Cat Bully!

Michelle919

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Hello everyone. Looking for advice:(
I have an almost 3 yo male and have recently adopted a 4mo female. I did the slow introduction, kept them separated for almost a week and they seem fine 75% of the time. They will eat together and sit together at the window, but my male often chases her and pins her down and bites her. He will even do this when she is sleeping! I cant imagine it is a hard bite because she always comes back for more. There is never any hissing or growling or anything that makes them look aggressive. For example, he will be laying on the floor and she will walk by him to try and rub on him and he will start chasing her then if he gets to her, she will flip onto her back and be submissive and he will take small bites or nips at her then she will meow and run away and then come back. He just seems to be a bully. Its starting to stress me out because I don't know what to do as these are my first cats and I'm lost.

Its been about 3 weeks since intro, and they are both fixed
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi. It sounds like things are not that bad. The big key to me saying that is that she always 'comes back'. If she would start running away and hiding, or if there were fur being pulled out or blood being drawn, then you have a problem. I suspect there is a fair amount of size difference at this point still, so just be sure that if the interaction goes on too long before she runs away that you intervene.

Until she gets bigger, I probably would not leave the two alone unsupervised.
 
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Michelle919

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Hi. It sounds like things are not that bad. The big key to me saying that is that she always 'comes back'. If she would start running away and hiding, or if there were fur being pulled out or blood being drawn, then you have a problem. I suspect there is a fair amount of size difference at this point still, so just be sure that if the interaction goes on too long before she runs away that you intervene.

Until she gets bigger, I probably would not leave the two alone unsupervised.
Hello and thank you!

She definitely runs and hides into their play tunnel but then comes right back out, even pounces on him! Yes there is a huge size difference... she is a tiny 4 lb peanut and he is my 15lb beautiful bully!!! lol
 

Alldara

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It's normal for a male cat to be a bit rough with younger cats. They generally need supervision a bit more than a female with a younger cat.

You shouldnt interrupt play too much, but I would consider gently stopping him from biting while she's asleep.

It sounds like they are playing to me.



 

ArtNJ

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I like to say that you can trust your kitten's judgment, and let the kitten be your guide. Your kitten says this is not a problem.

What is going on is exactly what happens with human children. One minute your 4 year old is screaming for mom bc big bro giving him a head noogie, and 2 minutes later he is desperate to play with big bro again. Its all normal and fine. Ok, sure, in an ideal world the older cat would be playing more gently, just like the human big bro wouldn't give head noogies. But with human kids, you can at least try behavior modification. With cats, there isn't really a way to teach gentler play. But its almost always on the level of a head noogie, no matter what it looks like, so not something you actually need to worry about.
 
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