Cat sitting a nervous cat - a dilemma

[chigusa]

Hi all. It's me again.

This is not about my Anís, which some of you know is finally getting comfortable at my home.

I am asking about a friend's cat I am currently catsitting.

He is a 8 year old male, an only cat. I am quite used to catsitting him, and he liked me quite a lot (purring, sleeping on lap etc) until two years ago.

Last year there was an episode where even though he was not aggressive he made clear he did not want me in his house. He was defensive and he hissed at me a couple of times. No scratching. It happened once and since then I went there with clean clothes (I mean wardrobe clean) and covered the soles of my shoes, and nothing of the sort happened again.

Now my friend is on vacation since Saturday, today I went to her house, and her cat hissed at me once or twice, came close to smell my feet and by bag in a friendly way then scratched me. Nothing serious, but still a scratch. He then went to do cat zooms around the house. He then came back rolling on the floor purring.

I do understand that I was not subject to an aggression.
Surely he feels alone, he's nervous and needs to spend some extra energy somehow.

That said, I have two questione.
Firstly, do you have any advice? He occasionally acts "weird" since I got my cats so I suspect he might be sensitive to smells.

Secondly, I admit that I am not looking forward to going back to the boy. I have my own introduction at home as you know, and it's quite stressing to be on guard because the cat I am sitting might or might not scratch me because he has extra energy and/or he does not like my smell. There is another friend of ours going to the house, a guy who leaves nearer and with whom the cat is more familiar and quiet with, so the cat would not be without assistance.
I admit I am temped to call my friend and tell her of my discomfort. Is it too selfish? I would feel bad but I honestly don't feel at ease.

So I guess the final question is: am I a bit of a drama queen and with the proper precautions I can hope to not be scratched again?
Or it would make sense for me to talk to my friend and let the guy handle her cat for the next week? She will be back home around August 18th.

To put the matter in perspective, these are the scratches we're talking about.

 

[ArtNJ]

Its not just a "you" issue though, the smell of your cats is making the friend's cat uncomfortable. So if there is someone else that doesn't have cats that can take over the cat sitting, asking that they do that isn't just for you, it is to make the friend's cat more comfortable. You don't remotely need to feel bad about that.

Even if it was reasonable for you to change clothes every time, you might still have the smells of your cats on YOU as opposed to the clothes. And this cat seems sensitive to that.

What I would say is something like

hey [friend] your cat is seeming really uncomfortable with me these days, probably because of my cat's smell. I tried changing clothes, but it didn't entirely fix it. I got some trivial scratches, nbd, nothing really. Anyway, I don't remotely mind doing the food & litter, but it looks like I won't be able to really sit and do a lot of petting without stressing [him/her] out. What is your feeling as to whether I should just do food & litter, or ask [ ] to take over so [your cat] can get the whole package including petting?

Pretty much impossible to call ya a drama queen if that is how you phrase it.

 

[silent meowlook]

Hi. I will be blunt because that is how I am.
Yes, you are being a bit of a drama queen. I have a tendency to overthink everything and I think you are doing the same.

What are you supposed to be doing with the cat? Feeding? Litter? Water? Playtime? Just go in and do what needs to be done.
Next visit, go in and don’t talk to the cat or make eye contact. Don’t try to pet the cat. Get his toy, hopefully he has a wand toy, and play without getting too close. Play until he doesn’t want to play and then feed if you are supposed to and leave.

He is a cat. He doesn’t harbor any ill will towards you. He doesn’t think about you. He just is a cat living as cats do, in the moment.

Remember, a hiss is him telling you to leave him alone. Listen to him. An upset cat cannot be consoled or have their mood changed. So if he hisses, just leave him alone.

But, I would try the wand toy. If he doesn’t want to play, then don’t play. Just me sure to be silent when you go in and no eye contact.

If it was me, and depending on what the friend is doing ie vacation or family emergency, I would let them know their cat isn’t enjoying your visit, or if the later, not say anything.

How did you get scratched? Did he just go after you or were you trying to engage him in some way?

