My dear, I understand why you feel that way. Please consider this...I think, deep inside me, that one reason these beautiful, small souls with their terribly short lives, come into our own lives is to teach us that we can love deeply, we can lose that love and greive deeply, and we can somehow love again...even knowing that there will be loss. We cannot protect ourselves from grief without protecting ourselves from joy, as well. I know you grief is raw, and tearing at you, but if you will allow yourself to heal, it will also mean that Meowsy's life had meaning beyond just time spent with you. That you are honoring the lesson of lving, and losing, and finding the strenght to love again, some day. SHE would not want you to join her before your time, and where she waits, time has no meaning. A day or a decade, it is nothing to her now. She will be there in the fullness of time.