Hi all.
I have two cats that were best friends (sleeping together, licking each other, etc) after an easy initial 2 week introduction process in 2020, when one was a kitten and the other a mature kitty.
Now the kitten is almost 4 and the other cat is 12+ years old.
Marshy is the young cat, and has always been fearful and was diagnosed with kitty anxiety after having a urinary blockage 2 years ago, which we've worked around by having a urinary SO diet. He has always been fearful of new people, or loud noises, but has the sweetest temperament of any of the dozens of cats I've ever met. The absolutely sweetest cat.
.
We had an issue of redirected aggression 3-4 months ago, where our older cat pounced at our back door when a neighbors dog was on the other side of it, then older cat immediately pounced on our other cat Marshy who was sitting next to him, when he couldn't get at the dog outside. They had their first ever full on fight that I had to break up. No real injuries to either cat, though I got scratched.
They were both immediately separated, and we began the reintroduction process after a few slip ups where our kids accidentally let a cat out of their safe room a day or so after the fight, which resulted in aggressive behavior/attempted fights when they encountered each other.
We have been doing the reintroduction for over 3 months now, and the logistics alone of feeding time with a toddler and other child, it is wearing heavily on us.
We originally had two safe rooms. Our master bedroom for the anxious cat, and repurposed the basement for the older cat. We have been allowing one to freely roam our house for 4-5 hours a day while the other is in their safe room, then swapping places. We recently transitioned 2 weeks ago to a single safe room, our decent sized basement room. Both cats always have access to food, water and a litter box.
The older cat has been chilled out for a long time. No aggression on his end anymore, he is not stressed by our younger cat.
We moved through the scent swapping phase easily, as neither cat was even bothered by the scent of each other, and were just fine spending time in the main house when the other was in their safe room. The younger anxious cat will first explore to make sure the other cat was nowhere to be found, then eventually relax enough to freely roam after about 5-10 minutes.
We moved to feeding on opposite side of a door for a few days, which went well and was easy. We then moved to having all meals (breakfast and dinner) from the safety of baby gates/screen about 10 feet apart, just in front of an open door so the anxious cat couldn't quite see the older cat, then moved to the food bowl just outside the door, but with a screen on his side, and baby gate 10 ft away on the older cats side.
We were able to slowly move the baby gate closer to about 6 ft, only had a couple hissing incidents (all from the younger anxious cat) during feeding time, and immediately ended the session. We had a hissing incident when they were like 5 ft away, in which the older cat was looking (not death staring) at the younger cat while eating, because my wife wasn't home and I had to do feeding time solo, and the younger cat probably felt threatened by the steady gaze.
We play with the younger cat to start the feeding sessions if we can to get him in a playful mood.
The issue is, in the past few days, the younger cat has severely regressed. He hides under our bed much more, and is fearful whenever we get close a lot of the time because he is so used to us picking him up and bringing him to our bedroom or the safe room as part of our daily switching time to have one free roam and one in the safe room. The older cat can safely go outside and come back, the younger cat is an indoor only cat, as the few times he's been outside beyond on our deck he does not come back as easily as the other cat.
The younger cat has not gone to eat his food with the older cat present in several days, and barely had any dinner last night, and none this morning.
We took him 2 days ago to the vet to get checked out and put on anxiety medication, which was suggested several years ago when he had a urinary blockage before all of this conflict. He had a bunch of matted fur on his bottom area, which they clipped. The rest of his body seems pretty well groomed though and they found no other causes for concern medically.
We are on day 3 of kitty Prozac, which takes several week to kick in, if it works at all.
I thought that maybe we rushed it and tried the last two days to take a step back and eat with food bowls on either side of the safe room doors, but the younger cat wasn't really willing to do this when we tried.
This morning, I tried to do what we had been doing for months before using the baby gates/screen at about 10 ft apart, but he would only come out from under the bed when I gave him a treat, then almost immediately went back under the bed.
We are at our wits end and do not want to hire a cat behaviorist. My wife talks about wanting to basically have them just sort it out, but we both know that won't work with cats, unless there is some method I haven't found on the internet.
I am looking for help as we are not going to rehome either of them, but we cannot live our lives with them separate forever, it won't work.
Should we go back and start over with the either side of a door eating? Then work back up to visual contact from 10 ft away, working to slowly close to gap?
Did we overlook anything? I know it takes patience, but I'm so frustrated, especially considering we were doing so well for awhile for weeks and then all of a sudden Marshy isn't wanting to come out to eat.
We have a screen door in our doorframe that the cats could try swatting at each other, but won't be able to do real damage because it's a plastic tent-like screen.
We also have multiple baby gates we have been using at our disposal.
Also, we have been using a Feliway multi cat for two months. One in the safe room, one in the main living room. We noticed a small difference the first few days, but that's it. We are one refill in.Also, we have been using a Feliway multi cat for two months. One in the safe room, one in the main living room. We noticed a small difference the first few days, but that's it. We are one refill in.
Help!
Pics of sweet cats.