 

[Kris107]

My neighbor's cat, is prone to get overstimulated, little did I know. I think it's worse when the house is quiet and there's no stimulation. But after petting him and interacting with him, he bit me. Not nice. So I think getting in and getting out is a good idea. The cat will be okay without the extra playtime. Cats figure out a way to amuse themselves.

 

[chigusa]

What are you supposed to be doing with the cat? Feeding? Litter? Water? Playtime? Just go in and do what needs to be done.
Next visit, go in and don’t talk to the cat or make eye contact. Don’t try to pet the cat. Get his toy, hopefully he has a wand toy, and play without getting too close. Play until he doesn’t want to play and then feed if you are supposed to and leave.

Feed, clean the litter, water, a bit of play for a minimum.
After all that, I used to keep him company a bit, sit on the sofa and watch some Netflix. He used to come sit and sleep on my lap.
I stayed last time, on Sunday, and I had no issue, there was no scratching or hissing.
My friend likes me as a sitter for that too: I stay a bit with him.
Obviously I am not that comfortable now.

How did you get scratched? Did he just go after you or were you trying to engage him in some way?

I don't pet him at all, nor does the other guy cat-sitting him. The cat is a bit jumpy and, I think, he does not like being alone. He will come and rub on you but he may scratch if you touch him. I usually just stand, let him rub. No touching.

To answer your question, I was standing in the kitchen, he came close, smelled my feet/ankle in a pretty quiet manner. Then he hissed, scratched me then walked away. That is why I am a bit worried. Apart from talking to him a bit, I did not attempt to get close; unless he is between me and the place I need to reach (kitchen, litter room etc), that is, and I need to pass by.
I'm worried next time he might not like what he smells, again, and perhaps be less delicate.

 

[chigusa]

I do wonder, out of curiosity: might his behavior have something to do with the vaccines I recently had? It was three in a row, for my upcoming trip to Brazil. Perhaps the skin smells differently after being injected something weird...

Not that it matters. I'll keep going in as clean as possible, use a "neutral" bag and be in and out. Just wondering if once I "outsmell" the vaccines he maybe quieter.

 

[Alldara]

Does your friend usually play with him? (The owner?)

I'm wondering if he has an abundance of pent up energy and that's translating to nervous energy.

Can you leave a shirt of yours there for him? A worn one, to get used to your scent?


Do you only visit when your friend is away now because of your cats?

 

[silent meowlook]

Do you have any Feliway?

 

[chigusa]

Does your friend usually play with him? (The owner?)

I'm wondering if he has an abundance of pent up energy and that's translating to nervous energy.

Can you leave a shirt of yours there for him? A worn one, to get used to your scent?


Do you only visit when your friend is away now because of your cats?

Lots of food for thoughts.

In order:
I believe she and her partner do play with him, but they also taught him as a kitten that playing with feet and hands is ok. Sometimes when he is alone as they are on holiday he tries grabbing your hand as you walk near the table if he is on it. He's never been a quiet cat. Even with them around he is a bit nervous, obviously much less. But with his owners around he accepts to be petted. In my opinion he would benefit front the companion of another cat greatly thought, he'd burn some nervous energy. Alas they are so afraid he'd be aggressive that they never tried introducing a second cat.

I don't visit them at their home much, because we usually meet outside. When I do go to their house, he does not react like this and he can definitely smell my cats on me. The other sitter is a regular guest and he's always said the cat is calm around him.

I can certainly try and leave a shirt of mine.

My guess is that this new behavior is related to my cats' smell because it did not happen before I adopted them. I had one cat before, a female now living with my parents. He did not seem to mind, but again, she was not as cuddly as my boys.

Perhaps I do overthink but I wonder, what should I do if this happens again and unlike today he does not stop?
Also, how should I act if I need to enter the kitchen for example and he tries to block me? Preventing him from feeding him etc?

 

[chigusa]

Do you have any Feliway?

Yes I have some I was using for my introduction and I think I can spare since at home now it's going better.

Also, sorry for my typos. Autocorrect Is so tedious.

