Chai Kitty

rubysmama

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I'm so glad you found people in your real world who understand cats the way those of us in your cyber-world do.
Hopefully you'll be able to continue working with them, and fulfilling your desire to help cats.:petcat:
 
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rosegold

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It’s less than three weeks until the anniversary of Chai’s death. It’s hard to even think about, and it’s just so so sad. :(

Recently I stumbled upon this huge Facebook group of people who care for street cats all across Korea. On a whim, I was looking through the posts... sure enough, September 2017, there it was... the original post about Chai. I’d seen the one her rescuers made after they got her, on another website, but I’d never seen this before. The woman who posted this was sent the photo by a friend who lived in that town and had seen Chai on the street, and who had taken that photo of her with the bone sticking out of her leg. This kind woman posted the photo on the street cat group and begged someone to help rescue her.

I was scrolling through the comments... Although it was a remote area and it took a while to find actual rescuers, there were hundreds of urgent comments bumping up the post, tagging people, networking, brainstorming ideas and plans, updating and asking for updates, sharing the post, calling phone numbers, figuring out how to raise funds, getting directions, and worrying about my little cat. It honestly made me so emotional to see that. I am so unbelievably grateful to every single one of those people, even those who simply bumped up the post, for helping save my girl. On the memorial post that the rescuers made, I recognized some of the very same names, people who were saying they remembered Chai from the beginning and were mourning for her too.

I was sad tonight, and watching old videos of Chai... really needed something to cheer me up but I was just getting sadder and sadder. As I was doing so, Clove suddenly jumped up by the window and started meowing frantically at the outside. To my surprise I looked up and saw a tiny snowflake! I put down my phone and watched the first snow with my cats for a while (they were very excited!), and it genuinely made me feel better. Thank you, Chai, if you made that snowflake happen for me.
 

Antonio65

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I am so unbelievably grateful to every single one of those people, even those who simply bumped up the post, for helping save my girl. On the memorial post that the rescuers made, I recognized some of the very same names, people who were saying they remembered Chai from the beginning and were mourning for her too.
It sounds like people over there are very caring about street cats!
I would have never imagined that. That is lovely.
 

rubysmama

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Do you realize how much Chai was loved during her short life. First all the rescuers who, it sounds like, practically moved heaven and earth to rescue her. Then, of course, you, who fell in love with her. Then her feline sibling, Chilli. And, lastly, us here on TCS. That dear, sweet cat had a terrible start to her life, and a much too short happy ending, but she absolutely was loved. :hearthrob: And will be remembered by many for a long, long time. :hearthrob: :angel: :hearthrob:
 

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It’s less than three weeks until the anniversary of Chai’s death. It’s hard to even think about, and it’s just so so sad. :(

Recently I stumbled upon this huge Facebook group of people who care for street cats all across Korea. On a whim, I was looking through the posts... sure enough, September 2017, there it was... the original post about Chai. I’d seen the one her rescuers made after they got her, on another website, but I’d never seen this before. The woman who posted this was sent the photo by a friend who lived in that town and had seen Chai on the street, and who had taken that photo of her with the bone sticking out of her leg. This kind woman posted the photo on the street cat group and begged someone to help rescue her.

I was scrolling through the comments... Although it was a remote area and it took a while to find actual rescuers, there were hundreds of urgent comments bumping up the post, tagging people, networking, brainstorming ideas and plans, updating and asking for updates, sharing the post, calling phone numbers, figuring out how to raise funds, getting directions, and worrying about my little cat. It honestly made me so emotional to see that. I am so unbelievably grateful to every single one of those people, even those who simply bumped up the post, for helping save my girl. On the memorial post that the rescuers made, I recognized some of the very same names, people who were saying they remembered Chai from the beginning and were mourning for her too.

I was sad tonight, and watching old videos of Chai... really needed something to cheer me up but I was just getting sadder and sadder. As I was doing so, Clove suddenly jumped up by the window and started meowing frantically at the outside. To my surprise I looked up and saw a tiny snowflake! I put down my phone and watched the first snow with my cats for a while (they were very excited!), and it genuinely made me feel better. Thank you, Chai, if you made that snowflake happen for me.
It might be a good tribute to Chai if you posted on that group and let them know how things turned out for her.
 