I have two cats that were best friends (sleeping together, licking each other, etc) after an easy initial 2 week introduction process in 2020, when one was a kitten and the other a mature kitty.
Now the kitten is almost 4 and the other cat is 12+ years old.
Marshy is the young cat, and has always been fearful and was diagnosed with kitty anxiety after having a urinary blockage 2 years ago, which we've worked around by having a urinary SO diet. He has always been fearful of new people, or loud noises, but has the sweetest temperament of any of the dozens of cats I've ever met. The absolutely sweetest cat.
.
We had an issue of redirected aggression 3-4 months ago, where our older cat pounced at our back door when a neighbors dog was on the other side of it, then older cat immediately pounced on our other cat Marshy who was sitting next to him, when he couldn't get at the dog outside. They had their first ever full on fight that I had to break up. No real injuries to either cat, though I got scratched.
They were both immediately separated, and we began the reintroduction process after a few slip ups where our kids accidentally let a cat out of their safe room a day or so after the fight, which resulted in aggressive behavior/attempted fights when they encountered each other.
We have been doing the reintroduction for over 3 months now, and the logistics alone of feeding time with a toddler and other child, it is wearing heavily on us.
We originally had two safe rooms. Our master bedroom for the anxious cat, and repurposed the basement for the older cat. We have been allowing one to freely roam our house for 4-5 hours a day while the other is in their safe room, then swapping places. We recently transitioned 2 weeks ago to a single safe room, our decent sized basement room. Both cats always have access to food, water and a litter box.
The older cat has been chilled out for a long time. No aggression on his end anymore, he is not stressed by our younger cat.
We moved through the scent swapping phase easily, as neither cat was even bothered by the scent of each other, and were just fine spending time in the main house when the other was in their safe room. The younger anxious cat will first explore to make sure the other cat was nowhere to be found, then eventually relax enough to freely roam after about 5-10 minutes.
We moved to feeding on opposite side of a door for a few days, which went well and was easy. We then moved to having all meals (breakfast and dinner) from the safety of baby gates/screen about 10 feet apart, just in front of an open door so the anxious cat couldn't quite see the older cat, then moved to the food bowl just outside the door, but with a screen on his side, and baby gate 10 ft away on the older cats side.
We were able to slowly move the baby gate closer to about 6 ft, only had a couple hissing incidents (all from the younger anxious cat) during feeding time, and immediately ended the session. We had a hissing incident when they were like 5 ft away, in which the older cat was looking (not death staring) at the younger cat while eating, because my wife wasn't home and I had to do feeding time solo, and the younger cat probably felt threatened by the steady gaze.
We play with the younger cat to start the feeding sessions if we can to get him in a playful mood.
The issue is, in the past few days, the younger cat has severely regressed. He hides under our bed much more, and is fearful whenever we get close a lot of the time because he is so used to us picking him up and bringing him to our bedroom or the safe room as part of our daily switching time to have one free roam and one in the safe room. The older cat can safely go outside and come back, the younger cat is an indoor only cat, as the few times he's been outside beyond on our deck he does not come back as easily as the other cat.
The younger cat has not gone to eat his food with the older cat present in several days, and barely had any dinner last night, and none this morning.
We took him 2 days ago to the vet to get checked out and put on anxiety medication, which was suggested several years ago when he had a urinary blockage before all of this conflict. He had a bunch of matted fur on his bottom area, which they clipped. The rest of his body seems pretty well groomed though and they found no other causes for concern medically.
We are on day 3 of kitty Prozac, which takes several week to kick in, if it works at all.
I thought that maybe we rushed it and tried the last two days to take a step back and eat with food bowls on either side of the safe room doors, but the younger cat wasn't really willing to do this when we tried.
This morning, I tried to do what we had been doing for months before using the baby gates/screen at about 10 ft apart, but he would only come out from under the bed when I gave him a treat, then almost immediately went back under the bed.
We are at our wits end and do not want to hire a cat behaviorist. My wife talks about wanting to basically have them just sort it out, but we both know that won't work with cats, unless there is some method I haven't found on the internet.
I am looking for help as we are not going to rehome either of them, but we cannot live our lives with them separate forever, it won't work.
Should we go back and start over with the either side of a door eating? Then work back up to visual contact from 10 ft away, working to slowly close to gap?
Did we overlook anything? I know it takes patience, but I'm so frustrated, especially considering we were doing so well for awhile for weeks and then all of a sudden Marshy isn't wanting to come out to eat.
We have a screen door in our doorframe that the cats could try swatting at each other, but won't be able to do real damage because it's a plastic tent-like screen.
We also have multiple baby gates we have been using at our disposal.
Also, we have been using a Feliway multi cat for two months. One in the safe room, one in the main living room. We noticed a small difference the first few days, but that's it. We are one refill in.Also, we have been using a Feliway multi cat for two months. One in the safe room, one in the main living room. We noticed a small difference the first few days, but that's it. We are one refill in.
Help!
Pics of sweet cats.
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