 

[game misconduct]

your feet stink just kidding its possible he smells your cats scent on you. graycie has to scent mark(reclaim onership) me my clothes/cane and shoes every friday after i get home from visiting my dad baby sis has 3 cats and a dog so i track home a bunch of new smells

 

[Kris107]

they also taught him as a kitten that playing with feet and hands is ok.

This could be why. He might have been trying to engage you. My husband lets one of ours scratch on his feet. She has learned I make a horrendous sound or scold her if she does it to me. With guests she's sometimes confused.

 

[chigusa]

This could be why. He might have been trying to engage you. My husband lets one of ours scratch on his feet. She has learned I make a horrendous sound or scold her if she does it to me. With guests she's sometimes confused.

Maybe.
However he hissed at me shortly after I had gotten in, too. And I tried throwing one of his toys, to no avail; when I did he merely stared at me.
Then I moved to the kitchen and the scratch happened.

It may still be a mix of both: the need to play, the annoyance due to the smell on my feet/bag.

 

[silent meowlook]

Try spraying a tiny bit of Feliway on your feet/ pants leg.

Disclaimer: This is a completely off lable way to use Feliway. The manufacturer instructions never suggest doing this. I don’t know if it safe or not. Try at your own risk.

Personally I have sprayed Feliway on my hands multiple times a day for decades and suffered no ill effects. But everyone is different. Feliway does have a high alcohol content, something like 99.9% alcohol. Always give it a couple of minutes to air out before going near the kitty.

 

[Alldara]

It may still be a mix of both: the need to play, the annoyance due to the smell on my feet/bag.

This is what I'm thinking.

Some treat tosses when you get in next might help. Getting him to play with a wand toy certainly would.

But if you cant improve it, and theres another sitter who he's comfortable with, its best to have him be comfortable.

 

[Meowmee]

I would tell your friend what's happening and see what they think. If it were me I would want to know what is going on with my cat. If you really don't want to do it again, maybe the other friend can take over. Try all the feliway stuff, scent swapping too maybe or clean clothes each time, and wear protective clothing to stop him scratching you again just in case. Also bring some wand toys to help avoid that hopefully. Does he like music? Maybe you can play some too.

 

[chigusa]

Thank you all for your input.

Unfortunately my feliway is the plug in type, so either I plug it in at my friend's house or I do without it. What I have is some Pet Remedy, but to be honest that product is not cheap and I was/am using it at home.
I also don't have much left and surely not enough for the 4/5 visits I am supposed to do.

I have no idea if he likes music. I used to turn the TV on while I was there, but if my goal is to get in and out quickly perhaps that is not advisable.

I am supposed to catsit tomorrow, on Sunday and one day or two next week. I'll see how it goes tomorrow, then depending on that I'll decide if I feel comfortable or not. I am afraid the more days pass, the more he'll feel the grip of solitude and might get moody.
I'll certainly tell my friend, just not sure if I should do it now or wait until tomorrow/Sunday.

I honestly don't know if I'll agree to help next year anyway. The cat used to like me and was gentler with me than he was with other friends of ours, but apparently this is not the case anymore. Sad, but I don't think I can fix it. Only make it more comfortable for him.

 

[Kflowers]

I would hesitate to leave a feliway plugged in at a house with no people. There have been problems with the diffusers catching fire. Perhaps the company has fixed that problem. I would certainly not use it without telling the owner. The stuff doesn't agree with everyone and they need to know before they walk into it in their house.

edit to add - Google page with discussion of fire hazard safety.

feliway diffuser fire hazard - Google Search

 

[DeesCats]

C chigusa , maybe try wearing long pants and shoes that completely cover your feet on your next visit to avoid scratches on your legs and feet.

 

[chigusa]

Today it went quote better. As S silent meowlook advised, I paid him little attention. He was apparently happy to finally have some company. For a good measure I threw him some catnip treats anyway. He did hiss once, when I was cleaning his litter and by back was turned to him. He smelled me very little.

I am under the impression he's a bit of a tsundere, so to say. He wants you around, he loves some company, he's bored, but because he's bored he also gets a bit overstimulated. But when you leave, he follows you.
I also think he's a bit territorial.
He hissed while I was handling his litterbox, apparently he did not like it much.