Considering and overthinking 2nd cat adoption

[ladytimedramon]

Last year I adopted Delilah in the middle of Covid. I was alone and working from home. Since then (despite the medical issues) she's become my darling. Now that I'm back at work full time, I've worried about her being lonely and considered a second cat. And I think I'm overthinking everything around the idea of getting a second cat.

1. It's a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment. Delilah has the run of the apartment except for my walk in bedroom closet.
2. I can't sleep with a cat in my room, so night time she's out of my room. Other than my bathroom and bedroom, everything is sort of a connected L shape.
3. There is really no place to separate cats for an introduction.
4. I know Delilah was bullied by other cats at the shelter.
5. I teach and I'm back in the building. It's just me at home with Delilah so no helpers.
6. Part of my brain is saying get a younger female cat and things will work out (Delilah is 3).
7. Part of my brain is saying wait until summer break when you're home to monitor full time.
8. Part of my brain is saying Winter Break should be long enough.
9. Part of my heart says "cute kitty! Take her home now so Delilah won't be lonely"
10. Part of my heart says "Delilah is enjoying the undivided attention when you're home and won't want to share you."

I feel like I'm in a total jumble over all these thoughts. I could use some other thoughts because my friends are either "go for it everything will work out fine" or "you're turning into a crazy cat lady".

 

[CatladyJan]

Last year I adopted Delilah in the middle of Covid. I was alone and working from home. Since then (despite the medical issues) she's become my darling. Now that I'm back at work full time, I've worried about her being lonely and considered a second cat. And I think I'm overthinking everything around the idea of getting a second cat.

1. It's a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment. Delilah has the run of the apartment except for my walk in bedroom closet.
2. I can't sleep with a cat in my room, so night time she's out of my room. Other than my bathroom and bedroom, everything is sort of a connected L shape.
3. There is really no place to separate cats for an introduction.
4. I know Delilah was bullied by other cats at the shelter.
5. I teach and I'm back in the building. It's just me at home with Delilah so no helpers.
6. Part of my brain is saying get a younger female cat and things will work out (Delilah is 3).
7. Part of my brain is saying wait until summer break when you're home to monitor full time.
8. Part of my brain is saying Winter Break should be long enough.
9. Part of my heart says "cute kitty! Take her home now so Delilah won't be lonely"
10. Part of my heart says "Delilah is enjoying the undivided attention when you're home and won't want to share you."

I feel like I'm in a total jumble over all these thoughts. I could use some other thoughts because my friends are either "go for it everything will work out fine" or "you're turning into a crazy cat lady".

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Your have the bathroom for separation. You may also buy an XL dog crate to put the new kitty into until they both adjust. You can cover the crate and put a box in there so the new kitty has a safe hiding place.

 

[susanm9006]

Adopting a second cat when you have an adult at home can be complicated. It’s wonderful that you are thinking it all through before adopting.

Since you know your girl was bullied at the shelter, she will probably not react well and be frightened of another adult cat. As far as a kitten, maybe not, but even if she is okay with a kitten, you cannot predict what their relationship would be as the kitten becomes an adult. If she were mine, based on this I wouldn’t add a second cat.

Also, I think you are wrong that she would be lonely while you were out. Most cats simply snooze away the day and at three her routines are more Important than your presence. She will certainly notice your absence but will in all liklihood adjust to it pretty easily.

Even if you learn towards another cat I would at least wait until you are back to work for a month or two to see how she is doing. Maybe invest in a video cam so you can look in on her and see how she is doing in your absence.

 

[GreyLady]

I think if I was you I would get a kitten so its easier and do it over winter break. I introduced cats in a 1 bedroom apartment just fine using my bedroom as the home base.

 

[rubysmama]

First off, I just have to say that Delilah is pawsitively adorable.

As for getting a second cat, as a fellow over-thinker I understand you giving so much thought to everything. Here's a short TCS article that might be helpful: Your Second Cat: How To Choose The Best Friend For Kitty – TheCatSite Articles

As for separating and introducing them, your bathroom would be fine. Especially if the new cat is a kitten. And adult cats generally accept kittens faster than another adult cat. However, kittens do have a tendency to want to play with the adult cat, which isn't always something the adult cat is interested in.

You may have already read these, but here's the TCS articles on introducing cats, for reference.
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide | TheCatSite
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat | TheCatSite

Plus:
The Multi-cat Household | TheCatSite

Good luck with your decision. Let us know what you end up deciding to do.