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The days and months leading up to anniversaries are very rough. (I lost my Vincie girl on 26 August so it will be 3 months in a few weeks.) Your Chai was one in a million. There is no if when it comes to that snowflake, it was her!!! How sweet of Clove to show you what Chai had done. I am very sorry you lost her but you gave her an amazing life while she was here.💖👼

Love,

Mia
xxxx
 
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rosegold

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It’s been one year today since Chai left. I thought I would have a lot of extra grief to endure today... but I don’t really. I miss her just the same amount today as I do every day. I’m actually relieved to have this day finally here, so it can pass... It marks the last “first” anniversary that I have to deal with.

I spent today just home with Chilli and Clove, focusing on self-care and spending quality time with my cats. In all the anxiety and paranoia that resulted from losing Chai, I often forget to just enjoy my cats, without worrying about them in one way or another, so it’s been really nice to just be with them and play with them. Crying if I need to, but having the cats to cheer me up. My two beloved old dogs (living back home with my parents) are both having health issues, one of them quite serious with a heart issue that means he could die suddenly at any time :( so it’s hard to sort of deal with the anticipatory grief of losing them at the same time that I’m remembering losing Chai. But Clove is making me laugh with her silliness and her energy, and Chilli has come and snuggled on my chest so many times today (bless her). So I’m just taking it moment by moment.

I think it’s what Chai would have wanted, to just spend a quiet day at home. I think if she could talk, she’d tell me that grief is not a quota I’m required to fill to equal the amount of love I had for her (because if it was, I could never possibly fill it).

I feel increasingly grateful, lucky, and awed that - in all the huge vastness of time and space, in this tiny short life I have and the much shorter life that she had - that we somehow found each other and got to be together. It’s been a profound and emotional experience that I certainly never expected to go through in my mid-20s, but despite the immense heartache, I’m so thankful that it happened. To say she changed my life is such a vast understatement. I think I’m filled with love, more than grief, today.

I’ll just leave some photos of Chai here. (I probably have already put some of them on here, but that’s okay.)
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di and bob

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Each anniversary will be filled with a little less pain and a little more of that love. My Chrissy will be gone for 7 years tomorrow, and though I can relive that horrible day as if it was yesterday, my heart doesn't hurt quite as bad........
Just love those that surround you today, don't let your hurting heart take away one moment of the love that is here right now. Don't let the pain prevent you from fully embracing the love that is being sent your way. You will forever have Chai's sweet memory even while making more memories of your own. Bless you for being there for all of them...........
 

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I think it’s what Chai would have wanted, to just spend a quiet day at home. I think if she could talk, she’d tell me that grief is not a quota I’m required to fill to equal the amount of love I had for her (because if it was, I could never possibly fill it).

I feel increasingly grateful, lucky, and awed that - in all the huge vastness of time and space, in this tiny short life I have and the much shorter life that she had - that we somehow found each other and got to be together. It’s been a profound and emotional experience that I certainly never expected to go through in my mid-20s, but despite the immense heartache, I’m so thankful that it happened. To say she changed my life is such a vast understatement. I think I’m filled with love, more than grief, today.
From how you've been describing Chai I'm sure you are right in saying it's how she'd want you to remember her today, and if that's what today was like when you were expecting worse then there's no reason every day that comes after can't be a little better. She may not be here but Chili and Clove are, remember Chai but focus on them.

For some reason I can't stop laughing at her expression in this one. It's like she's saying "A dirty sock! AND IT'S ALL MINE!"
 
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rosegold

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For some reason I can't stop laughing at her expression in this one. It's like she's saying "A dirty sock! AND IT'S ALL MINE!"
I know. The cutest little loaf.
 
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rosegold

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I’ve taken to screenshotting old videos of Chai occasionally as a way to have “new” pictures of her. It sounds kind of silly, but it really brings me a lot of comfort. It’s like being able to capture her essence in the moment in a new way all over again, even though the photo quality isn’t very good.

