Cats semi-fighting/suggestions?

Krienze

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So, I have six cats.
They never fight. But I have two male cats (both fixed) Charlie and Milo who try to instigate play with Mia. Mia's a very laid back cat. She doesn't really like to play unless I'm the one playing with her and while she'll snuggle with the cats from time to time/pass and repass with them and the dogs/eat out of the same bowl with them, she's more of a people cat. She's always been timid, but she's gotten better and more open in the years we've had her. Honestly she's an amazing cat and I love her dearly. She's my snuggle buddy.
But she's extremely dramatic. Milo or Charlie will walk passed her and she'll RIGHT away start hissing at them. They haven't done anything, but she'll react like they're about to. They'll start to engage in play with her which results in them racing around the house with her hissing the entire time in anger.
This usually will last unless I get up and clap at Milo or Charlie, then they'll disperse. They're NEVER aggressive with her. They just chase and I think if she didn't hiss at them, they probably wouldn't even notice her half the time.


Just a few notes:
- They never gang up on her. It's usually either one or the other poking at the bear (Cat) when it happens.
- There has never been actual fighting. Just chasing with her hissing.
- She's not aggressive with any other cat, or them, she just hisses.
- The two males ARE very playful and sometimes I think they don't understand why she won't play with them, they try to engage Sammy sometimes too. But they lose interest in him fast cause he either just runs away and jumps up somewhere to ignore the, or never reacts to begin with.
- Rehoming Mia isn't an option. She's Jasper's sister and very obviously bonded with me.
- Rehoming the other two isn't an option either, honestly. I'd never give up on any of them and it isn't as if the situation is dire. No blood is ever drawn or anything like that, it's not an ACTUAL fight I feel like, but I'd like to find a way to get Mia to relax.
- All cats are fixed
- All the cats are extremely playful when they want to play.
- Mia is about 3 years old, Charlie just turned 1 and Milo is 2. Sammy is 9. (wasn't sure if ages matter. Gracie is 1, Jasper is also 3.)
 

Mamanyt1953

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I doubt you will change this dynamic to any real degree, but what you are doing is just fine. It gives Our Girl a break from the teasing. Since she is annoyed by this, but NOT frightened, keep on keeping on. I know it is frustrating. Now, you can try distracting whichever male is chasing her with a wand toy, as cats respond better to "Not this, but THIS!" better than they do to a flat "NO!" which they often take as a challenge.

Additionally, if Mia will play with a wand toy, I'd give her at least two sessions a day, as the cat of hunting, catching, and "killing" the prey is a wonderful confidence builder. I'll bet the boys would lose a lot of interest in that game if Mia turned around and give them a good swat on occasion!
 
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Krienze

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I doubt you will change this dynamic to any real degree, but what you are doing is just fine. It gives Our Girl a break from the teasing. Since she is annoyed by this, but NOT frightened, keep on keeping on. I know it is frustrating. Now, you can try distracting whichever male is chasing her with a wand toy, as cats respond better to "Not this, but THIS!" better than they do to a flat "NO!" which they often take as a challenge.

Additionally, if Mia will play with a wand toy, I'd give her at least two sessions a day, as the cat of hunting, catching, and "killing" the prey is a wonderful confidence builder. I'll bet the boys would lose a lot of interest in that game if Mia turned around and give them a good swat on occasion!
Playing with Mia was initially what helped her and Jasper, but didn't really seem to help much with Charlie and Milo. I'm assuming it's because they are younger maybe, plus Jasper was from her litter.

I WISH Mia would give them a smack once in awhile, she's no push over. But she hisses and runs off and that seems to be what triggers the chase. The boys honestly I think just want to play, but she doesn't. They leave Sammy alone because they know he'll bop 'em lol
 

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Regarding getting her to relax, I think mamanyt is correct in that this is challenging, and distracting the boys could be a good option. The only other thing I can think of is a calming product or two for her benefit and perhaps some Cat Music.
 
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Krienze

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Update:
Things are getting worse.
They aren't fighting (my cats aren't aggressive with each other) but Mia has started hissing/scampering away from ALL of the cats almost. She hisses/swats at them if they come near her. She doesn't attack, but she acts like they're attacking her even when all they're doing is sitting there/walking by. She tends to hide away on a chair near me most days, but will come out to snuggle me at night. Once she's on my lap, she usually settles down and ignores the other cats if they're near IF they leave her alone, which usually they do - and usually I have Gracie, Sammy and Milo snuggled somewhere with me.

My first thought was that she has some kind of medical condition... but she's eating/drinking like normal and she EATS with them just fine (which is super confusing)
She's also perfectly fine with the humans in the house AND the dogs.

I'm absolutely at a loss. Rehoming her is not an option, she's my love and I know she's bonded to me and likely wouldn't do well being rehomed ANYWAY. I just wanna cry because I want her to not be stressed out x.x
 

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Krienze Krienze Likely, something is happening when you aren't around. (Not fighting but the boys harassing her)

For example, last night Nobel was playing with and swatting at Calcifer. Then, Calcifer flipped over a cardboard box and the box lightly landed next to Nobel. He proceeded to hiss at Calcifer the rest of the night, over innocent things like walking passed him.

