Confessions of an American Cat Huffer

lavishsqualor

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They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so . . . .

Hello, my name is Lavish Squalor and I have a problem.

Last night I went to dinner with a group of friends, one of whom had recently been dumped. To pamper herself and allay any feelings of impending spinsterdom, she had splurged and bought a ridiculously expensive bottle of Bond No 9 perfume. All night long she kept shoving her wrist in my face and insisting in a brash drunken voice--"SMELL ME! SMELL ME!"

Well, the more alcohol she consumed the worse it got, and the more alcohol I consumed the shorter my patience grew. When she tried thrusting her appendage under my nose one too many times, I batted her away and yelled out, "OH MY GOD, STOP! JUST STOP! My freakin' cat smells better than your damn wrist!"

Needless to say, such an unusual declaration certainly drew the attention of the table.

The thing is, god help me, it’s true.

I don't know what it is, but Atticus, my nine-month-old grey tabby kitten, smells completely and utterly delicious. I can spend hour after hour with my nose buried in his fur, just breathing in the intoxicating, nutty, clean fragrance of his cold fur.

Er, naturally, this is a somewhat illicit act and not one that I would indulge in while in the company of others. But given the amount of alcohol we'd all imbibed and the scandalous nature of my declaration, we all ended up back at my house passing poor Atticus around like the drug he is.

Curiously enough, two people thought that he just smelled like any other cat, while the other three in our party smelled precisely what I smell. One person claimed he smelled like sun-warmed butternut squash growing in a garden, while the other took a big whiff and exclaimed, "Oh my god, he smells like a newborn baby!" (I had to check that one's purse before she left.)

As if this admission of cat huffing weren’t bad enough, my partner, who has no idea of my particular penchant, happened to walk in last night while we were all sitting in a collective drunken sprawl, saying things like, “No, no, no, you’re not sniffing in the right spot! You gotta’ sniff him there.” None of us saw my better half walk in, so god only knows what he thought we were doing.

Now that I’m out of the closet (yet once again), I’m wondering if any of you have delicious smelling cats too.

Surely, I can’t be totally alone in this.
 
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margd

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LOL!!! [emoji]128514[/emoji]. I can just imagine you all playing pass the cat! And he put up with it? What a good boy!

To answer your question: I also once had a cat with a wonderful scent. My old Wesley smelled warm and cosy and like sunshine - your friend's description of the sunny garden of butternut squash is exactly right. None of my other cats have had a noticeable scent but Wesley's really was heavenly. I also used to bury my face in his fur sometimes, so you are not alone.

Do we need to start a 12 step program? Or bottle this fragrance and make a fortune?
 
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lavishsqualor

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Yay, I'm not alone!  I'm so glad to hear that!

And you'll never get me into treatment!  No 12 Step for Lavish.  I plan on huffing Atticus for a very, very long time.

In all honesty though, I wonder why some cats really do smell so fantastic?  As lovely as my female cat Thirteen is, she just smells like, well, cat.  Atticus, though, now that's another story!
 

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Hilarious post, dude. I love the image of a group of adults, passing around a cat and taking deep sniffs.

I can't say I huff my cat, but when he "grooms" me I'm always impressed by the absence of smell, in other words how clean he keeps himself. Unfortunately, his bowel movements are horrific: I can clean the litter box twice a day, and still it looks like the aftermath of the Afghan war every time I lift the lid -- poop jutting out from the litter at odd angles, like bombed-out battle tanks half-buried under the desert sand; mountainous urine clumps that look like the Great Pyramids before British archaeologists spent decades unearthing them; litter shoveled against the sides of the box, like wind-swept sand dunes; more particulate matter hanging in the air than the Arabian desert after a dust storm.

So I went and bought Fresh Step litter, and now Bud smells like fresh laundry, which isn't good. I figure if I can smell it, to him it must be a hundred times more potent, and I don't want to make my little Buddy uncomfortable or sick from overly perfumed litter. I have to find a happy medium...
 

margd

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Hilarious post, dude. I love the image of a group of adults, passing around a cat and taking deep sniffs.

I can't say I huff my cat, but when he "grooms" me I'm always impressed by the absence of smell, in other words how clean he keeps himself. Unfortunately, his bowel movements are horrific: I can clean the litter box twice a day, and still it looks like the aftermath of the Afghan war every time I lift the lid -- poop jutting out from the litter at odd angles, like bombed-out battle tanks half-buried under the desert sand; mountainous urine clumps that look like the Great Pyramids before British archaeologists spent decades unearthing them; litter shoveled against the sides of the box, like wind-swept sand dunes; more particulate matter hanging in the air than the Arabian desert after a dust storm.

So I went and bought Fresh Step litter, and now Bud smells like fresh laundry, which isn't good. I figure if I can smell it, to him it must be a hundred times more potent, and I don't want to make my little Buddy uncomfortable or sick from overly perfumed litter. I have to find a happy medium...
Your litter box description is Great Literature. [emoji]128077[/emoji]
 
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lavishsqualor

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[P]oop jutting out from the litter at odd angles, like bombed-out battle tanks half-buried under the desert sand; mountainous urine clumps that look like the Great Pyramids before British archaeologists spent decades unearthing them; litter shoveled against the sides of the box, like wind-swept sand dunes; more particulate matter hanging in the air than the Arabian desert after a dust storm.

