Cat-Related Moral Conundrum...

rosegold

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(Sorry if this isn't the right place for such a post - it concerns cat death/euthanasia, but I didn't want to hijack the Crossing the Bridge forum - feel free to move elsewhere if necessary!)

I'm in the middle of a frustrating and confusing moral dilemma regarding cats and euthanasia, and wondered if any of you had a different opinion or wanted to play devil's advocate...

Long story short: today I saw a post on one of my local pet groups, by a woman who recently had to move back to her home country, but had to leave her two cats here in foster care while she tries to fundraise for their plane tickets. One of the cats has been terminally ill for a long time and is now in critical condition (like, she's going to die within a day or two). The woman is broke, but had found a vet clinic willing to euthanize the cat for very cheap with a payment plan. So, since she's not in the country, she posted begging someone to go get her cat from the foster home tomorrow and take it to that specific vet to be euthanized. However, the foster home happened to be 3 hours away from that vet office. Even if someone with a car offered (let alone taking the subway/bus), that's an extremely long and stressful journey for a dying cat.

I felt so sympathetic for this poor little cat, and it seemed really urgent, so I immediately messaged her and offered to do it. I just got my paycheck recently along with a bonus, so I offered to just take her to a local vet nearby the foster home, and said I would cover the euthanasia costs completely. That way, the kitty could pass peacefully under minimal stress, and the woman wouldn't have to worry about finances. To my shock, the woman declined, but asked if she could still take my financial offer and use it to fund her other cat's plane ticket instead (while also still asking me to take her dying cat on the subway/bus for 3 hours to the cheap vet office).

I was stunned. I thought about how traumatizing it would be for this cat... already suffering and dying, then taken by a complete stranger, forced to endure the noise and chaos of subways and buses for three hours, constantly jostled around in a carrier with all the transfers I would have to make, then taken into a vet office and poked and prodded and then finally dying. I didn't say all of that to the woman but I expressed my worry that she could possibly die during the travel, or at least experience a hellish last few hours of suffering, and reiterated that I was willing to completely cover the costs of euthanasia at a local vet and make sure that her baby experienced the best possible quality of life for her last few hours... But again, she declined and said she'd rather use my "financial gift" to pay for her other cat's flight ticket. Didn't even address my concerns.

I still haven't replied to her, because I honestly don't know what to say. As much as I want to help this cat, I don't think my conscience will allow me to do as the owner is asking. I just can't let a dying cat suffer needlessly in immense stress for 3 hours, when I am fully capable of letting her rest and be at peace within 20 minutes. Honestly, she might be better off dying quietly at the foster home in a familiar place than potentially dying on that awful subway ride. I felt a bit guilty because I did technically offer money to help her, but I offered it with the specific purpose of helping this dying cat's last day go more peacefully, not to just give this woman money to be nice.

I feel awful for this kitty... and I still wish I could just help her get to a local vet and be with her when she passes... but I just don't think I can do the 3-hour subway/bus thing, morally. It feels wrong to me. I just couldn't put a living creature through that, knowing that I had full capacity to prevent that suffering. I hope the woman finds someone else, maybe someone with a car who can drive the cat at least... but I just don't think I can say yes to her request. :(

What would you do? Do you think I'm being too judgmental about the owner's choice in this situation? When does practicality of the whole situation become a higher priority than an individual creature's quality of life?
 

SpecterOhPossum

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I'd let the cat pass at home naturally IMO / call a vet to the home to do it there. IF something is currently IN the act of dying, I don't feel it's appropriate to
pick it up, stick it into a carrier, shake/walk it outside (possibly down stairs; more shaking) placed in the car, belted in, drove; shaking, pulled and rustled back out of the car, shook/walked again into an office, pulled out, then stuck with needles to expire.
Does that sound like a peaceful way to go?
I'm not against euthanasia, but honestly, my view is that humans take their fear of death too far. Of course; it depends on the condition and stuff, but if an animal is literally minutes from perishing / hours before, I don't see how the process of taking it to be put down is any more kind than letting it pass where it's lived it's entire life.
I think, in that, case; and in most cases; a vet COMING to the home would be the best option, aside from passing in it's territory in peace and quiet; undisturbed.
 

