Cats no longer interact with me at all

Mechelle Cataneo

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Hello,

Let me start by introducing our babies, Etienne and Grady. We also had Peanut, but he went over the Rainbow Bridge in 2014. I had him before I starting dating my now husband. I got him in 1999, my husband and I started dating in 2001, moved in together in 2004, married in 2005. I got Etienne for my husband a few months before our marriage and we adopted Grady in 2010, so we had 3 healthy kitties and everything was bliss. Peanut was my snuggle baby. Both Grady and Etienne snuggled sometimes, at least sitting on the sofa with me. The snuggle time was divided pretty evenly between my husband and me.
Fast forward to 2017/2018 to current; As far as the babies are concerned, I don’t even live here or exist. Every night while we are downstairs, Etienne squeezes herself beside my husband in his recliner, with Grady settling in on his legs. Sometimes hubs will move one of them to me but so quickly that it’s unreal, they are both back in their spots with him while I look on in sadness. Bedtime is Etienne crawling under the covers to nestle in beside hubs. Grady settles in on his chest. Meanwhile, I make due with my baby sloth stuffie and wish for Peanut’s presence, sleeping in my arms every night, all night. I know cats choose their ‘person’ and it’s clear that lately, for Etienne and Grady, I am in no way their person. I don’t know what has caused the shift but it breaks my heart. I know I can’t change how they react to me now, but I just wanted to commiserate with anyone else experiencing the same. Could it have been something I’ve done? I don’t understand and don’t know what it is that I’ve done to push them away. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you, Mechelle Cateneo.
 

game misconduct

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treats! more treats from your hand healthy type ones.stuffie ? as in stuffed animal??:(thats discouraging my gf has a build a bear she has had the entire 15 years we been together:lol:guess that bears forecever gonna be a lump under my back to wake up to
 

japam

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Have you recently changed any of your grooming products or your diet, also get yourself checked by your doctor[this, as trival as it sounds, is paramount] , i have watched a cat colony sniff a sick cat, squirm and quickly move away.
 

dustydiamond1

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Hello,

Let me start by introducing our babies, Etienne and Grady. We also had Peanut, but he went over the Rainbow Bridge in 2014. I had him before I starting dating my now husband. I got him in 1999, my husband and I started dating in 2001, moved in together in 2004, married in 2005. I got Etienne for my husband a few months before our marriage and we adopted Grady in 2010, so we had 3 healthy kitties and everything was bliss. Peanut was my snuggle baby. Both Grady and Etienne snuggled sometimes, at least sitting on the sofa with me. The snuggle time was divided pretty evenly between my husband and me.
Fast forward to 2017/2018 to current; As far as the babies are concerned, I don’t even live here or exist. Every night while we are downstairs, Etienne squeezes herself beside my husband in his recliner, with Grady settling in on his legs. Sometimes hubs will move one of them to me but so quickly that it’s unreal, they are both back in their spots with him while I look on in sadness. Bedtime is Etienne crawling under the covers to nestle in beside hubs. Grady settles in on his chest. Meanwhile, I make due with my baby sloth stuffie and wish for Peanut’s presence, sleeping in my arms every night, all night. I know cats choose their ‘person’ and it’s clear that lately, for Etienne and Grady, I am in no way their person. I don’t know what has caused the shift but it breaks my heart. I know I can’t change how they react to me now, but I just wanted to commiserate with anyone else experiencing the same. Could it have been something I’ve done? I don’t understand and don’t know what it is that I’ve done to push them away. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you, Mechelle Cateneo.
:alright::grouphug::grouphug2::vibes::vibes::redheartpump:
Do they like to be brushed? Will they play with you? As suggested trade treats for allowing you to pet them. Two healthier ones Gypsy loves are the Sheba brand Meat sticks and Inaba Churu. I order mine online. Our local Walmart carries the Sheba meat sticks.
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arr

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You are not alone. It’s the same thing in my house. Im the one who feeds the cats, brushes their teeth, does clicker training, plays with them, gives treats. The only job my husband is in charge of is cleaning the litter boxes. Then every night the three cats are all struggling to fit into his lap while I’m sitting on the same couch with no cat. My husband thinks it’s because he is much warmer than me, I’m always cold. And you know how cats like heat. It’s a possibility.

I have two suggestions. First, don’t try so hard. It actually makes cats avoid you even more. Just let them be. Second, try to get over it emotionally. I no longer take it personally. Whatever their reasons are, they have their reasons and I respect that. I just snuggle up to my husband and pet the cats while they are on his lap.
 

kghia

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I'm sure your cats know you exist and still love you - they just prefer your husband. My two older cats also prefers my husband. This is because I tend to be the one that grooms them and do things they don't like - things my husband isn't comfortable doing like clip their claws, bathe them when they are too dirty, brush their teeth (when we were still trying to do that...), put them in their carrier when they need to go to the vet, etc.

I agree with arr on so many different points - my husband is warmer than I am, and has more "girth" to support the cats. He can often have our larger cat on his lap no problem but when she does choose to cuddle up to me, she wobbles around on my lap because my legs aren't quite wide enough to support her. I also can't seem to ever truly sit still so a cat rarely has enough time to fall asleep on me and stay there for more than a few minutes.

You have some really good suggestions here with treats, playtime, and brushing... another thing is send them kisses across the room and slow blink at them. I do this to scared cats at the shelter I volunteer at before approaching them to let them know I'm not there to hurt them and it seems to make them warm up to me faster. I do that to my cats from across the room also. If you're feeling apprehensive/disappointed, your kitties may pick up on that emotion as well and avoid you.
 
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Mechelle Cataneo

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Thank you to everyone for the suggestions and support. I will certainly try them and work on myself in not taking it personally. Also, going to get a physical at the doctor. Again, thank you! Mechelle Cataneo.
 
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Mechelle Cataneo

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treats! more treats from your hand healthy type ones.stuffie ? as in stuffed animal??:(thats discouraging my gf has a build a bear she has had the entire 15 years we been together:lol:guess that bears forecever gonna be a lump under my back to wake up to
Yes, as in a stuffed animal. I’ve had him for years and he, too, is part of our family. 😊
 
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