I wanted to share a story in case it helps someone later. As many may know, Randall and I put our 10.6 yr old Tabby, Trin, to sleep recently. We still have two other cats: Gohan, who was adopted as a feral kitten 6 years ago and Olive, who is around 3 and we adopted last year. Trin and Gohan had been friends for years, Trin would groom Gohan fairly often and they had a huge level of comfort around each other. Olive, being the new cat on the block, was not as close to the other two. But she did play with Trin on occasion and they would lead merry chases around the house (I’m sure at least one of them was merry).
We decided to have the vet come to the house to euthanize Trin, and I am so glad we chose to do it that way. Not only was she so compassionate and Trin was saved a stressful trip, but Olive and Gohan were present. Olive hid at the time but Gohan stood on the stairs about 10 feet back and observed the whole event. I don’t believe he knew what was happening at the time, but he did watch from afar.
When Trin was gone, the vet suggested we have Olive and Gohan come out and see his body to help process their grief. She left the house and gave us time to bring them over. It felt quite macabre and like a dirty trick, but we lured them bother over with treats.
Gohan started sniffing the blanket the vet had brought - he always has to “map” new items in his home - and then he saw Trin. He instantly recoiled and withdrew - probably an animalistic instinct (if something killed my friend it could kill me). He ran back to the stairs.
I had been plying Olive with treats the whole time so she didn’t distract Gohan (they still aren’t friends). Olive is less concerned about new blanket smells, so I picked her up and brought her over. As soon as she saw Trin, she had the same instant recoil and squirmed to jump away. She ran under the futon and poor thing immediately threw up.
That night, we had the two snuggliest cats in the world. Gohan usually will sit in Randall’s lap but not sleep and then he will leave in 5-10 min. This guy melted into his legs and slept there for hours. Olive was also very cuddly, but this is normal for her so it was hard to tell if her behavior changed.
The next few days, I wasn’t sure what to expect as I have never seen a pet grieve before. We didn’t notice any searching or questing for Trin, and I assume it’s because on some level they had seen and somewhat understood. The very next day after, we found one of Gohan’s toys in a chair Trin would frequent. Not terribly unusual, but he doesn’t normally put anything on that particular chair. As we debated if this was a tribute to his brother, he jumped onto this same chair (very unusual) and gave a long, low, mournful meow (the closest he had every done to something like that was when he was very hurt). It seemed fairly obvious that he was expressing his grief.
Olive, having known him less time, seemed extra cuddly. I think for her, she was more insecure and worried about being abandoned and so she glomped onto me.
It has now been about 10 days, and Gohan has stabilized and is acting normal (for a cat). He has started snuggling in bed, which was Trin’s spot. But Trin has an alpha personality with the other two and it could be that Gohan feels more comfortable there now. Olive has been rather hyper recently - more than any other time I’ve seen - and I think she is missing having the playmate.
If anyone else is thinking about having their cats present for another one being put to sleep, I think it was so valuable and helpful for our guys to understand. It broke our hearts, but it is helping to heal theirs. If we have gone to the vet, I would not have brought them with - the experience would not have resonated with them because they would have been stressed and unable to understand or observe what was happening.
How else have your cats grieved?
We decided to have the vet come to the house to euthanize Trin, and I am so glad we chose to do it that way. Not only was she so compassionate and Trin was saved a stressful trip, but Olive and Gohan were present. Olive hid at the time but Gohan stood on the stairs about 10 feet back and observed the whole event. I don’t believe he knew what was happening at the time, but he did watch from afar.
When Trin was gone, the vet suggested we have Olive and Gohan come out and see his body to help process their grief. She left the house and gave us time to bring them over. It felt quite macabre and like a dirty trick, but we lured them bother over with treats.
Gohan started sniffing the blanket the vet had brought - he always has to “map” new items in his home - and then he saw Trin. He instantly recoiled and withdrew - probably an animalistic instinct (if something killed my friend it could kill me). He ran back to the stairs.
I had been plying Olive with treats the whole time so she didn’t distract Gohan (they still aren’t friends). Olive is less concerned about new blanket smells, so I picked her up and brought her over. As soon as she saw Trin, she had the same instant recoil and squirmed to jump away. She ran under the futon and poor thing immediately threw up.
That night, we had the two snuggliest cats in the world. Gohan usually will sit in Randall’s lap but not sleep and then he will leave in 5-10 min. This guy melted into his legs and slept there for hours. Olive was also very cuddly, but this is normal for her so it was hard to tell if her behavior changed.
The next few days, I wasn’t sure what to expect as I have never seen a pet grieve before. We didn’t notice any searching or questing for Trin, and I assume it’s because on some level they had seen and somewhat understood. The very next day after, we found one of Gohan’s toys in a chair Trin would frequent. Not terribly unusual, but he doesn’t normally put anything on that particular chair. As we debated if this was a tribute to his brother, he jumped onto this same chair (very unusual) and gave a long, low, mournful meow (the closest he had every done to something like that was when he was very hurt). It seemed fairly obvious that he was expressing his grief.
Olive, having known him less time, seemed extra cuddly. I think for her, she was more insecure and worried about being abandoned and so she glomped onto me.
It has now been about 10 days, and Gohan has stabilized and is acting normal (for a cat). He has started snuggling in bed, which was Trin’s spot. But Trin has an alpha personality with the other two and it could be that Gohan feels more comfortable there now. Olive has been rather hyper recently - more than any other time I’ve seen - and I think she is missing having the playmate.
If anyone else is thinking about having their cats present for another one being put to sleep, I think it was so valuable and helpful for our guys to understand. It broke our hearts, but it is helping to heal theirs. If we have gone to the vet, I would not have brought them with - the experience would not have resonated with them because they would have been stressed and unable to understand or observe what was happening.
How else have your cats grieved?