I thought I would share this one. It’s so cute and angelic looking. It’s like she sent me a selfie from kitty heaven... Aww. It’s sweet to think that Chai’s version of kitty heaven is probably just my small, messy house. :hearthrob:

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I like that, actually. Maybe I should stop viewing my house as my house, and start viewing it as “Chai’s favorite place.” And myself as “Chai’s favorite person.” :hearthrob:
 

tarasgirl06

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I’ve taken to screenshotting old videos of Chai occasionally as a way to have “new” pictures of her. It sounds kind of silly, but it really brings me a lot of comfort. It’s like being able to capture her essence in the moment in a new way all over again, even though the photo quality isn’t very good.

I thought I would share this one. It’s so cute and angelic looking. It’s like she sent me a selfie from kitty heaven... Aww. It’s sweet to think that Chai’s version of kitty heaven is probably just my small, messy house. :hearthrob:

View attachment 316549Not

I like that, actually. Maybe I should stop viewing my house as my house, and start viewing it as “Chai’s favorite place.” And myself as “Chai’s favorite person.” :hearthrob:
:loveeyes: :hearthrob: Not "silly" at all, rosegold rosegold ! Our loved ones should always stay in our hearts and souls. I have lots of pictures of many of my beloved cats going back to 35mm times, and lots on my computer and in my phone. Looking at them brings back cherished memories and of course sometimes I am very sad for the loss of them, but in the end, I am so grateful to have had their presence in my life. I look forward to reuniting with them in due time. And the many places I have lived with them are ALL their homes.
 

tnrmakessense

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I’ve taken to screenshotting old videos of Chai occasionally as a way to have “new” pictures of her. It sounds kind of silly, but it really brings me a lot of comfort. It’s like being able to capture her essence in the moment in a new way all over again, even though the photo quality isn’t very good.

I thought I would share this one. It’s so cute and angelic looking. It’s like she sent me a selfie from kitty heaven... Aww. It’s sweet to think that Chai’s version of kitty heaven is probably just my small, messy house. :hearthrob:

View attachment 316549

I like that, actually. Maybe I should stop viewing my house as my house, and start viewing it as “Chai’s favorite place.” And myself as “Chai’s favorite person.” :hearthrob:
What a great picture. How beautiful and wise she looks. Nothing that makes you feel better in your grief is silly. I'm sure your home was and is her heaven. A place where she was safe, loved, well fed, and had fun.
 
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rosegold

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Missing my sweet girl so much lately. :(

Chilli needs to go get her teeth cleaned, but I’ve been putting it off out of fear that something random and horrible might happen to her, like it did to Chai. What if she dies under anesthesia, what if the stress makes her get FIP, what if something else goes wrong... I already made and cancelled one appointment last month out of anxiety. I finally pushed through the fear and made another appointment... but in the days preceding, I can’t help but wonder if these are the last days I will get with Chilli. I know it’s silly because she’s a healthy cat and teeth cleaning is a routine procedure... but I still feel very helpless and anxious when it comes to my kitties. Like they could die randomly any day, and I can’t do anything at all to protect them. I know that the small risk of something going wrong is worth taking for Chilli’s overall dental health... just trying to convince my anxiety that that’s true. I still deal with a lot of guilt and “what-ifs” over Chai’s death, so I guess I’m just trying to make the right decisions for my current cats, but have lost faith in myself and my ability to make good decisions and to know what the right thing is.
 

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My heart goes out to you. Can you call your vet and ask what they can do to minimize the risk? I believe not using ketamine helps. Either way the vet should be able to tell you what kind of sedatives they use.
 

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I totally get your fear and worries about this. In my area, we have a vet who is a dental specialist and I have started taking my cats there, even just for a cleaning. If you don't have that option available, I think danteshuman's idea of calling the vet is a great one. It can't hurt and you can get some reassurance. If it is the same vet you have used for a while, he will understand.
 

di and bob

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Ask your vet if there is a 'lighter' anesthesia they can use. It doesn't put them under as deep and is less risky then deep anesthesia. Using a vet that knows your cat helps too, they know what problems your cat has that may pose a problem with anesthesia and can be prepared.
 
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