Kieka

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When you offer to help someone, they get what you offer no more and no less. They don't get to barter for more or change the terms. They accept it or they don't. Sounds to me like she isn't willing to accept what you are offering and she is the one who has to live with the choice. I feel bad for her cat but if she is truly that close to passing away and this woman is unable to arrange differently; the cat will pass away in the foster home without the trauma of the trip.

The cynic in me thinks it is a scam and she is trying to get money. Just like the guy asking for money for food on the corner, she doesn't actually want the item just the money. So when you offer her what she says she wants the money for she rejects it because she doesn't want it. It's like someone I saw (with their dog next to them) begging for dog food. I went in the local store and bought a bag of dog food. When I gave them the bag, the person asked me if they could just have some money instead. They never wanted the dog food, just the money (if it had been something with the food itself I would have expected a "my dog can't have ____" response). Some people prey on the kindness of others on purpose and others do it without consideration for what it sounds like. I do know that person who would do what you describe and think nothing of it. But that goes back to it is their problem not mine if they refuse the help I offer.
 
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FeebysOwner

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Wow! That is a mess! If it were me, I would reply to the woman that the money/help you offered was to enable a dying cat to pass as peacefully as possible and that your conscious will not permit you to help another cat that is in a foster home and being taken care of while the terminally ill one is put through such an ordeal. I would also be insistent - with some serious begging involved - that she NOT let the cat go through all of that just to be pts. You might also ask (although it would be more expensive for you) if this woman would allow you to call a vet that would euthanize the poor cat in its foster home.

I know others will probably want to choke me for what I am about to propose, but I am going to do it anyway. If this woman still insists that you put that poor cat through all of that, then tell her that you will take her cat for euthanasia but will ONLY pay for whatever that costs and nothing more. Hopefully, she will agree at that point, and give you permission to pick up the cat. Then, take the cat where you want to take it.

If she still refuses, then I hope she will let the cat die in the foster home and not seek out someone else to do what she has asked you to do.

Bless you for being so giving and caring. You are better person than me!
 
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Texaskitty

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(Sorry if this isn't the right place for such a post - it concerns cat death/euthanasia, but I didn't want to hijack the Crossing the Bridge forum - feel free to move elsewhere if necessary!)

I'm in the middle of a frustrating and confusing moral dilemma regarding cats and euthanasia, and wondered if any of you had a different opinion or wanted to play devil's advocate...

Long story short: today I saw a post on one of my local pet groups, by a woman who recently had to move back to her home country, but had to leave her two cats here in foster care while she tries to fundraise for their plane tickets. One of the cats has been terminally ill for a long time and is now in critical condition (like, she's going to die within a day or two). The woman is broke, but had found a vet clinic willing to euthanize the cat for very cheap with a payment plan. So, since she's not in the country, she posted begging someone to go get her cat from the foster home tomorrow and take it to that specific vet to be euthanized. However, the foster home happened to be 3 hours away from that vet office. Even if someone with a car offered (let alone taking the subway/bus), that's an extremely long and stressful journey for a dying cat.

I felt so sympathetic for this poor little cat, and it seemed really urgent, so I immediately messaged her and offered to do it. I just got my paycheck recently along with a bonus, so I offered to just take her to a local vet nearby the foster home, and said I would cover the euthanasia costs completely. That way, the kitty could pass peacefully under minimal stress, and the woman wouldn't have to worry about finances. To my shock, the woman declined, but asked if she could still take my financial offer and use it to fund her other cat's plane ticket instead (while also still asking me to take her dying cat on the subway/bus for 3 hours to the cheap vet office).

I was stunned. I thought about how traumatizing it would be for this cat... already suffering and dying, then taken by a complete stranger, forced to endure the noise and chaos of subways and buses for three hours, constantly jostled around in a carrier with all the transfers I would have to make, then taken into a vet office and poked and prodded and then finally dying. I didn't say all of that to the woman but I expressed my worry that she could possibly die during the travel, or at least experience a hellish last few hours of suffering, and reiterated that I was willing to completely cover the costs of euthanasia at a local vet and make sure that her baby experienced the best possible quality of life for her last few hours... But again, she declined and said she'd rather use my "financial gift" to pay for her other cat's flight ticket. Didn't even address my concerns.

