Cats not getting along

[everton1987]

hi everyone,

I wondering if anybody could share any knowledge advice about my current situation. My boy cat, Ziggy, recently had a urianry blockage that the vet felt was brought on by stress. It's taken a while as he had complications, but he is now back to full health thankfully and is on both cystophan and urinary food (wet only).

Problem is, I am having ongoing problems in the relationship between him and his sister. They are littermates, a boy and a girl, who have just turned two, both neutered. We have had them since they were kittens, and are indoor cats. They've never really bonded - they don't sleep together, groom each other or rub against each other. They do follow each other to other parts of the house, sometimes sit on the window sill together, but that is really the extent of their interaction.

They have always had disagreements but recently it has got worse. If they are awake and in the same room, my boy (Ziggy) follows her, walks towards her, swipes at her until she runs and then he chases her. Relentlessly. She hisses as soon as he begins to approach. If she runs and he catches her, she howls and growls and spits, and recently, tufts of her hair have been pulled out by him.

EDIT - it's not actually they entire time they are awake. Sometimes they will be together in harmony, for example if an interactive toy in on, or if they find a bug or something to look at. And they sleep in the same room. But it's at least a few hours in the morning, and a few hours again in the evening where it's constant.

For the past year, I've just assumed that he wants to play, and that she doesn't. But it's starting to feel like it's not as playful and innocent as I'd like to think. He has become more relentless and obsessive in his stalking/chasing/approaching, and if awake, will not leave her alone. He never growls or hisses at her, just constantly enters her personal space and waits for her to run so he can pounce.

I've set up a whole separate area in another part of the house where Ziggy is now shut in at night with litter tray and his food and beds etc, but during the day they want to both be in the same room with us. But this is leading to our girl (Molly) hissing maybe 20 times a day, and growling maybe two or three times.

I feel like I've tried everything - feliway (3 of them), zylkene, play sessions, which work to distract him but as soon as you put the toy down he's stalking and chasing again. We've got two cat trees, multiple cardboard boxes and also a huge shelving unit that she could escape to, but it's not helping.

I ask completely reintroduced them over about 4 weeks as Ziggy had to be serperated anyway when he was recovering from being cathatarised. They were better temporarily, but it's not got worse again.

It's been dominating my life for well over a year now, having to play constantly while they are awake to just keep the peace.

I guess I've got a few questions that I'm hoping you guys with experience will be able to help me with.

1. Is he actually being aggressive? I'm starting to think he's being territorial and not just "wanting to play" like I've been telling myself for the past year.

2. Short of separating them when unsupervised, is there anything else I can try? Due to the number of incidents a day now, and also signs her fur is being pulled out if he gets hold of her, I don't trust leaving them alone together.

3. Would they both be happier as only cats? I'm starting to make the very sad realisation that probably, both of them are stressed. And given his urianry promlems, stress is not good for him.

Thanks so much if you've read this far, sorry it is so long. I've been crying for days wondering if the kindest thing would be to find one of them a new home, but I'd really appreciate it other people's opinions before making that agonising decision.

 

[everton1987]

Bump - anybody have any advice or suggestions?

 

[yayi]

It reads like Ziggy is a bully and Molly is trying her best to handle him. Does he pick on her at random or when you are giving attention to Molly? One of my cats pushes away (sometimes chases) another cat that I am petting. She is not as persistent as Ziggy because the others know how to deal with her. She also understands the word NO and I sometimes hiss at her. Have you tried "scolding" Ziggy that way? 

Since they are also in their "teens", I can understand why they are sometimes okay and other times not so okay. But I think that if you are consistent in disciplining Ziggy he will learn to keep off Molly and look for other ways to occupy himself.

 

[red top rescue]

This is often a problem with the male-female personality in cats.  The boys want to play, the girls outgrow it and don't want to be bothered.  She might be happier as an only cat but he would not.  He would be happier with a playmate who likes to play and chase and wrestle with him.  You might consider getting a male kitten, maybe 6 to 8 months old, big enough to play and take care of himself but one used to being with other cats and with a known playful personality.  Rescues can usually find one in their  foster care network, or sometimes people have kittens who have grown up in their homes and they are still looking to find good homes for them.  Then most likely your boys would play with each other and your girl would perch on the window sill and enjoy the view. Alternatively, perhaps you have a friend with a single male cat who might like to adopt your boy as a playmate, and rehoming to a friend is not so heartbreaking since you can watch the cat grow up and see him be happy.

 

[alic23]

hi everyone,

I wondering if anybody could share any knowledge advice about my current situation. My boy cat, Ziggy, recently had a urianry blockage that the vet felt was brought on by stress. It's taken a while as he had complications, but he is now back to full health thankfully and is on both cystophan and urinary food (wet only).

