Cat doesn't want to play with his brother anymore

[jahzara]

I'm not sure what happened, but my grey/black tabby Cobalt doesn't want to play with his orange cream brother Rigby anymore. They are 5 & 6 yrs old respectively and this issue started about a two or three months ago.

Whenever Rigby tries to play with him he "growls" (yelps), pushes him away, and hisses.. The growl yelps are typically in response to a body slam.

It makes me very sad.

There are two things I suspect could be contributing to it, but would like additional thoughts on it.

1. Rigby is very bulky, especially compared to Cobalt who is very lean. I partly suspect that it might be painful for him to be tackled by his brother because he is just too heavy. Especially considering the growl type sound he does are more of a yelping type noise that only ever happen when he is body slammed. (It's not a growl of "stay away." It's more a growl of pain.) The stopping of play seems to have happened not too long after Rigby gained some weight back, too. (We had them on a diet so Rigby could lose some weight, but Cobalt began losing weight too, which I felt was worse than having a slightly bulky cat. Rigs is like 12lbs and Cobalt is 10.)
2. They both have bullied each other at times. Rigby leaves Cobalt alone about half of the time when he hisses. I sometimes break them up. There's nothing bloody or horrific about it, just a grumpy butt of a cat and a brother antagonizing him. But Cobalt has been meaner to Rigby at times, with jumping on his back and biting the back of his neck to where Rigby has cried. (I'm not sure why that is and if anyone has any insight into that, I would be delighted to hear it.) Initially, I responded to this by yelling at him. I then switched to calmly talking to them and coming in and picking up the cat that got bullied (be it Rigby or Cobalt) and giving them attention and ignoring the bully (as I read this was a better method). This happened a few times before Cobalt began stopping playing with him. I'm slightly concerned that my yelling at him made him think he wasn't allowed to play with Rigby anymore or created a negative association with play? But find it odd that when I switch to just giving attention to Rigby, it was shortly after that that all play stopped - so that kind of puts a damper on that theory. (But Cobalt gets attention and loves too and Rigby gets ignored if it was Cobalt that got hurt.)

So those are the only two things I can think of that initiated the behavior changes - weight differences and my reactions to their bullying.

As an additional note, whenever Cobalt has tried to play solo or with me or my husband, Rigby sometimes butts in and tackles Cobalt. This offends Cobalt. I'm not sure what that is about, but thought that info might be helpful.

On top of that Cobalt is more of a "chase me" type of cat in regards to us as his human parents. He doesn't like toys a whole lot, solo or with us. He prefers being chased around the house and then played with in his cat tree. Sometimes I think we don't give him enough attention but he's also been very very much of a pest the last couple months with non-stop meowing at my husband for play time. So much so it's become a problem to where we are actually trying to purposefully ignore him after we've given him adequate attention (I've always advocated to not ignore him but I think this has created a bit of a monster in him.)

They have no other issues with each other. No food jealousy or fighting. They sleep with one another and bathe each other. There is zero concern over one of them accidentally getting mad at the other just by passing by or being near the other when one is doing an activity. This is very specific to play initiation. It's not fair to either of them, but especially Rigby who really would like someone to play with. I've asked my husband to please consider the idea of getting an additional cat but he has allergies to cats and he doesn't think he could handle a third one.

If anyone can give some insight and/or suggestions on how to resolve this, it would be greatly appreciated.

 

[ArtNJ]

When you figure it out, maybe you can help me. My 16 y.o. human boy and 19 y.o. human girl haven't played together in like a decade.

Ok, ok, I'm being silly . . . but at the same time, my honest answer is in there. Cats get older. They play less. Sometimes they stop playing with the humans, and sometimes they stop playing with each other. A "very bulky" cat is, on average, going to play less to begin with. And yes, size differences don't help much either, and its not uncommon for smaller cats to seek to avoid playing with a much larger one, at least to some degree. So I'm not sure this is any great mystery, or something you can fix.

All of that said, you can try drugging them. Catnip is thought to be harmless as long as you don't go too crazy with it, and it might inspire play.

 

[rubysmama]

I'm guessing it might have something to do with them just getting older. Per Stages of a Cat’s Life, ages 3 to 6 is a cat's "prime age", and from "7-10 years of age, your cat begins to lose their drive to play and is less active". Yours aren't up to 7 years yet, but every cat probably doesn't follow the exact same aging schedule.

