Cat Is Very Needy, Not Sure How To Handle It

[mattig89ch]

Hello all,

I have a wonderful orange cat named Borris. I am his third owner, first adopted by a woman I don't know, then adopted by my sisters friend who couldn't keep him (aparment living arangements). So now he's living in my house, and has really attached to me.

When my parents get home, yes I still live with my folks (its LI, not exactly uncommon), she tells me he's acting really depressed that I'm not around. He likes her well enough, and can normally cuddle with him till he's ok. But this behavior has me worried. Worried, because it seems like he's very needy. And if I should ever go away on vacation for a week or two, what would happen to him?

I would think I'd just adopt another cat, but we can't really afford one at the moment. Really, we can barely afford to keep him and my dog fed, and checked up on with vet visits.

I'm not sure if there's a way to make him more independent. So I wanted to ask if there was such a way.

 

[DreamerRose]

I don't think there is. He's been passed around a couple of times and he's now afraid his people will leave him again. Loving him and giving him as much attention as you can is about all you can do. If you can, get some toys that you can use to play with him. He will love this. Most cats really like those wand toys. Once he learns you aren't going to give him away, he will be more comfortable.

Welcome to the Cat Site! Lots of people will chime in and give you more ideas.

 

[recurringecho]

Well... not a cat, but my dog was also passed around and was very anxious and clingy when I first adopted her. And then two weeks later I got locked out of my apartment for a couple hours(oof) and no one was in the apartment with her. She did not like that. Started crying and howling. But after I returned and she realized that she's not going to be abandoned again, she calmed down and learned over several weeks that it's fine. Now I can leave her for hours at a time without being worried.

Anyways, my point is that while it is possible for your cat to become more independent, it's a process. How long have you had him? Are you his primary caretaker? Like Rose stated, it's very likely that he's afraid he'd be abandoned again. If possible, try having your mom play with him at the same time you are. Pass the same toys to her and back again so he can associate your mom as another playmate. Have your mom feed him, cuddle with him, give him treats, and do as many things you do for him too, even if you are there.

How long have you been away from him so far? I'd suggest taking it slow. Is he okay for half an hour after you leave? If not, I'd start there and work up.

 

[mattig89ch]

I've had him for 2ish years now. I've had 2 points where I've been away for a few days (no more then 3 each time), and I do try to go out and have a social life every day. I go out for 3-5 hours, then I come home. When I have time off of work, I do try to have him right next to me, or on my lap, but he moves slightly away (then starts purring loudly).

Also, I actually don't know how to play with cats. I have one of those wands, with string and some thing with a bell at the end of it. But every time I've tried to play with a cat with one of those, they get bored after something like 30 seconds. I have a laser pointer which he loves to chase, but even that gets boring after a few minutes. By boring, I mean, they'll watch it, but they won't pounce on it, or chase it.

I also have an odd work schedule, I work for 4 days strait, and have 3 days off. During those 4 days, I'm away from the house for 14 hours. Not sure if this has something to do with it, or not. Just is what it is.