Cat intros - Where do I go from here?

[Squeaky_W]

Hi,

I first just want to say I've been lurking around this site for a while, reading up on the cat intro stories and found a wealth of knowledge and replies to those stories which has helped see things and interpret situations a whole lot better and immensely helped me no end in the intro process so thank you

I also read on here about cat music - I'm playing it now when they see eachother and I think im a bit more relaxed too

On to the very long post, sorry about that!

I'm hoping someone will be able to offer some advice on my intro -

I'm 2 months in to the intro process. I have 3 resident female cats, Beany, Boo and Shorty who are 10 years old, I've had them since kittens.
Beany and Boo are litter mates and I got Shorty about 6 months after them. None of them are bonded and Shorty and Beany kind of avoid eachother and have done since early on.

2 months ago I got a male kitten called Budley who was 9 weeks old at the time (he has just recently been neutered and they are all spayed)

I have taken everything slowly, scent and site swapping (no issues with scent at all), feeding behind doors and barriers etc.

After a few weeks we were feeding without any barriers and had the occasional hiss but no issues at all.

I about a week later I had supervised short visits with Boo first, Boo is a more laid back cat so I thought that it would make sense to try her first. Occasional hiss from Boo but that stopped pretty quickly.

I do have to watch Budley and Boo sometimes as he will start to play rough and Boo will hiss and make noises at him but he sometimes won't stop. After these tussles they are both all ok, no hiding or any different behaviour, I've even had them napping either side of me 10 mins after it as well.

I've bought Budley a flapping fish toy and also another toy that I will redirect him with so he can wrestle that and will try and play with him before they meet so some of his energy levels are lower.

Beany has been largely ok, a few hisses, a few swats but that's about it which was actually surprising to me as she was the one that didn't like Shorty at all in the beginning.

Budley has been a little bolder with Beany recently - she was sitting in her spot and he whacked her on the back and he laid down ready to play, she looked at him and then looked at me as if to say what in the fluff was that but paid him no attention and he hasn't done that since.

Shorty is the one I'm having issues with and the reason I'm here for some advice.

She has had no issues with scent but would hiss and growl at him when he was in his room with the door closed, this did calm down a bit so I moved on to visuals.
I bought a zipped screen door thing that you stick to the frame, and she would sit about 5 feet away, hiss and wouldn't take her eyes off him, wouldn't get that close and I couldn't distract her at all.

After a while she would still hiss a bit but could manage to distract her so I could see that it was slowly getting better, she just seems to hiss on sight of him.

I started very very short sessions with her but she would hiss growl and run away.
Sessions got slightly longer and she will still hiss and growl but will sometimes just turn her back on him or sit and groom for a bit before hissing and leaving.

Sometimes she will sprint off and when I go to see her she has her play face on, it sometimes feels like she wants to play but not around him, or the others for that matter.

I know from reading up on this site that if she felt threatened or if there were serious issues then she wouldn't take her eyes off him at all so it does seem ok and I know that hissing and growling are part of the process but Budley doesn't seem to be getting the hints from her at all.

He's getting more curious about her, she hisses and walks off, he follows, she turns and hisses and he follows so I try and stop him following by distracting as best I can.

Feeding is still fine, they have even touched noses a few times while they wait for me get their food, sometimes the nose touches is followed by a hiss from shorty but no reall issues.

I work from home so block off the upstairs while I'm working and limit Shorty's interactions during the day.

I wanted to get some advice as it feels like I've been at this stage for a while now and have a few questions -

During the process for all cats I would give them all treats when they would meet. Sometimes Shorty will hiss even before I can get a treat anywhere near her so I leave it a few mins and then give her a treat if she hasn't hissed in that time as I don't want it to seem like I'm rewarding the hissing, is this ok?

Shall I just continue what I'm doing at the moment, take it back any steps or do I let the intros with Shorty play out for a longer time?

Do you think that after time this will settle a bit more and Shorty will just tolerate and avoid him?

Apologies for the long post, I just wanted to get as much info out there and I'm hoping someone can advise.
Thanks.

P.s As I'm writing this they are currently sleeping about 2 feet away from each other, sometimes I get so confused with the behaviour

 

[Squeaky_W]

Cat pictures to add -

Budley:

Beany in all her fluffy glory:

Boo Boo:

Shorty:

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi! Thanks for the pics of your cute cats! I think you sound like you have the situation under control and are doing the right things. It seems as if they are making reasonable progress for 2 months - it is usually harder to get older cats to adapt to a new young one, so it can definitely go slower than what you are experiencing. Keep up what you are doing, and I expect things will continue to gradually improve as time passes.

It could be that Shorty will never be best buds with Budley, but will probably end up 'tolerating' him. However, that could change as Budley matures and Shorty may not find him to be so annoying then!

 

[Squeaky_W]

Hi, thanks for replying.

Yeah I'm counting myself a bit lucky given the time that's passed so far.