 

[susanm9006]

Human involvement in cat play generally doesn’t help the relationship much, so if they do start to play together again I wouldnt get involved unless it looks like someone might get seriously hurt. But since they sleep together and bathe one another, they are good friends even if the wild play has ended. It very well may be that they are just less playful as they have gotten older. I would make sure that have tons of different solo play toys, like mice, cat springs, catnip toys and balls of all kinds. They also might like a cardboard box to chew on and chase each other thru or a few sheets of tissue paper to tear apart.

And if you live in a location where the weather is currently and has been hot that might also be the cause of less play.

 

[jahzara]

Human involvement in cat play generally doesn’t help the relationship much, so if they do start to play together again I wouldnt get involved unless it looks like someone might get seriously hurt. But since they sleep together and bathe one another, they are good friends even if the wild play has ended. It very well may be that they are just less playful as they have gotten older. I would make sure that have tons of different solo play toys, like mice, cat springs, catnip toys and balls of all kinds. They also might like a cardboard box to chew on and chase each other thru or a few sheets of tissue paper to tear apart.

And if you live in a location where the weather is currently and has been hot that might also be the cause of less play.

Do you think I should leave them be even if he yelps and hisses?

Thanks to everyone who replied! Will take the age thing into consideration.

It's actually the heavier, slightly older (by 4.5 mos) cat that is more wanting to play oddly enough.

Also, it's not that Cobalt doesn't want to play; he wants us to play with him all the time.
It's that he doesn't want to play with Rigby. So considering more and more on getting an RFID tag feeder for Cobalt to help Rigby lose some weight.

 

[rubysmama]

Wonder if something happened that is causing Cobalt to have Re-directed Aggression In Cats – TheCatSite Articles towards Rigby.

 

[Cat McCannon]

Cobalt may have a medical issue where he experiences pain when tackled by Rigby. Get Cobalt checked out by a vet to see if there isn’t an early onset of arthritis or other issue.

 

[jahzara]

Human involvement in cat play generally doesn’t help the relationship much, so if they do start to play together again I wouldnt get involved unless it looks like someone might get seriously hurt.

I left them be earlier today when Cobalt yelped and then growled at him. His growls are always in response to being tackled.
I stayed silent and Rigby backed off after 3 attempts. So going to continue trying that.

Wonder if something happened that is causing Cobalt to have Re-directed Aggression In Cats – TheCatSite Articles towards Rigby.

Nooo that's way different than what is happening with them! I'll try to take video of it when it happens next. Both cats are super chill. And Cobalt is typically chillin or sleeping when Rigby tries to play with him.

That's good to know about the redirected anger though - explains a couple of random incidents we've had with them that confused me. Now I know that Cobalt has had that redirected anger happen a couple times before. Once when he got out the front door when I didn't know. He was downstairs in front of the neighbors door, freaking out, for 20 minutes until we realized he'd snuck past me as I closed the door. When we brought him back in, he was growling at Rigby. He needed the entire night in our bedroom to calm back down.

Another time when he smelled something on the floor and freaked out over it. He must have thought another cat got in the house. (Which is actually super weird, cause we've fostered before and he never got mad at Rigby when he would smell them under the door. But those were kittens, so.) But he growled at Rigby every time he tried to come near. And then like a couple other short times when a mouse crossed in front of the back door. Rigby bumped into him trying to get at the mouse and he growled at him (only cat I know that doesn't like mice..) he recovered quickly from those.

Cobalt may have a medical issue where he experiences pain when tackled by Rigby. Get Cobalt checked out by a vet to see if there isn’t an early onset of arthritis or other issue.

Maybe, but he's super nimble and sleek. Like he just flies up onto window sills. lol But I will keep that in mind for if my plan doesn't turn out as I'd hoped.

 

[jahzara]

Thank you to everyone who replied.

I picked up Rigby today - he's like lead. Cobalt is like a feather. Top of the list of culprits in this equation is Ribgy's weight.

I bought an RFID tag feeder, the Sure Feeder. Programmed it to Cobalt now so Rigs can't get to his food and will hopefully lose some weight. Not looking forward to the constant begging from Rigby, but hoping that when Rigby losses some weight, it will help with their play time.