difficult decision ended up being a win-win.


I like to think that this cat may also have a positive outcome :)

Thanks for the help. I appreciate you responding. It does make me feel better. I just feel guilty about it and I'm worried I'd be judged for it. So it's nice to hear from others that they have experienced it as well.
 

Furballsmom

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I adopted him from a great organization and they would take him back so he would go to a great home.
They will not judge you. I think they will appreciate you taking the time, and caring enough about him, his welfare and his future to bring him back, in order to give him the opportunity for a home where he finds that connection.
 
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