I still haven't replied to her, because I honestly don't know what to say. As much as I want to help this cat, I don't think my conscience will allow me to do as the owner is asking. I just can't let a dying cat suffer needlessly in immense stress for 3 hours, when I am fully capable of letting her rest and be at peace within 20 minutes. Honestly, she might be better off dying quietly at the foster home in a familiar place than potentially dying on that awful subway ride. I felt a bit guilty because I did technically offer money to help her, but I offered it with the specific purpose of helping this dying cat's last day go more peacefully, not to just give this woman money to be nice.

I feel awful for this kitty... and I still wish I could just help her get to a local vet and be with her when she passes... but I just don't think I can do the 3-hour subway/bus thing, morally. It feels wrong to me. I just couldn't put a living creature through that, knowing that I had full capacity to prevent that suffering. I hope the woman finds someone else, maybe someone with a car who can drive the cat at least... but I just don't think I can say yes to her request. :(

What would you do? Do you think I'm being too judgmental about the owner's choice in this situation? When does practicality of the whole situation become a higher priority than an individual creature's quality of life?
I agree with Kieka about being cynical about this. I think this is a scam. I think you should back away from the situation and not communicate with her anymore. It just doesn't smell right.
 

FeebysOwner

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To my shock, the woman declined, but asked if she could still take my financial offer and use it to fund her other cat's plane ticket instead (while also still asking me to take her dying cat on the subway/bus for 3 hours to the cheap vet office).
While it may be a scam, why did this woman still want rosegold rosegold to take the ill cat for euthanasia? That was the only reason I wasn't inclined to think that way.
 

Talien

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It's not a financial gift for this woman, it's an act of mercy for a dying Cat. If she can't understand or accept that then she has issues. If it was me I would lay it out straight for her, no sugarcoating, and tell her exactly like that.

Moreover, why did she leave the country when she knew her Cat was dying? Unless it was something she had no choice in or no control over it was extremely irresponsible.
 
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rosegold

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Moreover, why did she leave the country when she knew her Cat was dying? Unless it was something she had no choice in or no control over it was extremely irresponsible.
While it may be a scam, why did this woman still want rosegold rosegold to take the ill cat for euthanasia? That was the only reason I wasn't inclined to think that way.
I do know she isn’t a scammer, just because she’s been an active well-liked member of the pet community here for several years, and her history with these cats is well documented. (Also, she didn’t ask for money initially, just asked for a volunteer to bring the cat to the vet - I brought up donating my own money for a closer vet).

It’s my understanding that she spent months fundraising for these cats to travel home with her, but ended up having to use most of the funds on the sick cat’s medical bills, and couldn’t postpone her own flight home for visa reasons or something else, so they had to stay with a foster. Before this whole situation I thought it was commendable that she was still working on bringing her cats home rather than just leaving and abandoning them, as so many pet owners here do... but that’s also why I was so shocked. You spend a fortune on taking care of this sick cat, with facebook and instagram profiles for them and the whole shebang, a sweet little calico former street cat that you rescued yourself - but then you seemingly don’t care how it spends its last few hours on earth?

It’s just so bizarre to me. I tried to imagine if I were in that situation and was broke, and had to leave my two cats behind while I went to back to the US, and god forbid say Chilli got sick with a fatal illness... If a nice person offered to facilitate and pay for her euthanasia to ensure that she would spend a more comfortable and peaceful last few hours, it wouldn’t even cross my mind to say “actually it’s fine if Chilli suffers but can you fund Clove’s flight ticket instead?”.

The only thing I can think of is maybe she simply doesn’t agree that 3 hour trip on a subway with a complete stranger would be that stressful for a dying cat. Which.... yeah. If she’s ridden the public transit in Seoul for more than 5 seconds, she should know that’s totally inaccurate. Even I get stressed out by all the loud noise and jostling and strong smells. Let alone a poor little cat.
 
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rosegold

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I thought, well, maybe I’m being petty about the details, and should just do what the owner is requesting and take the cat across town 3 hours to the other vet. Maybe I’m being cruel to just withdraw all my help after I offered it... But at the same time, if that little cat dies in the middle of a noisy subway station under my care, I would feel absolutely terrible.
 

vyger

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I live in the rurals of Montana where things are sometimes handled differently. We don't really get a choice of vets, there is one in maybe a 75 mile radius. Rural people and farm and ranch people don't take dying animals in to a vet to be dispatched, they usually take care of that themselves. The ones they do take to the vet are the ones that stand a chance of living. They often have to deal with injured and sick animals, livestock and otherwise. Often things just die on their own. Most people don't think about that but every animal from birds to deer to skunks dies and they often do it on their own or they die from predators. Dying is easy, it's the staying alive part that takes effort.
To some extent I can understand where this person is coming from. The cat that is dying is a lost cause, it is not going to be saved or get better. If you have a choice of spending a fixed amount of funds which one do you spend it on, the one that will die no matter what or the one that is still alive? It is the kind of choice that poorer people have to make all the time. So to this person the question is --- if you are willing to spend your money on a dying cat would you be more willing to spend it on a living one? She is trying to save the one she can help if she can get the help.

