Cat stopped sleeping in my bed

Faycharaf

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Hello everyone,
My cat used to be the cuddliest cat ever. We used to live in a smaller apartment and he would follow me everywhere I went. Every night he would come and sleep next to me on the bed, and would often sleep there for day naps as well. I recently moved to a new apartment with my husband. He did not live with us before. Ever since I moved to the new apartment my cat stopped sleeping with me in bed and have been a lot less affectionate. He doesn’t even step into the bedroom and sleeps outside in the living room. The new apartment is much larger.

What is going on? I feel I have lost my sweet boy. He is almost 1.5 years old by the way.
 

SpecterOhPossum

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Moving to a new environment is hard on cats due to their biological need to be territorial and so on; and they will naturally take quite a lot of time to adjust and feel comfortable.
maybe you should look into setting the room to a basecamp.
 
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Faycharaf

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Moving to a new environment is hard on cats due to their biological need to be territorial and so on; and they will naturally take quite a lot of time to adjust and feel comfortable.
maybe you should look into setting the room to a basecamp.
Thanks for the suggestion and video. It’s bee almost 4 months since we’ve moved and he has not exhibited any excessively anxious behaviour. He’s always been jumpy which he still displays. Other than that just more distant
 

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You said your boy is 1.5 years old, barely out of kitten hood at that age. He may be just maturing, becoming his "own cat" within himself, feeling his independence and such. I would not worry about this new behavior. It's really not even a "behavior" as such, just that he is for the time being preferring to sleep in the living room, or outside of the living room. He, like you is getting used to your new enviroment. Give him time, when he is ready, I feel certain he will be back in your bed.;) Cats are very independent, they do things "their" way, not ours. We as humans have to adapt to them. As long as he is not showing any anxiety or troublesome behavior, I would not worry. He is just "being a cat". :)
 

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Hi. It may be one or a combination of: he doesn't like 'sharing' you at night with your husband, he is in a new place that he is still adapting to but that is also bigger which sometimes peaks a cat's interest about 'new places to hang out', and he is maturing. All of these changes could affect his personality, either temporarily or long term. About the only real role you can play in this is to ensure that he and your husband become best buds, if they weren't already - and, that you don't change the way you treat him/play with him, when you and he were in your old place. The rest will have to play itself out.
 
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Faycharaf

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Thanks everyone for your insight and advice! :blush::hearthrob:
 
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Faycharaf

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You said your boy is 1.5 years old, barely out of kitten hood at that age. He may be just maturing, becoming his "own cat" within himself, feeling his independence and such. I would not worry about this new behavior. It's really not even a "behavior" as such, just that he is for the time being preferring to sleep in the living room, or outside of the living room. He, like you is getting used to your new enviroment. Give him time, when he is ready, I feel certain he will be back in your bed.;) Cats are very independent, they do things "their" way, not ours. We as humans have to adapt to them. As long as he is not showing any anxiety or troublesome behavior, I would not worry. He is just "being a cat". :)
Do you recommend I carry him into the bedroom and try to pet him on the bed or would that make things worse. I tried a few times and he just jumps off and leaves
 

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I would probably just lock him in the bedroom with a litter box for a couple hours each day to help him get used to it. He may just not feel comfortable with the new space.
 
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Faycharaf

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I would probably just lock him in the bedroom with a litter box for a couple hours each day to help him get used to it. He may just not feel comfortable with the new space.
I’m afraid that would make him associate the bedroom with a “time out” area, no? 🙁😕
 

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Spend more time petting hm and cuddling with him. I've noticed my kitties give up sleeping with me when I don't give them enough attention - in their minds, not mine. I also tend to be a night owl, and I've noticed that if I stay up past their bedtime, they won't join me. And yes, keep carrying him into bed with you. Eventually, he will stay. There's nothing as cozy as having your kitty cuddled up with you in the bed.
 

mazie

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Do you recommend I carry him into the bedroom and try to pet him on the bed or would that make things worse. I tried a few times and he just jumps off and leaves
I would just let him come to you. When he is ready, he will come to you. Just make sure he has easy access to you in bed at night. I might even call out to him after you get into bed at night, call out his name, see if he doesn't come running to you. I am certain he is missing you too! ;) If you have something with his scent on it, a towel, blanket, stuffed toy, something other than yourself that is familiar in your bed, maybe that will entice him. Sometimes with cats I find you just have to be a little creative. :)
 

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Like others have said, it could just be an adjustment period in a new place. Maybe the bigger place has allowed your kitty for more variety of nice sleeping spots, too. Sometimes when Isabelle and I are in a smaller place or the door is closed to the room we are both sleeping in, she tends to cuddle more with me while I'm sleeping. When I was in the dorm, she spent more time cuddling with me, now that we are in a tiny house, she spends half her nights sleeping on the couch, and half her nights sleeping with me.

I also agree with mazie with calling your cat. My Isabelle was not sleeping with me as much since the kittens had full run of the house after they were introduced, and I missed Isabelle cuddling with me. I called her a couple weeks ago, and she seemed very eager to jump up! Since then, when I read in bed before going to sleep she comes to join me, and has slept most nights with me. Maybe your kitty just needs some coaxing and a reminder you enjoy her being there with you.
 

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The calling seems to work at night for me as well. The cats sometimes call out to me, I guess because they want to know where I am. So I meow back and often, they come. The sleeping in bed seems to be seasonal as well. This time of year, they spend more time in the bed (although they don't stay all night). It's weather-related. Sometimes when it's real cold, one of them will "ask" to come under the blankets but generally, they'll sleep in a pile by my feet.
 

pearl99

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Thinking as above he's adjusting to change. Could try putting some treats on the bed for him to find for positive association, or a bit of wet food as a snack.
I have a 5 year old cat that I've had for over 3 years that has decided to sleep elsewhere, he just decided to change. I don't know why, but he's happy. But when I take a nap on the couch he's right there. Sometimes they just do things different, but I do miss him sleeping with me.
 
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