I don't know how old Mia is but I would also investigate if she has any arthritis or other issues causing her pain. Nobel has always been drama too, but he's extra grumpy if his arthritis is bad, or formerly when he had a cracked tooth.

Lastly, I would recommend giving her breaks in a room with a door closed. Kind of a semi-reintroduction. That can be you and Mila time where she plays with you and then eats and then takes a nap. Maybe you leave while she does the eating and napping part and get the other two running around for awhile. Cat calming music for when you let her out afterwards.

Lots of treats and/or praise for all cats when there are positive interactions. Treats can be a skritch or a pat. It doesn't have to be a food treat. Why for all cats is that they learn through observation very well also.

When I was introducing a "pets" button, I modeled it by pressing "Pets. Calcifer." And then petting Cal. Magnus caught on right away, probably faster than if I was doing it to him. He pressed "Pets. Magnus." Within the hour. So I praise all positive interactions, though the Calcifer-Nobel relationship is the only one with periodic mixed feelings.
 
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Krienze

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Are you able to set up a wellness check?
I don't really think it's a medical issue so much anymore, given it's only with the cats that she acts that way (and even then she doesn't really 100% act that way with Sammy either.) but yes! I'll def be taking her to the vet when weather is better and my pay hits.

Likely, something is happening when you aren't around. (Not fighting but the boys harassing her)
I don't think this is the case, we're never not home x.x We all work from home except my step dad, so there is always someone around. They've never gotten into a fight other than Milo and Charlie initiating play and chasing her.

I'm gonna try to get a throw away litter box and see about letting her hang out in my room for a bit. We don't have litter boxes in the house anymore - all 7 boxes are in the cat room (spacious room, boxes are lined against the wall and not near food or anything, they don't seem to fight over territory)
 
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Krienze

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I don't know how old Mia is but I would also investigate if she has any arthritis or other issues causing her pain. Nobel has always been drama too, but he's extra grumpy if his arthritis is bad, or formerly when he had a cracked tooth.
quickly adding, Mia's going to be 3 I believe.
She doesn't seem to have any problem moving/eating though and doesn't seem to be in any pain when I poke and prod her x.x
 

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They'll start to engage in play with her which results in them racing around the house with her hissing the entire time in anger.
This usually will last unless I get up and clap at Milo or Charlie, then they'll disperse. They're NEVER aggressive with her
After the second time we had to reintroduce our cats (probably litter mats, almost 2 yo at the time) something similar would happen. There were NEVER hissing at our home, so it was quit upsetting. The situation was Tortie chasing Jean, and when she got her "cornered" Jean would hiss at her. Other times it was during a play/ fight session.

I read here quit a lot that if it's just hissing and nothing else, it's better to be ignored. and it is hard to do so.. but after a while we saw that everything else was normal, and it was just a single "hiss" here and there.. so we tried to ignore it.
I can tell you that today, one year later, there are no more hissing.

So you've got two energy bombs running around and causing chaos - but it seems that there's no real hatred between them, and there's no violence or bloodshed.
I'll say it with a lot of cation - with my limited experience, I think you should just let them be
I certainly don't think there's something to worry about (not to mention rehoming anyone
😲)
 
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Krienze

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After the second time we had to reintroduce our cats (probably litter mats, almost 2 yo at the time) something similar would happen. There were NEVER hissing at our home, so it was quit upsetting. The situation was Tortie chasing Jean, and when she got her "cornered" Jean would hiss at her. Other times it was during a play/ fight session.

I read here quit a lot that if it's just hissing and nothing else, it's better to be ignored. and it is hard to do so.. but after a while we saw that everything else was normal, and it was just a single "hiss" here and there.. so we tried to ignore it.
I can tell you that today, one year later, there are no more hissing.

So you've got two energy bombs running around and causing chaos - but it seems that there's no real hatred between them, and there's no violence or bloodshed.
I'll say it with a lot of cation - with my limited experience, I think you should just let them be
I certainly don't think there's something to worry about (not to mention rehoming anyone
😲)
Def no rehoming. Mia's my girl, I don't think either of us would be okay without the other.
I couldn't rehome the other two either haha. I honestly feel like I have a bond with each cat in a different way and honestly I don't think I'd be me without them, which I know sounds silly x.x

There is never any fights/blood shed but it def is more than just hissing, because Mia will scamper away like one just attacked her but I know for a fact that hasn't happened because I watch her do it with Gracie just sitting there. The thing that makes me sad is she actually used to cuddle with Gracie. =(
 

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our cats (probably litter mats, almost 2 yo at the time)
Littermates, obviously :doh2: stupid auto-correct lol

Mia has started hissing/scampering away from ALL of the cats almost. She hisses/swats at them if they come near her. She doesn't attack, but she acts like they're attacking her even when all they're doing is sitting there/walking by. She tends to hide away on a chair near me most days, but will come out to snuggle me at night.
Could be re-directed-aggression?
Anyhow, as Alldara said earlier - lots of playing sessions (one on one, if you can) and reinforcement to build up her confidence.
With six cats (!) in the house, do you have enough boxes/ tunnels/ other closed places for her to chill?
 