There was a moment a bit earlier when I was playing with Shorty and Budley was watching, he then approached and Shorty hissed at him. He ran off and then Shorty chased a bit while growling and trying to swat a little at him. She did walk away straight after.

I sometimes wonder if, even though she hisses and growls at bit, that she is in someway trying to play but doesn't quite know how to handle it.
There's been a few times when she is in a bit of a playful mood, laying on her side and he has run past and she reached out a paw, didn't seem aggressive or anything and she didn't go after him - I don't know, maybe I'm hoping that it issometimes just a bit of play and nothing serious

I'll keep at the slow and steady approach

 

[FeebysOwner]

The big thing to watch for is that Budley doesn't totally freak out around Shorty, and if Shorty goes after him, and yet he still approaches her or seems comfortable enough to be around her, they will probably work it out over more time.

 

[BoaztheAdventureCat]

You can only wait so long for the cats to work it out themselves. I waited for months for my then kitten Boaz and my Dad's kitten Posie to work out their issues themselves and it just grew worse. Like Budley and Shorty, Boaz would not take a hint when Posie would hiss, growl, scream, or swat at him to tell him she had had enough.

The root of Boaz's problem, and likely Budley's problem, too, is that Boaz was a solitary kitten for his first 2 months with me. Two months alone was long enough for the damage done to become permanent. To this day he struggles with social awkwardness around Posie and my brother's cat Asher (we all live under the same roof).

If Boaz had come home with another kitten, he would likely be much more respectful of other cats and their wishes. There are certain behaviors that can only be learned best if taught by another cat.

Your other 3 cats are much older than Budley. The needs of play and attention for your kitten and your 3 ten-year olds are too different for the four to be compatible easily. This is just my opinion from what I've learned in my study of cat behavior and my own experience with my family's cats, but it might be worth serious consideration.

I think it would be great if you could adopt a second kitten about Budley's age and do it quickly. That way, Budley will have a playmate closer to his age and activity level who will help him get his energy out and learn the importance of respect.

However, too many cats in one house can lead to behavior problems as well. In their natural state, cats are BOTH solitary and social (How's that for confusing??). Cat colonies are usually made of a mother cat and some of the kittens that chose not to leave. The outdoor cats that are solitary are usually males who only hang around the edge of a cat colony for purposes of finding a mate.

Cats can get along great together IF they have plenty of everything they need! Cats are used to living with LOTS OF SPACE, sleeping places, hiding places, climbing places, hunting areas and watering areas.

Have you ever wondered why you hear almost constant cat fights at the local cat hoarder's house? It's because there are too many cats with too little space. (I'm not accusing you of being a cat hoarder, LOL.)

If you believe your house is big enough to accomodate (sp?) one more kitten, I'd encourage you to get another kitten Budley's age. On the flip side, because "too much of a good thing is not a good thing for anyone", you may have too many cats and need to re-home one or a few.

Let us know what you decide to do!

Best wishes to you and yours.

 

[Squeaky_W]

The big thing to watch for is that Budley doesn't totally freak out around Shorty, and if Shorty goes after him, and yet he still approaches her or seems comfortable enough to be around her, they will probably work it out over more time.

He does seem to be ok so far and that was the first time she's chased a bit, it's usually her hissing and walking away so I was a bit surprised. I will definitely keep an eye on it.

B BoaztheAdventureCat

Cats are confusing!!

I did consider another kitten, I know 2 can keep each other occupied but then was worried that having 2 of them running about would be twice as bother for the girls.

I'll have another good think about it

 

[Squeaky_W]

Hi,

Just a small update.

As Budley has now figured out he can jump a lot higher, yesterday I had to redo my barrier system upstairs as he started jumping on the bannister at the top of the stairs and I had only blocked off the gap.

Here's Budley looking utterly defeated by my totally elaborate (hacky) barrier

Are there any awards for the best/worst/most hacky cat barriers at all?!? I think I could be in the running for the most hackiest!
Note: the cardboard slides behind the door so I can get in and out

Once I did this Shorty decided to spend most of the day upstairs anyway! so I've been trialing an open barrier system - I kinda figured that I was hovering a lot, waiting for something to happen and I wasn't sure if my constant apprehensive presence wasn't helping matters. I was still in earshot but in the next room and would check if I heard a hiss.

So yesterday Budley was still following Shorty around a bit and she was still hissing at him but I could distract him away when necessary.

At around 9:30pm last night he finally got close enough and tapped her on the back and ran off, she hissed and walked off. I took Budley upstairs to play for a bit.

Today they have been ok, some hissing from Shorty, some following but not as bad, some nose kisses with no hissing and some sleeping on my bed - Budley was on the bed first then Shorty jumped up.

I'm hoping that opening up the whole house will allow for some further distractions if that makes sense, I was wondering - as they don't interact that much is it more of a novelty when Budley sees her at the minute and must follow and as I'm writing this Shorty is upstairs and Budley is downstairs.

I'll see how this goes and will certainly be keeping Budley in his room at night and when I go out as we are definitely a way off from that!

Actually that wasn't such a small update, sorry