Cats fight but then cry when I separate them?

[LowCalCalzone]

Hey all! So long story short I have a 2 year old cat and a 1 year old that I adopted 6 months ago. They tolerate each other for the most part but every noe and then get into a bit of a scuffle. The little one likes to jump on the older one and she does NOT enjoy that at all. She meows loudly, hisses, and this is when I generally separate the two. But when I put the little one in a room by herself, the older one sits by the door and meows. I'll even crack the door a little bit so they can see each other, and the older one will just lay by the door until I let her out.

I'm so confused. The older one seems annoyed by the little one at times but when I give her her own space, she seems to want to see the little one? Has anyone experienced anything like this before? They don't snuggle or anything but love to bird watch in the windows together. They're not besties but do seem to tolerate each other for the most part.

 

[ArtNJ]

Hmmm, how should I explain? How about this...my 5 year old cat loves loves loves my lap. And its often annoying as all get out. There are times when one doesn't want to be touched. Doesn't mean I don't love the cat. Its a little more extreme for your older cat. One year olds are hella annoying. There are sooo many posts on here about one year olds. They want to play play play and they don't respect any human or pets signals to the contrary. So it makes the older cat grouchy, and she expresses her displeasure. Now I don't know what you mean by a scuffle, but I'm guessing its just a "get the bleep away from me or I'm gonna pin your *&!" kind of thing, NOT intent to injure. If that is the case, you can let them work it out. Hisses are displeasure, but in a true cat fight, you are more likely to get howling or screaming. It just doesn't sound the same. So I think this is probably not a true fighting scenario with intent to injure, just a cat at her wits end that wants some space. You can distract the kitten if you are around, but you shouldn't feel you have to. They can work through this, over time, and it should gradually improve. The younger cat won't be one forever. Morever, it sure sounds to me like the 2 year old does value the younger one. That is a huge positive sign for improvement going forward. She can value the younger one and be very annoyed a lot -- they aren't inconsistent. I feel the same way about my 5 year old cat. Heck, many parents feel that way about their kids at times -- they just hopefully do a better job not lashing out. But there is affection there I think. Or at least a benefit to having the younger one around.

All of that said, perhaps sharing a video would be a good idea to be sure I'm right.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I agree with A ArtNJ - your older one sometimes just wants to have some peace and quiet that the younger one isn't giving her. I would try to distract the younger one with play, and move the little one away from her if needed, but not locked away since the older one finds this stressing. You can let the older one try to teach the younger one when it is time to 'take a break', but only for as long until you see the older one becoming overly agitated, then you will need to intervene with play/distraction techniques. You want the older one know that you 'have her back' if the younger one persists in bugging her and doesn't back off after a while.

The video would be a good idea, just in case it would show something a little more severe going on.

 

[klunick]

We had a brother and sister who would fight like crazy one minute and be snuggled up next to each other the next. Like what was said above, keep the little one occupied when the older one acts like she needs some alone time. Just like in humans, little brothers/sisters can be annoying sometimes but you still love them.

 

[Elvey]

I know this is an older thread but I have a similar issue. The difference being both cats are the same age. The one is a very even keeled male, the other is my neurotic female and she is a bully and territorial. I separate her when she attacks and ambushes with biting, he does go belly up ears back, but i never seen him seriously attack her or even use his claws on her. She just keeps at him. Anyway once she is closed in another room. He will lay by the door and start crying. He even tries to coax her to play under the door. And he wont leave the door. Now i have to stress, she is relentless with him in bullying, blocking the cat door, staring, stalking, knocking him off his feet or off of wherever he is resting on. He mostly just wants to leave and seems miserable. He has even started flinching or looking over shoulder when hearing a noise. I always had the impression he has come to dislike her, yet the door thing will happen. I don’t know what to make of it other than he is being empathetic.