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- #21
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Cat intro help!!
- Thread starter Calr0007
- Start Date
Not much going on there. Marley isn't acting up and recognizes he can't really see anything, so he just sat down. Probably wondering what the heck is going on! 
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- #23
Haha! He did that for a minute and she must have moved a little because he got up and charged the gate, stuck his paws through clawing and was crying.Not much going on there. Marley isn't acting up and recognizes he can't really see anything, so he just sat down. Probably wondering what the heck is going on!
I just shut the door and am taking a break. Nelly didn’t get up from her bed as far as I can tell, I forgot to put the camera down there to see. I think I’ll try it again shortly.
Is it silly that I want him to be calm when I open it more? Or really just rip the bandaid off and move on?! I am just so scared, this is ridiculous!
Too bad you didn't catch all that for others to see. He has anticipation too, so don't expect him to be calm. I also am not sure that you shouldn't be closer when you do crack/open the door - maybe he will take cues from you and not go so wild.
You can only do what you feel is best for both of them, and what you are comfortable with.
You can only do what you feel is best for both of them, and what you are comfortable with.
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- #25
Ok!! This morning I cracked it enough so that he would be able to see her if she stay where she was but she hid. Anyway, I think major progress. He was aggressive at all, the energy felt different. He was still trying to get through the gate but no head butting it and no crying. I have to go to work so I’ll keep her door shut but when I get home we will try again with play time. I will open the door more and if she hides she hides, I am just glad Marley is getting more calm.
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- #26
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- #27
Nelly’s door has been open since Sunday (when I am home) and we removed the baby gate today. Marley is being so good. Nelly is still afraid to approach the screen but she is getting better. She will come out and sit so he can see her and she can see him just still far away. We are making progress! Now the really hard part soon… getting them face to face. I am a bit nervous to do it by myself. Slow and steady seems to be working though.
Are you planning on site swapping at all, in order to get Nelly being comfortable in other parts of the house? I suspect that some of her hesitancy is because she knows nothing other than that room. Site swapping is when Marley is placed in a confined area, some of the time in Nelly's safe zone, while allowing Nelly to explore a bit so she can 'feel out' other places in the home without having to be full-on exposed to Marely.
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- #29
Yes, I have been wanting to do that. Marley has been in her room lots, I had just put her in the bathroom in those instances. Marley is just such a pill when he’s confined.
Do you think I should let her explore on her own or follow her? I have a small house, not a ton of places to hide but she is a tiny girl!
I probably would start with a room, then maybe another room, and so on, before giving her 'carte blanche' to the entire place at once. And, it would be a good idea to follow her around. You can observe how she is reacting to everything, and keep her out of trouble! She will also know you are there for her.
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- #31
Ok!! I will try putting her in my room next, that’s the only other room I have haha. Both bedrooms are upstairs and downstairs is one floor with kitchen, dining, and living room all one big room. I’ll start with my room and I am sure that will start to help her feel more comfortable. Thank you!
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- #32
Nelly just sat on her scratch pad right in front of the screen and played with her bird toy, she didn’t seem worried about him at all, he just watched like an angel.
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- #33
They are eating closer together! I have let Nelly out while Marley is locked up in my room but she is too scared to walk down the stairs. I hope by end of the day tomorrow she will find the courage, I don’t want to force her. Once she is confident in the house, I know I need to let them be together. Any tips other than just staying close by or trying toys to distract? Marley is very food motivated and so is she so maybe breakfast time is the best time to have them meet? Eek!Nelly just sat on her scratch pad right in front of the screen and played with her bird toy, she didn’t seem worried about him at all, he just watched like an angel.
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Okay
C
Calr0007
I'm late to your party so forgive me if I'm a bit unclear on what point you are up to
Typically it takes a new cat around 30 days to establish their " safe room" as THEIR territory- with being patient and giving a new kitty time to do that it's a great start for them to feel safe and secure and well prepared for further exploration to " slowly" expand thst territory
Rushing any new cat to meet a resident cat before they've established a little part of this very unfamiliar place as their own can often create unnecessary anxiety ( greater or lesser depends on the cats personalities too but you don't want to find out the hard way that their personalities vastly differ when you can make the intros go as smoothly and stress free for both the new Cat and the resident cat
So it's not the best idea to take a kitty from the designated safe room to let's say a room upstairs- far from the newly established territory.... these are things that can make for difficult intros ahead
Sight is the last step of the Intro process unless you have 2 very chilled "cat friendly" cats meeting...... scent is how they get to know each other and get comfortable with that familiar scent and are more apt to be willing to share that territory with one another
Expanding territory should bd( if possible) by giving more and more room outside the safe room little at a time- once kitty has explored more space and is comfortable you open up more ...... going upstairs should be when the cat is so confident downstairs that he is willing and curious to venture up the steps- after about 30 days you can carry kitty up and right back down,placing him exactly where you picked him up from- thst usually sparks the curiosity( oh hmm,Mom did it,nothing scarey)
I'd suggest slowing down a little
Typically it takes a new cat around 30 days to establish their " safe room" as THEIR territory- with being patient and giving a new kitty time to do that it's a great start for them to feel safe and secure and well prepared for further exploration to " slowly" expand thst territory
Rushing any new cat to meet a resident cat before they've established a little part of this very unfamiliar place as their own can often create unnecessary anxiety ( greater or lesser depends on the cats personalities too but you don't want to find out the hard way that their personalities vastly differ when you can make the intros go as smoothly and stress free for both the new Cat and the resident cat
So it's not the best idea to take a kitty from the designated safe room to let's say a room upstairs- far from the newly established territory.... these are things that can make for difficult intros ahead
Sight is the last step of the Intro process unless you have 2 very chilled "cat friendly" cats meeting...... scent is how they get to know each other and get comfortable with that familiar scent and are more apt to be willing to share that territory with one another
Expanding territory should bd( if possible) by giving more and more room outside the safe room little at a time- once kitty has explored more space and is comfortable you open up more ...... going upstairs should be when the cat is so confident downstairs that he is willing and curious to venture up the steps- after about 30 days you can carry kitty up and right back down,placing him exactly where you picked him up from- thst usually sparks the curiosity( oh hmm,Mom did it,nothing scarey)
I'd suggest slowing down a little
What you are thinking of doing is fine. Just don't rush it.
