Cats with different 'speeds'

Steph42q

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I adopted 4 year old Kiernan 2 years ago. She's curious, playful, silly, HIGHLY mercurial, and finds people fascinating. Basically the type of cat who loves head rubs, but will signal she's done by nipping. She is very clear with her boundaries, and with her increasingly escalating warnings. She is also very anxious and pretends to act tough when she's scared. She's a social cat who pretends very unsuccessfully to appear aloof. She's a little stinker and an absolute joy!

I adopted 9 month old Ezra Jose (EJ) 2 months ago. He is affectionate, energetic, and has to be in the middle of everything. He's excited about EVERYTHING, and reminds me of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. He's a hilarious goofball and is still definitely just a kid.

EJ and Kiernan are getting along so much better than I thought. EJ really, really, adores Kiernan and wants to be involved in everything she's doing. Kiernan, although she'd never admit it, quite often really likes having EJ around. They engage in genuine play, taking turns chasing each other, pouncing on each other, and wrestling. I'll often find them hanging out on my bed or the couch with less than a foot of space between them. They'll sniff each other's faces and butts with friendly body language. EJ still gets a lot of hisses, growls, and swats, but he deserves probably 90% of it. He's a typical annoying little brother who doesn't always respect Kiernan's warnings.

So with that background, I need some advice on a few issues. Kiernan is the type who will stalk a toy forever before pouncing. When she's given any food, she sniffs it and thinks about it before eating it. EJ, on the other hand, is just the opposite. He does nothing with subtlety. Microchip feeders have helped the food situation a lot, but Kiernan is growing increasingly anxious and defensive when it comes to EJ taking the few treats she gets. She growls, hisses and smacks, but EJ is mostly unfazed. Should I remove treats altogether, or continue as usual to let Kiernan continue asserting her boundaries?

EJ's tendency to dive for a toy without hesitation is frustrating for Kiernan who gets anxious and retreats from playing. Because of this I try to shut EJ in the bedroom and play with Kiernan without him taking over the game. However, EJ starts meowing mournfully, and Kiernan's focus is all on investigating what's going on with EJ. Kiernan plays a lot with EJ, but is left out of wand chasing and and other games which she loves. I have no idea how to give her playtime!

Ms. Mercurial often goes from hissing and growling at EJ one moment, to gleefully playing 'sneak up on the cat in the box' the next. She's definitely become more growly and hissy in the past week. I don't know if that's because she's becoming more anxious, or she's becoming more assertive in her communication with EJ. Any ideas?

kej4.jpg kej1.jpg kej5.jpg
 

susanm9006

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Often adult cats will give kittens a great deal of leeway to be obnoxious but as the kitten gets close to adulthood the adult cat starts asserting themselves and getting tougher with the youngster. Your boy was already half grown when they met but there could still be some change in their relationship because he is older. Or it could just she is just having an off week and he is annoying her more easily.

As far as playing with her without EJ there, I would continue to shut him in a different room but use it as a time to give him a special treat. That will hopefully keep him quiet long enough for your girl to get some play time in .
 
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Steph42q

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I hadn't considered an extra treat, maybe I'll try a few pieces of kitten kibble in a treat ball set with a small hole. That may give us a few minutes. Thanks!
 

molly92

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I'm not super experienced with playful cats (mine would win the lazy olympics), but they sound smart! Perhaps training them each to have their own spot for their treats could help establish some boundaries? No treat if they're not in their own spot, etc.
 

susanm9006

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One other thing about Kiernan and her smacks. If he is ignoring or isn’t fazed by them then she is holding back disciplining him. If she wanted to she could give him a smack to the nose that would stop him in his tracks so despite the noise she is making she is still going easy on him.
 
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Steph42q

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I'm not super experienced with playful cats (mine would win the lazy olympics), but they sound smart! Perhaps training them each to have their own spot for their treats could help establish some boundaries? No treat if they're not in their own spot, etc.
That might work! They definitely pick up on things quickly. (A little too quickly!) And I could use their own favorite perches to help reinforce the idea.
 
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Steph42q

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One other thing about Kiernan and her smacks. If he is ignoring or isn’t fazed by them then she is holding back disciplining him. If she wanted to she could give him a smack to the nose that would stop him in his tracks so despite the noise she is making she is still going easy on him.
That's reassuring! Sometimes he's just so nonchalant when getting bopped repeatedly in the face, it's comical. Maybe she's not as stressed as I think she is.
 

danteshuman

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Is it possible to make treats a two person job? Also I would start training them to get their treats in specific spot for each cat (preferably at least 5 feet away.) then if the other cat goes for the other cat’s treat you can say no or uhuh and if need be block their path. I trained my toy hog and his mellow brother to play together by saying their name when it was their turn to hunt the wand toy. If they went out of turn I took the toy away and play ended for a while. Cats are a whole lot more trainable then most people think!

⭐ I would train them to get on on a different high spot that is 5 feet away. Like the back of a couch, chair or stool, side table or coffee table. That way your naughty youngster has to get down, across the room & get up to try to steal her treat. Plus it gives her the high ground!
 
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Steph42q

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Is it possible to make treats a two person job? Also I would start training them to get their treats in specific spot for each cat (preferably at least 5 feet away.) then if the other cat goes for the other cat’s treat you can say no or uhuh and if need be block their path. I trained my toy hog and his mellow brother to play together by saying their name when it was their turn to hunt the wand toy. If they went out of turn I took the toy away and play ended for a while. Cats are a whole lot more trainable then most people think!

⭐ I would train them to get on on a different high spot that is 5 feet away. Like the back of a couch, chair or stool, side table or coffee table. That way your naughty youngster has to get down, across the room & get up to try to steal her treat. Plus it gives her the high ground!
The high spot idea is really good, thanks!
 
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