 

[ArtNJ]

I couldn't get a bathroom to work as an isolation room. Kitten darting out the door is a huge isssue, and close to impossible if you get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (I always do, but its hard regardless).

You mentioned that age of your current cat (3 y.o.) as a positive, and it is! However, you do start to see a lot more problems as the resident cat gets over two years of age. Three is better than thirteen (of course!) but unfortunately there is still a chance of lasting problems.

If you have no way to do an intro of several weeks I wouldn't go forward, even with a kitten. With a kitten, when you are off work, you could try skipping the intro and see how it goes. Sometimes its pretty easy! My 4 y.o. I only isolated the kitten for two days, and then did a test. My 4 y.o. seemed very curious despite some hissing, so I allowed them unlimited interaction. The hissing was gone within a few days and they were off to the races having tons of fun playing. But sometimes its *much* harder, and I really feel like you need a backup plan! Even if that is returning the new cat.

 

[ladytimedramon]

I couldn't get a bathroom to work as an isolation room. Kitten darting out the door is a huge issue, and close to impossible if you get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (I always do, but its hard regardless).

You mentioned that age of your current cat (3 y.o.) as a positive, and it is! However, you do start to see a lot more problems as the resident cat gets over two years of age. Three is better than thirteen (of course!) but unfortunately there is still a chance of lasting problems.

If you have no way to do an intro of several weeks I wouldn't go forward, even with a kitten. With a kitten, when you are off work, you could try skipping the intro and see how it goes. Sometimes its pretty easy! My 4 y.o. I only isolated the kitten for two days, and then did a test. My 4 y.o. seemed very curious despite some hissing, so I allowed them unlimited interaction. The hissing was gone within a few days and they were off to the races having tons of fun playing. But sometimes its *much* harder, and I really feel like you need a backup plan! Even if that is returning the new cat.

I'm worried about the bathroom too, since that's been Delilah's base since I adopted her. Plus walking to the bathroom with my eyes half closed.

The only time I have several weeks of me there is summer break (about 2 months long), which is why I'm trying to hold out that long, but the urge is strong, and I don't know if I'd be as lucky. Its not like bringing dogs together for a meet and greet.

I've read about using something called "the crate method" but I've never seen anyone here discussing it.

 

[fionasmom]

I love Delilah! My cat Zoe, long gone, used to wear my necklaces.

The crate method is used much more commonly for dogs and I have never used it for a cat, in fact, only very briefly for a dog. It means that someone stays in a crate for up to 8 hours a day. It has to be a large enough crate so that all the animal's needs can be met comfortably. I have only ever crated very tiny sick kittens who were found abandoned and then only until I knew that they were healthy enough to mix with the others. Given that my dogs are GSDs, the crate I used for the kitten was probably like a stadium to it and it was comfortable.

You asked very good questions and all of them are logical, not to mention there are a lot of good responses to consider. Because all of my pets have been strays or ferals, all in a situation of get them off the street now, I often brought completely unfamiliar cats into the house, but I do have spare rooms for them which would impact nothing else going on in the house.

I lean toward the fact that cats are solitary and Delilah might be very happy just to have a nice place to sleep for the day, and that this might be better if you were at least able to be around to supervise and observe.

 

[ladytimedramon]

Thanks

This is actually the information I saw about the crate method. I think the crates they're talking about are almost more like giant playpens or enclosed cat trees.

Introducing a new cat - the crate method - Adopt-a-Pet.com Blog

 

[fionasmom]

It looks to me as if the crates they are talking about all have tops on them which is what you would need to leave the cats all day. In fact, the big crate I use is exactly like the one in the picture that the white kitty is holding onto....and with those you do want to duct tape suspicious edges.

 

[ladytimedramon]

I was a total panicky mess when I adopted Delilah in the first place, so I researched a bunch of stuff out. Since it was before I found this site, I also made a bunch of online cat owning friends crazy. Major life items I try to make sure I'm ready, and a new pet is a major life change.

Delilah has developed a new way of greeting me when I get home. Sitting on her cat tree next to her wet food bowl meowing pitifully (even though she just had kibble from her timed feeder about 30 minutes earlier)

 

[Neko-chan's mama]

That stance and expression is just like my cat's when I come home. I always equated it to "how dare you leave for so long? I didn't have anyone to play with!" However , Neko-chan is more play driven than food driven.