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- #36
Thank you for the comments! I am pretty far along. It’s been 4 weeks and 8 if you count the 4 before I took her in feeding her on my patio. It is a glass door and Marley could see her every day. At that time I had no intention of taking her in, I wanted to find her a home but no one would take her. She is too sweet to live outside.Okay C Calr0007 I'm late to your party so forgive me if I'm a bit unclear on what point you are up to
Typically it takes a new cat around 30 days to establish their " safe room" as THEIR territory- with being patient and giving a new kitty time to do that it's a great start for them to feel safe and secure and well prepared for further exploration to " slowly" expand thst territory
Rushing any new cat to meet a resident cat before they've established a little part of this very unfamiliar place as their own can often create unnecessary anxiety ( greater or lesser depends on the cats personalities too but you don't want to find out the hard way that their personalities vastly differ when you can make the intros go as smoothly and stress free for both the new Cat and the resident cat
So it's not the best idea to take a kitty from the designated safe room to let's say a room upstairs- far from the newly established territory.... these are things that can make for difficult intros ahead
Sight is the last step of the Intro process unless you have 2 very chilled "cat friendly" cats meeting...... scent is how they get to know each other and get comfortable with that familiar scent and are more apt to be willing to share that territory with one another
Expanding territory should bd( if possible) by giving more and more room outside the safe room little at a time- once kitty has explored more space and is comfortable you open up more ...... going upstairs should be when the cat is so confident downstairs that he is willing and curious to venture up the steps- after about 30 days you can carry kitty up and right back down,placing him exactly where you picked him up from- thst usually sparks the curiosity( oh hmm,Mom did it,nothing scarey)
I'd suggest slowing down a little
I have a two bedroom townhouse with both bedrooms upstairs so I don’t have a ton of options. I brought her in the upstairs guest room (base camp) and for the last few weeks she has been in here. She is comfortable, content, has toys, litter, food, and water. 2 of those weeks recovering from spay. She is ready to get out of this room and Marley has been really good. I just let her out yesterday to roam the house while Marley was locked in my room. She was hesitant at first but made her way downstairs by herself to explore. I was with her for a while then I let her be solo to be with Marley, I could see her on the camera and she would return back to her safe room when she was done exploring. Then I would shut the screen and let Marley out.
They have been eating with each other at the screen. I haven’t heard a hiss or a growl from either of them at this stage. Today we started play time at the screen. As I am typing, the toy is down and they are both laying down contently near the screen ready for a nap. I plan on doing this as long as it takes!
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- #37
Thank you. I’ll continue to feed and do play times with the screen up for a while longer. My heart can’t take starting over. Now that Nelly has been out of the room she wants out and has been scaling the screen door. It hasn’t budged thank goodness.
Oh perfect- territory is established- from the looks of your photo( I thought you got your kitty when you started this thread- lol)it looks like you might could open the gate to see who would like to do what...
Both cats are handleable for you?
I think I skipped a page.,sorry
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- #39
Totally ok! I posted a lot in my desperation! Marley will bite me. He is 7 and I got him at 7 weeks because his mom and siblings were attacked by a dog so he has zero social skills and I let him walk all over me since I got him. He only bites when over stimulated or upset
so that will likely be how he is if I try to break him away from her if it goes south.Nelly I don’t think she would do a thing but she is 1-2years old (according to the vet) and lived on the streets those years or my suspicion because she is so sweet, she lived inside and when she came into heat she was thrown out. Nonetheless, she had been outside for sometime so not sure how she’ll react.
My concern is more about where to do the face to face. The hallway outside of her door is very narrow, not a lot of room for play time distractions or anywhere to hide. If I pick her up and bring her downstairs where there is more room, I feel that would backfire with Marley and with her trust in me. If I open the screen he will no doubt walk right through it and that is her safe space. If I open the screen while Marley is downstairs and she comes down that might catch him off guard and be bad. There is no real good answer. I will continue on with the screen for now and who knows maybe they will start sitting next to each other at the screen without me near then I will know.
I see,,with Marley not really handleable I'd NOT just open the gate up,especially in a confined space....Totally ok! I posted a lot in my desperation! Marley will bite me. He is 7 and I got him at 7 weeks because his mom and siblings were attacked by a dog so he has zero social skills and I let him walk all over me since I got him. He only bites when over stimulated or upset
Nelly I don’t think she would do a thing but she is 1-2years old (according to the vet) and lived on the streets those years or my suspicion because she is so sweet, she lived inside and when she came into heat she was thrown out. Nonetheless, she had been outside for sometime so not sure how she’ll react.
My concern is more about where to do the face to face. The hallway outside of her door is very narrow, not a lot of room for play time distractions or anywhere to hide. If I pick her up and bring her downstairs where there is more room, I feel that would backfire with Marley and with her trust in me. If I open the screen he will no doubt walk right through it and that is her safe space. If I open the screen while Marley is downstairs and she comes down that might catch him off guard and be bad. There is no real good answer. I will continue on with the screen for now and who knows maybe they will start sitting next to each other at the screen without me near then I will know.
It is best to continue on as you are - give them snacks facing one another and make it a big deal with high praise to associate being close gets " rewards"!!!!
