Cat Hates All Human Interaction Including Petting And Play

[gleigh]

Hi Everyone!

I'm new! I joined today to ask you guys about your experience with cats who really dislike human interaction.

I rescued a black kitten two years ago at my job. His name is Orion. In March this year, I surprised my boyfriend with a 4 week old grey kitten, who he named Dante.

From the start, Dante has never liked human interaction at all. When held, he would kind of tolerate it for a second, then give a pathetic whining plead to be put down. There is no spot on his body he likes to be petted or touched. He does not enjoy playing or interacting with us at all. He is not mean at all. He is very docile and never growls, hisses, or even struggles when we hold him...he just whines this sad little "mrow" when we pick him up. He doesn't appear to be in pain at all, just irritated. He has had the same behavior since he was 4 weeks old, and he is now nearly 9 months old and he is exactly the same.

He is COMPLETELY different towards our older cat, Orion. He LOVES Orion. Actually, they love the heck out of each other. They snuggle, they groom each other. Dante will meow and call for Orion if he can't find him in the house. He is very affectionate with Orion, and allows Orion to lick his fur and lay on him...yet a human cannot even lightly pet him in the same areas without pulling away.

We tried keeping him in the bedroom with us at night so he could be near us and maybe bond with us. He would cuddle up next to us, even lay his paws over our arms or curl up on our pillows, but the minute we pet him, he gets up and walks away. He seems to enjoy being NEAR us, as long as we don't interact with him. lol! He is always following us around the house, and is almost always close by.

It's been hard for my boyfriend and I, because we feel like we cannot really bond with him since we cannot interact with him at all beyond simply being near him. We feed him, and hope that he will get close enough for us to allow a little interaction before he runs off.

Is this kind of behavior a result of trauma in the kitten's early days? Is this normal behavior for some cats? It seems incredibly odd that he loves cat interaction, but hates any human interaction. Any feedback is appreciated. We are not sure what to do for him anymore, aside from co-exist with him.

 

[susanm9006]

He sounds like an absolutely great cat. Cats show their love in lots of different ways and staring at you or wanting to sleep next to you are signs of his affection. If it makes him happy just to be near you I would settle for that and not try for more, instead let him initiate petting sessions when he feels like it. When you do pet him, try petting him on different places on his body. Some cats for example hate having their back touched but love having their nose rubbed gently from tip to forehead. Others love belly rubs. Some cats like gentle strokes and others nearly a massage. Maybe you are hitting the wrong spots for him.

In the end though he sounds like he may not be a cuddler and you won’t be able to change him. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t still adore him as he is. One other thing is that he is still a youngster and many cats get more affectionate with people as they mature. You won’t see his full personality emerge for another year or two.

 

[orange&white]

I "co-existed" with a shy little cat for 16.5 years. She was a sweet little thing but terribly anxious with any human movement. She did get on my chest for petting as long as I was stretched out on the sofa watching TV, or in bed at night. If I were sitting up, she only came close enough to sit on the back of my chair. She loved me I know, and I had another very social outgoing cat who I could've petted 24/7 and he'd have been very pleased with that. So I just loved my little shy cat too, and let her be.

Dante does not sound like an anxious cat, as much as a kitty who may be hyper-sensitive to touch. Petting may overstimulate him and feel "weird" to him. At 9 months, he is entering his "teen years", which lasts a few months. As Susanm said, he may outgrow his sensitivity to touch once he's a mature cat. It does sound like he loves you and your boyfriend. I'd certainly welcome his nighttime snuggles in bed.

 

[gleigh]

Thank you both very much! You know, he is a good cat. He doesn't cause problems at all. I guess it's just weird for us since we've never had a cat like this. I think you are right...he isn't an anxious cat in general. He just REALLY doesnt like being touched. His breathing will change and you can tell it stresses him, so we keep it short. I actually think the hypersensitivity to touch might be right on. Just holding him, he is usually fine. When we pet him, that's when his breathing changes and he wants down. Such a weird kitty! We do love him though.

He sounds like an absolutely great cat. Cats show their love in lots of different ways and staring at you or wanting to sleep next to you are signs of his affection. If it makes him happy just to be near you I would settle for that and not try for more, instead let him initiate petting sessions when he feels like it. When you do pet him, try petting him on different places on his body. Some cats for example hate having their back touched but love having their nose rubbed gently from tip to forehead. Others love belly rubs. Some cats like gentle strokes and others nearly a massage. Maybe you are hitting the wrong spots for him.

