Cats grooming sexual or not?

[ashleyashleyashley]

I have more than one cats but the one i am talking about here is a male and his 2 month old kitten. He has always been a goid dad , this is his second litter, ( the neuter and spay waiting list is so long and yes mom and dad are both on it)I recently moved and I had to leave them with a neighbor when I moved until a fire very close to my new place was under control. Well she gave him away or as she put it ,got rid if him because she is interpreting his grooming the kittens as a sexual assault , he has. Always been a great cat dad grooming cuddling and when they get a little bigger playing with them, and yes he is a cat , and around 9 months the first litters girls were becoming sexually mature and thankfully we rehomed them before any gross stuff could happen, but these are cats not humans and I don't think we can hold them to the same social and moral standard . I also do t think that the interaction she saw was sexual at all but j can't get her to understand this , am I wrong ? Is every grooming session about sex only . I am not looking to reeducate this woman but I feel I have to try to pacify her in the hope I can get my boy back , but am I rite if is she?

 

[ashleyashleyashley]

Sorry for the typos ,I am kinda a emotional wreak rite now , proofreading is just asking too much apparently

 

[Kris107]

An adult cat grooming a 2 month old kitten is not sexual. Period.

 

[KittyCat_chitchat]

So if I read this right, this woman, who you were trusting to look after YOUR cats, gave one of them away, and without even speaking to you beforehand? And if she thought there was a problem, why didn't she just put the cat in a separate room from the kittens? I don't like to think what I'd do in this situation, but it would probably get me arrested and that won't be productive for you. So you need to control the anger, even though I know that's a big ask.

I don't know what exactly she witnessed, but if she saw him licking his kittens, then I can confirm this is NOT mating behaviour. Cats groom each other to reaffirm social bonds. Neutered cats who live together groom each other. Siblings groom each other. It's as normal as human family members talking about what's for dinner.

When explaining this to her, try to stay calm and not get confrontational. Also explain to her, even if it seems obvious to you, that you were not giving her the cats, only expecting her to look acter them until you were able to take them back. It might be worth having someone else with you for support. Try not to escalate things if she gets defensive or confrontational.

A couple of ideas for if your talk with her doesn't go well. Firstly, if the other cats are still with her, I'd definitely try to get them out of there, as myself I wouldn't trust her with them. Do you have anybody else who could look after them for you?

Secondly, I don't know how much faith you have in your local authorities, but you could look into what the law where you live says about this situation. What she has done could count as pet theft. While you or I know that pets are for more valuable than property, the law would equate this situation to someone lending a neighbour their car, and the neighbour then giving that car to her son for his birthday. The neighbour does not have the legal right to give away something she doesn't own, so this is a form of theft. Getting police and/or lawyers involved could be a way to get your cat back.

 

[Hellenww]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Grooming is bonding and bathing especially with babies. Is washing a baby after a diaper change sexual abuse? Nope!

Some cats are butt obsessed. My 14yr Sqeeker would lick butt anytime the new 6mt kittens allowed. Litter box time was also a group activity. It's instinct to watch for predators.