Cat introduction saga month 8

saharahoshi

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We have visual contact finally based on advice from here and our behaviorist. We have a blanket up and are doing this slowly. So far our 10 yr old grumpy lady hisses and pistures but doesn't do anything. The 1.5 yr old backs off immediately. As much as I would love a more happy zen process ypu can read previous posts. Thanks to everyone who suggested visual exposure hopefully we will get there by month 12.
 

di and bob

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Females will be grumpy in the best of times against newcomers. Hissing, swatting, and growling are all perfectly normal. The longest I have ever had to do introductions was a year, so by then they should be able to get along.
 
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saharahoshi

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Yeah we did have the whole he wanted to play she didn't fur flying thing, he's a mini holding. How long did you leave the visuals out? For example yesterday we did an hr, today is 2, etc. We are trying to do as much as we can while sharing a quarantine space we both work in. Right now neither wants to approach the baby gates gate let alone look at each other.
 

di and bob

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that sounds like a plan. They need to get used to seeing each other, they will eventually approach each other. Remember, growling. hissing and swatting are normal, they are teaching each other where their limits are.
 
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saharahoshi

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So we've been doing it, so far our younger cat just wants out and our older cat likes to hide and maybe hiss when she passes the gate which is like one time each day. Enticing with treats or playtime on both sides right now is a no go so maybe we keep doing this until it becomes a thing? We're out of Feliway so I grabbed some more of that (actual Feliway Multicat with the diffuser, we have some for a while we were just low), we've used the calming treats, Quiet Moments Calming Aid with Melatonin, and they both have a very nice set up, each has their own cat tree, multiple scratching posts, boxes/places to hide/chill out. At this point yeah, I think we are taking it slow and I can't think of too much else we can do until they get used to the whole thing.
 
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saharahoshi

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I guess a brief update as we are now on Month 11 - due to human illness, job layoffs, and one of the cats developing an allergy problem we are still figuring out, we're back to having them separate in the door, we will put up the baby gates back up once we get the other cat feeling better. I know these excuses sound lame, but we'd rather try and keep them calm/anxiety free in the process as possible and not add to the additional stress of them not feeling well.
 

di and bob

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You don't need excuses, there really is no time limit on this. If you are doing what feels right and is doable for you, that is what it takes. Most of us don't have the patience, time and are able to put up with the inconvenience. i commend you for going slow, mine took a year before they stopped trying to kill each other and called a truce!
 
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saharahoshi

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Yeah it's been hard, we love both of them and they seem to have a good quality of life, we've just had set backs.
 

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:hangin:You will get there! Remember the goal is tolerance not bff! Are you feeding both of them on the other side of the baby gate? Site swapping? Petting one with a clean unscented sock (especially around the ears and chin) then petting the other cat with the sock over your hand? Basically just trying to get them both to have the same communal smell. I have heard of people brushing one cat then the other to.

Since it is taking so long, maybe it is time to talk to the vet about medicating the more aggressive cat with something like prozac cream? Just to get them over the initial hump? I wish I had known about prozac when we moved in & my cat was bullying a senior kitty! 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
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saharahoshi

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Both cats are on kitty Prozac at the recommendation of a vet who is also a feline behaviorist. Right now the younger one is having diarrhea caused by allergies so we're keeping the door shut (originally had the baby gates up) because we don't want to add more stress when he's not feeling good, he just got over a sort of sore in his mouth due to allergies and we are working on figuring out what the heck it is, we took him to the kitty dentist/dental specialist so we're on phase 2 of a food elimination diet (is that how you say it when you narrow down the diet to like hypoallergenic foods).

Our other cat has feline idiopathic cystitis (someone on here already told me we shouldn't have adopted another cat when we have her but we didn't know and it's almost been a year now so....) so we are also being very sensitive to her needs as well. I think as soon as we get our boy feeling better we can go back to the baby gates. He's super sweet, just really wants to play (she doesn't) and is also a bit of a scaredy cat otherwise (he ran away from the washing machine this morning). We actually adopted him because at the shelter there were two declaws (our girl is not declawed) our senior kitty's age and he backed down immediately/rolled over and we talked to our vet before we adopted so hindsight is 20-20.
 
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