Cat scared of me since many years :/

tonitoni

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Hey everyone!



I have my Cat since about 10years now, when i get her she was approx. 2-3years old.

prestory: I bought her from one of these Animal Rescue places in my hometown, the vet told me when they found her, she had 2 broken legs, got some metal implants so her bones grow together, they grew together and now there are only some screws left in her legs. she also had a complete "service" as in vaccination and what not.



When we first came home, she did the usual hiding and then slowly looking around exploring the new enviroment, rather quickly she adapted and was chilling on the bed the next day already.



From the get-go she was always scared, scared as in, running away and hiding. if i was just sitting at my desk she would wander around my appartment but once i stod up and walked around she just ran off.

cuddling or petting is also not really hers, she has her moments where she comes closer and lets me pet her, but she is always at maximum range so that i barely can reach her while petting.





over the years i myself have changed partner a bit and she got in contact with other animals, first it was a dog, a really calm one, and my other partner had an half dead cat. both she would constantly run away from and usually just ended up under the bed or unaccessible spots for the other animal, when the other animal ended up trying to play with her, my cat just ran away till she ended up in a dead end and start hissing, so we had to seperate them.



nowadays she's alone with me again and she is rather calm now that she is getting older.

she was never the kind of cat that would be loud. maybe once or twice a month she cries at the door but thats about it.

she still doesnt like petting much, just when i wake up and she happens to sleep on the other side of the bed (she never cuddles with me when i sleep), she maybe comes close to the middle of the bed and lets me pet her for 1-2min and then runs off.



when i try to play with her, she maybe chases the object once or twice but then just sits at a distance, if i let the toy there she will start playing by herself and run about.

when petting her, she recently (about 2months ago) started to bur (as in this vibrating noise that cats make when they enjoy something) but at the same time her tail is starting to jitter more and more the longer i pet her, till she eventually just gets up and runs away. i usually just pet her for 2-3min maximum cuz of that, i dont want that she has to get up cuz of me.



any ideas how i could strengthen our relationship a little bit?
 

Furballsmom

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Hi!
Have you tried reading to her, and also just sitting on the floor while you work on your computer/phone? Don't really look right at her, I think that eye contact makes her feel more shy.
 
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tonitoni

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i have already tried just sitting on the floor for a while with her nearby and she might even come closer for a short period but eventually just walks away
i tried doing that regulary but doesnt seem to change anything

she does pretty regulary sleep on the other side of the bed (its a double bed), but she usually isnt present when i go to bed, its just that when i wake up she is there next to me xD
 

felinelover2

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Also a Feliway collar may help her, as well as a cat tree or shelves for her to sit up high. Cats feel more confident when they can they get up off the ground.
 
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tonitoni

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i have a cattree for her, shes on it every now and then but prefers to look out of the window and rest there for height and entertainment :D

i dont know what the collar thing is, from what i found on google its supposed to stop cats from meowing, scratching and such stuff. she doesnt do any of that
 
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tonitoni

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regarding the catmusic, she seems pretty uneffected by noises from speakers/tvs, like if i am watching yt videos with feral cats, she doesnt even bother looking at me/where the cat hissing etc is coming from xD
 

Furballsmom

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Try Spotify's harp collection called Cat In My Arms, or RelaxMyCat, or MusicForCats :)
 

felinelover2

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i have a cattree for her, shes on it every now and then but prefers to look out of the window and rest there for height and entertainment :D

i dont know what the collar thing is, from what i found on google its supposed to stop cats from meowing, scratching and such stuff. she doesnt do any of that
Feliway is generally a calming agent for cats, but it works on some and not on others. Does the cat play with you using interactive toys, like wand toys? Play is also good for building kitty confidence and reducing fear and anxiety.
 

verna davies

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Rub some catnip on your hands, the smell might attract her to you and maybe she will allow you to pet her.
 
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tonitoni

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Feliway is generally a calming agent for cats, but it works on some and not on others. Does the cat play with you using interactive toys, like wand toys? Play is also good for building kitty confidence and reducing fear and anxiety.
i would say 9 out of 10 times she just looks at it, looks at me and then doesnt move or walk away.
the 10th time she might go for a few punches but then runs off.

Rub some catnip on your hands, the smell might attract her to you and maybe she will allow you to pet her.
the issue isnt really petting, its more that she gets anxiety or something like that while i am petting her. i can usually slowly walk up to her when she is on the bed, and start petting her, scratch her neck and she seems to enjoy it, but her tail will start jittering more and more till she eventually jumps up and goes hiding or just looks at me from distance

i am not moving fast and try to come down to her level, so she doesnt feel like i am this giant human monster :D
 

Furballsmom

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She might be one of those cats that can't handle too much petting - she's not alone in that :)

Do you have a lot of static electricity in your home? You could be building up a static charge in her fur - try keeping a damp cloth nearby and making your hand damp-ish before petting her.
 
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tonitoni

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She might be one of those cats that can't handle too much petting - she's not alone in that :)

Do you have a lot of static electricity in your home? You could be building up a static charge in her fur - try keeping a damp cloth nearby and making your hand damp-ish before petting her.
cant remember ever getting one of these "shocks" that u get from static electricity since i moved into this appartment, so i would generally say no
 

felinelover2

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Our two scaredy cats just watched the toy or stared at us for the longest time before taking a swat or two. We kept at it and now both play with all kinds of toys alot. So keep at it, and try different toys and moving them in different ways. For example a wand toy with a feather on the end, pretend it's a birdie. Have it gently fly past the cat. For a wand toy with a worm on the end, drag it on the ground slowly. Make it disappear around a corner, or under a small mat or towel. Our two can't resist when it disappears and will pounce. The idea is for play to simulate their natural prey to engage their hunting instincts, which override their fear. So if the cat is swatting, that instinct is there, you just have to try different toys and/or movements of the toy. Keep play sessions short and even if the cat doesn't engage, reward with a treat at the end so they come to look forward to the toy coming out :)

Good luck!
 
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