Cat gets upset when I leave the room

[lissalouie]

This is an odd issue, but I hope someone can give me some insight.

I have two cats. Rory is six and has been with me for a little over two years. Maisie is likely three and has been with us for six months.

I had another cat, Lou, who was a senior and passed away a year ago.

Back when it was just Lou and Rory, I noticed that when I was in my mom's room with Lou, Rory would start "squawking" before running into the room, pouncing on Lou, and scruffing his neck. He never used a lot of force, and Lou could easily get him off (and if he couldn't, it was easy for us to do). Afterward, he would kinda act a bit dazed before settling down.

He would also do this at night sometimes, especially if he chose to sleep in another room and woke up alone. He would cry and cry until Lou went to investigate, and then would jump him before snapping out of it and calming down.

After Lou passed, Rory would respond to me going into my mom's room by finding a specific toy of his, carrying it in his mouth, and making "sin biscuits" on the floor while crying. He would do this until I came out and took the toy from him; he was in a trance until the toy was out of his mouth.

A few months after Lou passed, Rory had a pretty extensive dental surgery. I had to take away his plushies for a little over a week as his mouth was slow to heal. The trancelike behavior stopped, but he would still cry and squawk if I went into my mom's room to talk to her.

This behavior was my biggest concern when getting a new cat. Rory loves other cats and did NOT enjoy being a solo cat much, but I imagine many cats wouldn't tolerate this behavior well.

Maisie, however, is totally unphased by it. Because yes, now that we have another cat, he has started it again. If I go into my mom's room, he will either cry until she comes to investigate or will find her and jump her. It's started happening in the middle of the night again as well.

Maisie is a baddie and immediately puts him in his place and/or demands that he wrestle with her if he's gonna act like that, but sometimes he gets her in a way where she can't immediately break free and I really hate seeing it. Again, there's no actual force or pressure, except for the fact that he's a cobby guy with a low center of gravity. Still, it's unpleasant.

I've always just wondered... why? He's never out of reach from any of us. He loves my mom and spends a lot of time in her room during the day. He has full run of the apartment all day and night. He elects to sleep in the living room and then gets frustrated when he wakes up alone. He has so many cozy places to rest and sleep everywhere. He'll even do this if I pick him up and bring him into my mom's room when I need to talk to her; he will immediately leave the room and cry until he gets it out of his system.

Has anyone else's cat ever done this? Has anything helped?

I play with him a ton. I give him a lot of love and affection. I work from home, so he is very, VERY rarely without a person in the apartment. Our place is small and often he can see us while he cries. He loved his big brother Lou and he LOVES his little sister Maisie. There's no territorial aggression or anything like that going on. I have enough enrichment and places to claim for a dozen cats.

All I know about his past is that he was rescued with his siblings as a kitten, and his original foster mother (who I believe foster failed them) passed away while they were in her care. The cats got split up, sent to various foster homes, before Rory got brought to my area. He was in a cat cafe for a few months, adopted to a family with an older cat, and then rehomed to me. I absolutely understand why he has a sort of anxious attachment style; I just don't understand this specific pattern of behavior.

Any ideas? The usual recommendations (Zyklene, Feliway, playing music and/or talk radio, etc.) do nothing for him. I'd even just love some insight into why he may act like this.

 

[Margot Lane]

Have you mentioned all this to your vet? To me it sounds part psychological part chemical. It sounds as if you are trying on all fronts to deal w/ the emotional part, but I wonder if there is something your vet could offer to sort of snap him out of it.. Maybe he just misses his mom?

 

[Kris107]

I've never experienced that. The jumping on and biting of scruff almost sounds like a dominance thing. I would assume if he was recued as a kitten, that he was neutered timely. I wonder if a heated bed could help him feel more comforted when he sleeps? Or give him a plush stuffed animal in his bed? I have a small cat plush that my cats sometimes haul out and give hell.

 

[Margot Lane]

I agree w the plush toy idea. I mean when you think about it, Rory has been through a lot of changes previous to you. Hopefully the longer he lives with you, the more he will know this is his forever home.

 

[Alldara]

What about one of those heartbeat cat toys?

Or bringing him with you when you go to see your mum's room? Does he like being carried?

Is he full humping or doing a walking motion when he's on the other cat. Also could be his aggressive way of playing if he's not humping... I've got 3 boys and they scruff each other each a few times a week though it's more balanced.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. If I understand the timing, Rory had dental surgery not too long before Maisie became a part of your home. His behavior change could have had more to do with his dental surgery and recovery than with the arrival of Maisie. You said it was extensive, so it might have taken quite a while for him to get back to his usual self. Was he on any meds for some time after surgery?

All said, Rory's life before you probably did affect/shape his personality, and no matter how much time passes some aspects will not likely change over the course of his entire life. It sounds like he could be considered as highly anxious. He could, as noted above, have some level of a neurological issue going on too. A 'misfire' so to speak that is the cause of his behavior. While that can be random, it could also be triggered by certain things, as you seem to have indicated could be the case. Of course, all of his behavior could be anxiety related just as easily, and caused by those same triggers.

It probably would be a good idea to pursue with the vet some calming med options to try and see if they can help. I am not necessarily and advocate of some of the drugs used to do this, but sometimes it is worth it to pursue testing them if they can give Rory (and all of you) a better quality of life.