- Joined
- Apr 1, 2019
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- 12
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My wife and I have two cats. We had trouble getting them introduced when we first brought the second cat home at our previous home which was a single-bedroom apartment. 5+ months of never getting them to tolerate each other. We then moved to a two bedroom, two story townhouse and the cats immediately got along now that there was less of a perceived resource/territory conflict. We have been here for 6+ months in bliss until about two weeks ago when a fight broke out while we were at work or possibly at the movies after work (as we didn't stop home between the two events). They no longer trust each other.
Cat A is very nervous when Cat B is around and will hiss if Cat B gets too close. Cat B will get very big pupils and chase Cat A if Cat A is caught anywhere other than our bedroom. If Cat A hisses, Cat B get a poofy erect tail in addition to the chasing and pupil dialation.
We think the issue started because Cat B would fall asleep downstairs and wake up to discover we were asleep upstairs with Cat A (in some instances with the bedroom door shut). We didn't always shut the door but they sometimes get noisy at night so we would shut it occasionally. We started hearing her sad meows from downstairs a week or two before the incident although we didn't always have the door shut so it was never clear why she felt this abandoned or if we interpreted her meows correctly. We would go down and check on her and she would act fine but not even follow us upstairs. (Part of the meowing may have been a catnip toy she found).
Anyways, since we never had any luck with the original introduction at the other apartment and since the fighting seems like it could have been the result of attachment to the humans and our inability to show them love at all times of the day, the traditional "reintroduction" seems like it won't and isn't working. We feed them on both sides of the door. Nobody attacks each other during the food time when the door is open and we shut the door and continue this process. We occasionally let the bedroom cat out some to mingle and shut one away again when we see a fight will soon break out. We site swap and scent swap. No progress and it feels like separating the cats makes them feel neglected by us. They are lonely in the bedroom alone during the day or lonely if they have to sleep out of the bedroom. I am losing my mind. I just...don't know if I can do this whole cat separation routine again. It's not good for my own mental health to have to spend every waking moment of my time at home worried about which cat is where and who needs attention and switched to what room when with what treat as a reward for what behavior. Feliway doesn't seem to work. Just...what do we do?
Cat A is very nervous when Cat B is around and will hiss if Cat B gets too close. Cat B will get very big pupils and chase Cat A if Cat A is caught anywhere other than our bedroom. If Cat A hisses, Cat B get a poofy erect tail in addition to the chasing and pupil dialation.
We think the issue started because Cat B would fall asleep downstairs and wake up to discover we were asleep upstairs with Cat A (in some instances with the bedroom door shut). We didn't always shut the door but they sometimes get noisy at night so we would shut it occasionally. We started hearing her sad meows from downstairs a week or two before the incident although we didn't always have the door shut so it was never clear why she felt this abandoned or if we interpreted her meows correctly. We would go down and check on her and she would act fine but not even follow us upstairs. (Part of the meowing may have been a catnip toy she found).
Anyways, since we never had any luck with the original introduction at the other apartment and since the fighting seems like it could have been the result of attachment to the humans and our inability to show them love at all times of the day, the traditional "reintroduction" seems like it won't and isn't working. We feed them on both sides of the door. Nobody attacks each other during the food time when the door is open and we shut the door and continue this process. We occasionally let the bedroom cat out some to mingle and shut one away again when we see a fight will soon break out. We site swap and scent swap. No progress and it feels like separating the cats makes them feel neglected by us. They are lonely in the bedroom alone during the day or lonely if they have to sleep out of the bedroom. I am losing my mind. I just...don't know if I can do this whole cat separation routine again. It's not good for my own mental health to have to spend every waking moment of my time at home worried about which cat is where and who needs attention and switched to what room when with what treat as a reward for what behavior. Feliway doesn't seem to work. Just...what do we do?
