- Joined
- Nov 1, 2015
- Messages
- 247
- Purraise
- 92
I'm not sure what happened, but my grey/black tabby Cobalt doesn't want to play with his orange cream brother Rigby anymore. They are 5 & 6 yrs old respectively and this issue started about a two or three months ago.
Whenever Rigby tries to play with him he "growls" (yelps), pushes him away, and hisses.. The growl yelps are typically in response to a body slam.
It makes me very sad.
There are two things I suspect could be contributing to it, but would like additional thoughts on it.
As an additional note, whenever Cobalt has tried to play solo or with me or my husband, Rigby sometimes butts in and tackles Cobalt. This offends Cobalt. I'm not sure what that is about, but thought that info might be helpful.
On top of that Cobalt is more of a "chase me" type of cat in regards to us as his human parents. He doesn't like toys a whole lot, solo or with us. He prefers being chased around the house and then played with in his cat tree. Sometimes I think we don't give him enough attention but he's also been very very much of a pest the last couple months with non-stop meowing at my husband for play time. So much so it's become a problem to where we are actually trying to purposefully ignore him after we've given him adequate attention (I've always advocated to not ignore him but I think this has created a bit of a monster in him.)
They have no other issues with each other. No food jealousy or fighting. They sleep with one another and bathe each other. There is zero concern over one of them accidentally getting mad at the other just by passing by or being near the other when one is doing an activity. This is very specific to play initiation. It's not fair to either of them, but especially Rigby who really would like someone to play with. I've asked my husband to please consider the idea of getting an additional cat but he has allergies to cats and he doesn't think he could handle a third one.
If anyone can give some insight and/or suggestions on how to resolve this, it would be greatly appreciated.
Whenever Rigby tries to play with him he "growls" (yelps), pushes him away, and hisses.. The growl yelps are typically in response to a body slam.
It makes me very sad.
There are two things I suspect could be contributing to it, but would like additional thoughts on it.
- Rigby is very bulky, especially compared to Cobalt who is very lean. I partly suspect that it might be painful for him to be tackled by his brother because he is just too heavy. Especially considering the growl type sound he does are more of a yelping type noise that only ever happen when he is body slammed. (It's not a growl of "stay away." It's more a growl of pain.) The stopping of play seems to have happened not too long after Rigby gained some weight back, too. (We had them on a diet so Rigby could lose some weight, but Cobalt began losing weight too, which I felt was worse than having a slightly bulky cat. Rigs is like 12lbs and Cobalt is 10.)
- They both have bullied each other at times. Rigby leaves Cobalt alone about half of the time when he hisses. I sometimes break them up. There's nothing bloody or horrific about it, just a grumpy butt of a cat and a brother antagonizing him. But Cobalt has been meaner to Rigby at times, with jumping on his back and biting the back of his neck to where Rigby has cried. (I'm not sure why that is and if anyone has any insight into that, I would be delighted to hear it.) Initially, I responded to this by yelling at him. I then switched to calmly talking to them and coming in and picking up the cat that got bullied (be it Rigby or Cobalt) and giving them attention and ignoring the bully (as I read this was a better method). This happened a few times before Cobalt began stopping playing with him. I'm slightly concerned that my yelling at him made him think he wasn't allowed to play with Rigby anymore or created a negative association with play? But find it odd that when I switch to just giving attention to Rigby, it was shortly after that that all play stopped - so that kind of puts a damper on that theory. (But Cobalt gets attention and loves too and Rigby gets ignored if it was Cobalt that got hurt.)
As an additional note, whenever Cobalt has tried to play solo or with me or my husband, Rigby sometimes butts in and tackles Cobalt. This offends Cobalt. I'm not sure what that is about, but thought that info might be helpful.
On top of that Cobalt is more of a "chase me" type of cat in regards to us as his human parents. He doesn't like toys a whole lot, solo or with us. He prefers being chased around the house and then played with in his cat tree. Sometimes I think we don't give him enough attention but he's also been very very much of a pest the last couple months with non-stop meowing at my husband for play time. So much so it's become a problem to where we are actually trying to purposefully ignore him after we've given him adequate attention (I've always advocated to not ignore him but I think this has created a bit of a monster in him.)
They have no other issues with each other. No food jealousy or fighting. They sleep with one another and bathe each other. There is zero concern over one of them accidentally getting mad at the other just by passing by or being near the other when one is doing an activity. This is very specific to play initiation. It's not fair to either of them, but especially Rigby who really would like someone to play with. I've asked my husband to please consider the idea of getting an additional cat but he has allergies to cats and he doesn't think he could handle a third one.
If anyone can give some insight and/or suggestions on how to resolve this, it would be greatly appreciated.