Cat getting mouthy and "possessive"

[lisalu]

I've had my kitty for one year now! She came to us a stray - and the first cat I've ever had - and now she is a full fledged, spoiled rotten member of the family.

Stella is a docile cat, I have literally NEVER heard her growl, snarl or even hiss. She is affectionate and playful and loves to be stroked, brushed, and petted. She even enjoys being rubbed on her belly, and begs to be picked up where she will go limp in my arms so I can't put her down. She keeps tabs on me all day long, follows me around, and does little tricks to get my attention when I'm busy. (Whoever said cats are aloof? Not this one!)

Lately, though, she has started getting a little mouthier. What she does is bite on my hand or arm if I stop petting her, clearly she is asking for more. Last night she was next to me in bed and I was petting her as I fell asleep, but every time I stopped she'd grab my hand with her teeth (I finally had to shoo her out of my room!)

Another thing she does is try to grab me and bite at my ankles to keep me from leaving a room.

What I get from this is that she is being possessive and demanding. My husband gets upset when he sees her "bite" me, but she never breaks the skin and it isn't aggression. Her clear message is, "I don't want to be put down, I don't want you to stop petting me, I don't want you to leave me."

Does anyone else have a possessive cat like this? Have I let her get TOO attached to me?

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. How old is Stella?

Typically, it is cats that are getting older that tend to get clingier - one reason is due to them telling you in their own way that they are not well. Of course, health issues can also arise in younger cats too.

If your husband isn't overly involved in your cat's care, some cats can get a bit clingy with the one who provides everything for them. If this is the case, ask your husband to start helping you more with attending to Stella - feeding, petting, playing, etc.

Other cats will get clingy when they are bored. Try playing with her or giving her interactive toys to play with when the clinginess has gone over the edge. More forms of entertainment to help with mental stimulation as well as curb boredom - cat trees/shelves, perches near windows, and perhaps add a bird feeder for her to watch. Bird/squirrel videos tor her to watch. Distraction with these types of entertainment options might start to help her realize she has other options besides just being petted by you.

Stress - due to changes in her environment and/or routines can induce clinginess. Cat calming music - there's Spotify, Youtube, Alexa cat music, RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats. How about some cat calming treats? Calming diffusers?

On the reverse about health - could be she senses something going on with yours, making her feel as if she needs to be with you more.

I'd look for anything that might connect to any of the above - including any recent changes in your household, however small they may seem to be to you - to see if you can narrow down why she might have gotten clingier and more demanding.

 

[susanm9006]

Cats are excellent at determining what works. So if grabbing an ankle or keeping you awake a little longer results in an extra pet or attention they will keep doing it. You were right to shoo her out of your room but next time do it, give her a warning to stop pestering and the next time set her outside your door and shut it for the night.

For ankle biting or grabbing, stop and face her, telling her “stop biting” in your firmest loud mom voice. Then you walk walk away and ignore her. If you catch her getting ready to grab you, you stop, face her and also give her a warning. The stare and your voice are negative tings to her and so she will learn to avoid what causes them. But it takes time and consistency.

 

[lisalu]

Hi. How old is Stella?

Typically, it is cats that are getting older that tend to get clingier - one reason is due to them telling you in their own way that they are not well. Of course, health issues can also arise in younger cats too.

If your husband isn't overly involved in your cat's care, some cats can get a bit clingy with the one who provides everything for them. If this is the case, ask your husband to start helping you more with attending to Stella - feeding, petting, playing, etc.

Other cats will get clingy when they are bored. Try playing with her or giving her interactive toys to play with when the clinginess has gone over the edge. More forms of entertainment to help with mental stimulation as well as curb boredom - cat trees/shelves, perches near windows, and perhaps add a bird feeder for her to watch. Bird/squirrel videos tor her to watch. Distraction with these types of entertainment options might start to help her realize she has other options besides just being petted by you.

Stress - due to changes in her environment and/or routines can induce clinginess. Cat calming music - there's Spotify, Youtube, Alexa cat music, RelaxMyCat and MusicForCats. How about some cat calming treats? Calming diffusers?

On the reverse about health - could be she senses something going on with yours, making her feel as if she needs to be with you more.

I'd look for anything that might connect to any of the above - including any recent changes in your household, however small they may seem to be to you - to see if you can narrow down why she might have gotten clingier and more demanding.

Stella is still young, less than two years old. "Daddy" indulges her almost as much as I do, he is the one who feeds her most of the time and he gives her treats. She does love "daddy" and asks for pets from him, but I am the one she follows everywhere, not him.

As for stimulation, this cat is completely spoiled, we built her a large catio with lots of shelves to climb, a fountain, planters with catnip, a bird feeder nearby - even a little "outhouse!" Inside she has toys, cat trees and lots of space to roam. When I say this cat is indulged, I am not kidding!

We're all healthy and nothing in our routine has changed. She has just gradually gotten more demanding of me, if anything I have OVER indulged her.

 

[game misconduct]

mission accomplished by your cat then husband is now secondplace just kidding graycie is like that when gf and i are on couch together she will "pick on"/ bother gf and step /walk on her to get next to me

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

L lisalu
A lot of times, teenage cats (approx. 6-18 months or so) are trying to fit in to a sort of pecking order within a household, a social hierarchy. It's a natural phase they can go through. They also go through phases of learning more about aggressive playtime. Is Stella the only cat in your household? Maybe your cat is at this point in her life and she wants the social hierarchy to be your husband; herself; then, lastly, you! I totally agree with FeebysOwner's post, and with Susanm9006's post too. You might have to do that sort of "confrontation" power play thing with Stella... when you try walking away to avoid ankle biting, or removing your hand from her grasp on those other occasions, you may have to turn back to her and do a "confrontation" body language stance with your eyes and voice (to show her who is boss), and say, No. Or you can hiss! (Hissing worked in my household when my cat was that age! We have a good social hierarchy now, lol.) Sometimes when you just simply withdraw your hand or arm from a cat's grasp, and "retreat" or walk away quickly, the cat sees that as an invitation to go after you a bit more! Almost a "play with prey" or "create a pecking order" type of invitation, and the cat "chases" you.