In the end though he sounds like he may not be a cuddler and you won’t be able to change him. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t still adore him as he is. One other thing is that he is still a youngster and many cats get more affectionate with people as they mature. You won’t see his full personality emerge for another year or two.

I "co-existed" with a shy little cat for 16.5 years. She was a sweet little thing but terribly anxious with any human movement. She did get on my chest for petting as long as I was stretched out on the sofa watching TV, or in bed at night. If I were sitting up, she only came close enough to sit on the back of my chair. She loved me I know, and I had another very social outgoing cat who I could've petted 24/7 and he'd have been very pleased with that. So I just loved my little shy cat too, and let her be.

Dante does not sound like an anxious cat, as much as a kitty who may be hyper-sensitive to touch. Petting may overstimulate him and feel "weird" to him. At 9 months, he is entering his "teen years", which lasts a few months. As Susanm said, he may outgrow his sensitivity to touch once he's a mature cat. It does sound like he loves you and your boyfriend. I'd certainly welcome his nighttime snuggles in bed.

 

[ArtNJ]

If you can find any time, place & body location where he will tolerate petting -- like when tired, only behind the ears, and/or only on the bed, then that is your way in. DON'T pick him up at all, and don't ever hold him in place against his wishes. Doing stuff the cat doesn't like is always counterproductive. Finding any limited situation when you can pet him, however, will, with time, allow for growth in the when and where. So there is very much still hope, especially if you have been going about it the wrong way. It is very natural to think "well I'll hold him on my lap for a minute and he'll see how nice it is to be petted" -- and it can very much mess with the process of getting your cat comfortable.

I like to think of it as akin to courting someone that doesn't currently like you that much. You want to find out what the person likes, and arrange to do that, however weird or little a thing it is. You very much don't want to try and force anything or make them uncomfortable, or any chance you had will be gone. The difference is that cats have short memories and are forgiving, so there is still hope if you can really internalize your role.

Maybe the cat just doesn't like to be touched, but I wouldn't assume it. Keep hope alive

 

[sargon]

Try hand feeding the occasional treat or petting him very lightly when you fed him food. Build those positive associations! it may take time for him to enjoy human contact, but given his fondness for your other cat, it is probably possible, to an extent, with patience.

 

[Max's Human]

Hi Everyone!

I'm new! I joined today to ask you guys about your experience with cats who really dislike human interaction.

I rescued a black kitten two years ago at my job. His name is Orion. In March this year, I surprised my boyfriend with a 4 week old grey kitten, who he named Dante.

From the start, Dante has never liked human interaction at all. When held, he would kind of tolerate it for a second, then give a pathetic whining plead to be put down. There is no spot on his body he likes to be petted or touched. He does not enjoy playing or interacting with us at all. He is not mean at all. He is very docile and never growls, hisses, or even struggles when we hold him...he just whines this sad little "mrow" when we pick him up. He doesn't appear to be in pain at all, just irritated. He has had the same behavior since he was 4 weeks old, and he is now nearly 9 months old and he is exactly the same.

He is COMPLETELY different towards our older cat, Orion. He LOVES Orion. Actually, they love the heck out of each other. They snuggle, they groom each other. Dante will meow and call for Orion if he can't find him in the house. He is very affectionate with Orion, and allows Orion to lick his fur and lay on him...yet a human cannot even lightly pet him in the same areas without pulling away.

We tried keeping him in the bedroom with us at night so he could be near us and maybe bond with us. He would cuddle up next to us, even lay his paws over our arms or curl up on our pillows, but the minute we pet him, he gets up and walks away. He seems to enjoy being NEAR us, as long as we don't interact with him. lol! He is always following us around the house, and is almost always close by.

It's been hard for my boyfriend and I, because we feel like we cannot really bond with him since we cannot interact with him at all beyond simply being near him. We feed him, and hope that he will get close enough for us to allow a little interaction before he runs off.

Is this kind of behavior a result of trauma in the kitten's early days? Is this normal behavior for some cats? It seems incredibly odd that he loves cat interaction, but hates any human interaction. Any feedback is appreciated. We are not sure what to do for him anymore, aside from co-exist with him.

 

[Max's Human]

Years ago I had a little female kitten that almost went into panicmode when picked up! She NEVER purred, but meowed like a wildcat. I honestly believed that she was dropped or thrown so anytime her feet left the ground she was scared to death! She lived 16 years and was more trusting at the end of her life but lots of patience, letting her approach me, and letting her learn on her own through picking her up at first for seconds and worked up to a minute and so on taught her she was loved and not in danger with me. She even learned to purr, but it took lots of TLC.