Is it a scam? Who knows. I would offer to dispatch the sick one, it would cost about 25 cents for the bullets. It would be very fast and they would never feel a thing. It would resolve the situation. Of course the chances are the cat would die before it even got that far. Either way, problem solved.
 

Talien

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No, you aren't being petty. 3 hours on a crowded subway? That's just too cruel to the Cat. If it was me and the choices were that or walk away, I'd be walking away for sure.

I know for a fact I'm more judgmental than most, so it's hard for me to feel any pity for someone who would insist on what amounts to torturing their animal.
 

Tik cat's mum

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You offered to help the dying cat and I think what you suggest is alot less stressful for all.You, cat, and you would think the owner. I would be firm like others have suggested and tell her that is your offer take it or leave it. If she doesn't want the help your offering then cut contact. She shouldn't expect anyone to make a unnecessary trip like that. By the way I think it's amazing that you offered this.
 

Sidewinder

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I live in the rurals of Montana where things are sometimes handled differently. We don't really get a choice of vets, there is one in maybe a 75 mile radius. Rural people and farm and ranch people don't take dying animals in to a vet to be dispatched, they usually take care of that themselves. The ones they do take to the vet are the ones that stand a chance of living. They often have to deal with injured and sick animals, livestock and otherwise. Often things just die on their own. Most people don't think about that but every animal from birds to deer to skunks dies and they often do it on their own or they die from predators. Dying is easy, it's the staying alive part that takes effort.
To some extent I can understand where this person is coming from. The cat that is dying is a lost cause, it is not going to be saved or get better. If you have a choice of spending a fixed amount of funds which one do you spend it on, the one that will die no matter what or the one that is still alive? It is the kind of choice that poorer people have to make all the time. So to this person the question is --- if you are willing to spend your money on a dying cat would you be more willing to spend it on a living one? She is trying to save the one she can help if she can get the help.

Is it a scam? Who knows. I would offer to dispatch the sick one, it would cost about 25 cents for the bullets. It would be very fast and they would never feel a thing. It would resolve the situation. Of course the chances are the cat would die before it even got that far. Either way, problem solved.
Living in a rural or semi-rural area does pose challenges, and I second this opinion... death is inevitable for all creatures on this planet, but suffering is a major drag and it should be terminated whenever possible. Moi, if I were faced with an ugly medical condition, I'd rather take a nice clean bullet than suffer over time and still die in the end, aye? I remember seeing a picture of John Bachar with a signed article of clothing which read: "Death is a gift." And yes, he died quickly after a fall, he wasn't my favorite rock climber or free soloist but he was out there puttin' up routes, and that always involves some risk... it's not the fall that kills ya, it's the sudden stop. 🏴‍☠️
 

susanm9006

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I would be very concerned about your personal safety in traveling to an unfamiliar location at the request of a basically unknown person. I would not do that even if you could verify that that was indeed at vet there. Plus a six hour round trip for you and an I’ll cat is way too long.

I would reiterate your original offer to pay for a euthanasia nearby and let her know that is all you can do for her.
 
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rosegold

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After a lot of frustrating back and forth, and her running out of options, she did finally accept my offer. It turns out the cat was already staying with a vet, who had been kindly treating her for free for three days, so luckily she didn’t have to travel anywhere (and neither did I!).The foster mom went and stayed with her while she was euthanized, which I paid for via bank transfer and got a valid receipt for... all’s well that ends well I guess. So sad for the kitty but glad she is at peace now.
 
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rosegold

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Yes, very kind. But I do not understand a vet who would care for a dying cat for free but not euthanize them without payment.
I agree, I thought that was weird, too.... Apparently he did offer to euthanize the cat and let her pay later or in some kind of deferred payment plan, which she had vetoed because the eventual cost would have still been more expensive than that other vet 3 hours away.
 
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