Plan, my friend, that has got to be the most epic description of a litter box EVER written.
 

plan

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[P]oop jutting out from the litter at odd angles, like bombed-out battle tanks half-buried under the desert sand; mountainous urine clumps that look like the Great Pyramids before British archaeologists spent decades unearthing them; litter shoveled against the sides of the box, like wind-swept sand dunes; more particulate matter hanging in the air than the Arabian desert after a dust storm.

Plan, my friend, that has got to be the most epic description of a litter box EVER written.
Your litter box description is Great Literature. [emoji]128077[/emoji]
Hah thanks guys. My mom was absolutely mystified after taking care of Bud one weekend. I believe her words were "How does all THAT come out of a cat so small?"

But Lavish, you've got some serious writing talent too, brother. I lol'd at the bit about checking your friend's purse before she left...you never know when the cat thieves will strike.
 

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What a fun thread!! Very talented and creative writers here too!

I am a cat huffer.......


My cat Krissy is chubby and spongey, and has the softest bunny fur I have ever felt on a cat, ever. (true story!)

Sometimes I pick her up and put her to my face and bury it in the softness and smell, over and over.

Or during the night, after my midnight bathroom run, climb back in bed and bury my head on her, which makes her purr like a coffee grinder, with a bubbling pigeon coo tone to it, and can't stop inhaling her freshness and scent. 

Haha, I can never get enough. She puts up with it too. Mom's at it again......
 
 

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They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so . . . .

 Hello, my name is Lavish Squalor and I have a problem.

Last night I went to dinner with a group of friends, one of whom had recently been dumped.  To pamper herself and allay any feelings of impending spinsterdom, she had splurged and bought a ridiculously expensive bottle of Bond No 9 perfume.  All night long she kept shoving her wrist in my face and insisting in a brash drunken voice--"SMELL ME!  SMELL ME!"

Well, the more alcohol she consumed the worse it got, and the more alcohol I consumed the shorter my patience grew.  When she tried thrusting her appendage under my nose one too many times, I batted her away and yelled out, "OH MY GOD, STOP!  JUST STOP! My  freakin' cat smells better than your damn wrist!" 

Needless to say, such an unusual declaration certainly drew the attention of the table. 

The thing is, god help me, it’s true.

I don't know what it is, but Atticus, my nine-month-old grey tabby kitten, smells completely and utterly delicious.  I can spend hour after hour with my nose buried in his fur, just breathing in the intoxicating, nutty, clean fragrance of his cold fur. 

Er, naturally, this is a somewhat illicit act and not one that I would indulge in while in the company of others. But given the amount of alcohol we'd all imbibed and the scandalous nature of my declaration, we all ended up back at my house passing poor Atticus around like the drug he is. 

Curiously enough, two people thought that he just smelled like any other cat, while the other three in our party smelled precisely what I smell.  One person claimed he smelled like sun-warmed butternut squash growing in a garden, while the other took a big whiff and exclaimed, "Oh my god, he smells like a newborn baby!"  (I had to check that one's purse before she left.)

As if this admission of cat huffing weren’t bad enough, my partner, who has no idea of my particular penchant, happened to walk in last night while we were all sitting in a collective drunken sprawl, saying things like, “No, no, no, you’re not sniffing in the right spot!  You gotta’ sniff him there.”  None of us saw my better half walk in, so god only knows what he thought we were doing.

Now that I’m out of the closet (yet once again), I’m wondering if any of you have delicious smelling cats too.

Surely, I can’t be totally alone in this.
  

Yep, I'm a cat huffer, too, and proud of it.   
    I love the way my kitties smell--I think they smell like newly-bathed babies!   
 

donutte

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I used to just stick my face in Lucky's belly and take a deep sniff all the time! He had such a sweet, awesome smell about him. Even toward the end (end-stage renal failure can cause unpleasant smells) that sweet, beautiful smell was there. I am not sure how to describe it. The closest thing I can think of is baby powder, but not overwhelming baby powder. It was perfect, and I too often wondered, "Do I need a 12-step group or something?" :lol3:

I think he's the only one that ever let me do that. Maple and Sara would be absolutely horrified if I tried that. Oscar just looks at me like he can't believe what I'm doing before meowing and running away. Haven't tried it yet with Penelopy yet. Oliver I may have, but I don't remember any particular smell with him. Obviously I've only huffed him a couple of times, haha.
 

catwoman707

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I used to just stick my face in Lucky's belly and take a deep sniff all the time! He had such a sweet, awesome smell about him. Even toward the end (end-stage renal failure can cause unpleasant smells) that sweet, beautiful smell was there. I am not sure how to describe it. The closest thing I can think of is baby powder, but not overwhelming baby powder. It was perfect, and I too often wondered, "Do I need a 12-step group or something?"