Problem is, I am having ongoing problems in the relationship between him and his sister. They are littermates, a boy and a girl, who have just turned two, both neutered. We have had them since they were kittens, and are indoor cats. They've never really bonded - they don't sleep together, groom each other or rub against each other. They do follow each other to other parts of the house, sometimes sit on the window sill together, but that is really the extent of their interaction.

They have always had disagreements but recently it has got worse. If they are awake and in the same room, my boy (Ziggy) follows her, walks towards her, swipes at her until she runs and then he chases her. Relentlessly. She hisses as soon as he begins to approach. If she runs and he catches her, she howls and growls and spits, and recently, tufts of her hair have been pulled out by him.

EDIT - it's not actually they entire time they are awake. Sometimes they will be together in harmony, for example if an interactive toy in on, or if they find a bug or something to look at. And they sleep in the same room. But it's at least a few hours in the morning, and a few hours again in the evening where it's constant.

For the past year, I've just assumed that he wants to play, and that she doesn't. But it's starting to feel like it's not as playful and innocent as I'd like to think. He has become more relentless and obsessive in his stalking/chasing/approaching, and if awake, will not leave her alone. He never growls or hisses at her, just constantly enters her personal space and waits for her to run so he can pounce.

I've set up a whole separate area in another part of the house where Ziggy is now shut in at night with litter tray and his food and beds etc, but during the day they want to both be in the same room with us. But this is leading to our girl (Molly) hissing maybe 20 times a day, and growling maybe two or three times.

I feel like I've tried everything - feliway (3 of them), zylkene, play sessions, which work to distract him but as soon as you put the toy down he's stalking and chasing again. We've got two cat trees, multiple cardboard boxes and also a huge shelving unit that she could escape to, but it's not helping.

I ask completely reintroduced them over about 4 weeks as Ziggy had to be serperated anyway when he was recovering from being cathatarised. They were better temporarily, but it's not got worse again.

It's been dominating my life for well over a year now, having to play constantly while they are awake to just keep the peace.

I guess I've got a few questions that I'm hoping you guys with experience will be able to help me with.

1. Is he actually being aggressive? I'm starting to think he's being territorial and not just "wanting to play" like I've been telling myself for the past year.

2. Short of separating them when unsupervised, is there anything else I can try? Due to the number of incidents a day now, and also signs her fur is being pulled out if he gets hold of her, I don't trust leaving them alone together.

3. Would they both be happier as only cats? I'm starting to make the very sad realisation that probably, both of them are stressed. And given his urianry promlems, stress is not good for him.

Thanks so much if you've read this far, sorry it is so long. I've been crying for days wondering if the kindest thing would be to find one of them a new home, but I'd really appreciate it other people's opinions before making that agonising decision.

Hi there. I wanted to reply to your post as i feel there are so many similarities between yours and my situation with my 2 cats, and we have seen a vet behaviourist specialist because of this and might be useful me sharing her thoughts.

In my situation, your Ziggy and Molly is like my Shadowfax and Tinkerbell. Shadow is the male and Tinks is female. Tried to integrate them from 3 months and they are niw 1 year old. We too had months of stressful times having to supervise all interaction, distract Shadow from attacking her, by using interactive toys but as soon as we stop he is there stalking and then chasing and attacking her. Yes, there is scratches/bites that break the skin and tufts of fur being pulled out, you get the gist, basically so similiar to Ziggy and Molly.

We thought it was a territorial thing, but the behaviourist reviewed our house and because there are lots of cat friendly items, plenty of resources and they get their own beds, cat trees, water, own litter trays and are fed separately she did not think it was territorial.

She said the manner by which he was attacking her was predatory. Here are the tips she gave: watch the body language, the aggressor stares at other cat, watches every move, stalks, tail wags, chases, bites back of neck, lets go and lets her run away then attacks again, maybe doesn't always let go. Like playing or toying with the prey. The fact that my girl learned to run away every time it happened served to re-enforce her role as prey victim.

This all sounded quite worrying, she said he wasn't doing anything wrong i.e. his behaviour is not bad, it's a natural behavioural instinct, just that he is directing it at the wrong target.

She recommended 3 options. A complete re-introduction done very slowly starting with complete separation; or make him an outdoor cat to try and satisfy his hunting instincts so he does not target her all the time; or re-homing.

Btw my Tinks the girl got so stressed from being attacked she got a nasty bout of cystitis too.

Sometimes as previous poster says it's maybe a personality clash, so many factors contribute to cats not getting along. I hope you find some of this useful given hiw similar bith sets of cats sound. Good luck