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Krienze

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Littermates, obviously :doh2: stupid auto-correct lol



Could be re-directed-aggression?
Anyhow, as Alldara said earlier - lots of playing sessions (one on one, if you can) and reinforcement to build up her confidence.
With six cats (!) in the house, do you have enough boxes/ tunnels/ other closed places for her to chill?
We have 7 litter boxes (thinking of adding a 8th, mainly to see if any of them like hooded boxes.) but they don't seem to have any litter box related issues. Never have, honest.y
As for cat furniture, she seems to really like hiding in the kitchen on a chair or following me into the livingroom to sit, but we have a LOT of furniture.
We have:
A small cube perch with a spot to sit on top and a spot to go inside
One large cat tree in the living room
One medium sized cat tree in the kitchen
One small cat tree in the office (but she doesn't go in there)
A cat condo with two levels that are wide so a lot of room on the bottom, top and then an open spot to sit at the very top of it, in the hallway.
Then we have the cat room. The cat room is where the litter boxes are, but on the other side of the wall we have three large cat trees lined up next to each other to kind of create a jungle gym.
there are about three cardboard scratchers in the room, two big floofy donut beds (we have more beds out in the house as well) and one large tunnel they can play in.

I never see them fight over territory and they have SO many toys that I've probably spent thousands at this point x.x
 
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Krienze

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minor update:
Hissing/growling is still a thing. Gracie has taken to chasing Mia. I can't tell if the other cats are bullying her or trying to play with her. Most of the time they DO look confused when she reacts the way she does by running and hissing.

Has anyone used
Chamomile litter? I'm debating trying it and was wondering what you guys thought
 
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Krienze

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Things are getting worse.
I have no idea what to do.

I've figured out that it's Gracie, Charlie and Milo that are harassing her only - not Jasper or Sammy.
She stays hidden on her chair in the kitchen, but the problem is when she comes down - the SECOND she does, Gracie or Charlie chase her right back to the chair. It's almost as if they are purposely trying to keep her there.

Milo just chases her whenever.

It got to the point where last night, she pooped on the kitchen floor because she couldn't get to the back where the litter box is. I picked her up and brought her back there and she peed in the box, so it doesn't seem to be a 'i can't hold it' thing but more a 'i can't get there' issue.

I can't put a litter box in the kitchen, there is no way my mother would be okay with that.

I don't know what to do and it's stressing me out. I even resorted to spraying them with water, but it does nothing except chase them away temporarily
 

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You need to find a way to contain her away from the others, with her things, food water litter, maybe in your room or something. Her having to hold her poop and pee, and also the emotional/mental abuse of constantly being chased and cornered in that chair, is incredibly stressful on her.
 
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Krienze

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You need to find a way to contain her away from the others, with her things, food water litter, maybe in your room or something. Her having to hold her poop and pee, and also the emotional/mental abuse of constantly being chased and cornered in that chair, is incredibly stressful on her.
we don't really have a set up for that. My room isn't useable at the moment because it's being used to store stuff until we can fix it up again after the hurricane. So basically the cats have free run of the kitchen, hallway, living room and the cat room. >.<

I did however bring her into the cat room today, she peed when I put her in the box again. I closed the door and set her on top of the cat tree and she stayed in there for awhile with Charlie. They were laying on different rows of the cat tree, him in the hammock - her at the top. Since then, she hasn't seemed to react much to Charlie OR Milo (who was also in and out earlier in the room)

She stayed in the cat room for a few hours, then eventually came back out to her chair. She got down, drank water and ate, then when she saw Gracie started hissing and high tailing it back to her chair. This time I noticed Gracie didn't run at her, Mia runs like crazy whether they chase or not x.x We're home all the time, they have NEVER fought before. I have no idea what could have caused this sudden change.

She's fine with the dogs, humans and Jasper/Sammy. And seems to be okayish with Charlie and Milo now when they don't chase/harass her, which they haven't all day - which is a record. I'm not sure, but maybe her being in the cat room today might have helped.

I bought a feliway diffuser and calming spray, so we're gonna try those. Hopefully it works =(

Edit to add: I also bought a new feather to start playing with them together to see if that helps, since that's how I got her and Jasper to get along.

I played a bit with them tonight. She seemed playful for a bit, going after the feather from her chair, while charlie and milo played at the bottom. She became a bit more hesitant when Gracie showed up, crouched down and stuff, but she played a bit more before I stopped. Gracie seemed more interested in the feather than Mia and there was only one hiss from Mia while we played with the feather with all of them. Is this a good sign, you think?
 
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