I think he's the only one that ever let me do that. Maple and Sara would be absolutely horrified if I tried that. Oscar just looks at me like he can't believe what I'm doing before meowing and running away. Haven't tried it yet with Penelopy yet. Oliver I may have, but I don't remember any particular smell with him. Obviously I've only huffed him a couple of times, haha.
That's hilarious, I can picture them each with their own reactions!  
 

MoochNNoodles

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Last week Mooch was "backed up" and then Noodles got the runs.  She lays on the back of the couch near my head and she was just pooting away....  

So there is definitely NO cat huffing going on in this house! 


Ok so normally Mooch does smell nice; but I don't think I've ever huffed her.  She used to sleep on my chest; even when full grown, so I got enough of a face full of fur that way.  Noodle is the kind that if you sniff her like that; you will have fuzzy fur up your nose for days.  You'll also got a foot to the forehead and she'll look at you like you've offended all of cat-kind.  Also like you should probably check your shoes before you put them on. 
 That's Noodles. 
 

fyllis

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Who can resist nuzzling your face in a cats belly and breathing deeply? OMG! 

And, I have to admit, I can't resist the sweet smell of a cats' feet! 

View media item 322628
"I have two cats made of fluff.
I just can't resist smelling that stuff!
And there is nothing so sweet
As the smell of their feet!
I'm addicted and, YES! I HUFF!"


View media item 299821
 

margd

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Who can resist nuzzling your face in a cats belly and breathing deeply? OMG! 
And, I have to admit, I can't resist the sweet smell of a cats' feet! 
View media item 322628

"I have two cats made of fluff.

I just can't resist smelling that stuff!

And there is nothing so sweet

As the smell of their feet!

I'm addicted and, YES! I HUFF!"



View media item 299821
Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! [emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji]

I love everything about this post! It seems your talent in photographing beautiful cats is equalled by your creative writing skills. [emoji]128077[/emoji]

Feet, eh? I've never tried that but now I'm curious...
 

lmfurryfriends

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Hilarious post, dude. I love the image of a group of adults, passing around a cat and taking deep sniffs.

I can't say I huff my cat, but when he "grooms" me I'm always impressed by the absence of smell, in other words how clean he keeps himself. Unfortunately, his bowel movements are horrific: I can clean the litter box twice a day, and still it looks like the aftermath of the Afghan war every time I lift the lid -- poop jutting out from the litter at odd angles, like bombed-out battle tanks half-buried under the desert sand; mountainous urine clumps that look like the Great Pyramids before British archaeologists spent decades unearthing them; litter shoveled against the sides of the box, like wind-swept sand dunes; more particulate matter hanging in the air than the Arabian desert after a dust storm.

So I went and bought Fresh Step litter, and now Bud smells like fresh laundry, which isn't good. I figure if I can smell it, to him it must be a hundred times more potent, and I don't want to make my little Buddy uncomfortable or sick from overly perfumed litter. I have to find a happy medium...
I have found a litter made from pecan or Walnut shells at petsmart. It works great and tracks less. My vet once told me to stay away from the litters that have perfume smells as they smell much better than we do.
 
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Norachan

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I just huffed Carpet. She's been out running around the enclosure and must have taken a nap in the shelter too. She smells of clean mountain air and straw.

There is a down side to cats too though........

Some of my boy cats are having a power struggle at the moment and have been spraying inside the house. Driving me crazy! I walk around with a box of tissues in one hand and a bottle of enzyme cleaner in the other. I think I might be getting a little too worked up about it. When Mr Husband got home last night he had to remind me that. "Tell me honestly now. Does this place smell of pee?" is not the best way to great ones spouse when he walks through the door.

 

Winchester

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I just huffed Carpet. She's been out running around the enclosure and must have taken a nap in the shelter too. She smells of clean mountain air and straw.

There is a down side to cats too though........

Some of my boy cats are having a power struggle at the moment and have been spraying inside the house. Driving me crazy! I walk around with a box of tissues in one hand and a bottle of enzyme cleaner in the other. I think I might be getting a little too worked up about it. When Mr Husband got home last night he had to remind me that. "Tell me honestly now. Does this place smell of pee?" is not the best way to great ones spouse when he walks through the door.

 My sister is going through that right now with two of her boys. One has been a long-time sprayer and we think the other one started doing it, simply because of the first one spraying. Both boys have been to vet and they're fine. So whatever is going on, it's something between the two of them. Anyway, she called me the other night. I said, "Hello" and she said, "Come over and smell my house!" 
 I know it's not funny; we lived through Hydrox's spraying when he was alive, but just the way she said that made me smile.

As for the huffing, guilty. I used to love to stick my head in Banshee's belly and just breathe. Honestly, she smelled so good. And I can't tell you how many times I'd awaken in the middle of the night with my nose in her belly and her paws wrapped around my head. Molli smells good, too, but she won't let me sniff her belly....she always gets the "What the heck are you doing to me?" look when I try.
 
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