Cat and kitten together for 2 months. Still not sure if they’re getting along or not?

Kayseymac

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My cats have been living together for two months now- 4 year old neutered boy (Rufus) and 5 month old not spayed girl kitten (Honey). She is getting spayed in February. They get along 80% of the time. Sometimes they groom each other and sometimes they sleep within a few inches of each other.

Rufus is just so aggressive sometimes. They have always tussled and Honey could usually keep up with Rufus but now almost every time he tries to play she runs and hides. I’m not sure if he is hurting her or what.

Honey has 3 different places she can go to get away. She hisses and will sometimes low growl at him. When she hides Rufus will meow over and over like he’s sad he’s hiding. I used to not separate them when they fought/ play fought but now since she’s hiding a lot and growling more I usually push Rufus off her. What do you think? Is there anything else I should do?

Just want to add honey usually comes out of her hiding spot within a couple minutes and will run to another spot while Rufus chases her. She will come out of hiding when he looses interest- usually after about 5 minutes or so later. She does not ever hide or seem scared of Rufus except when he’s in play mode.
 

ArtNJ

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It seems like he had decided she is old enough that he can play rougher. He might now be playing more like a typical 1 to 1 1/2 year old cat with a kitten. We see this a lot. As long as the kitten comes out in a few minutes and acts like nothing happened, its fine to let them be. If the kitten starts hiding all the time or reacting to the mere prescence of the big cat, then intervening a bit more might be helpful. But you can't always be there, and for the most part they need to work it out themselves, which is ok. The kitten won't be injured, just some discomfort, and quite often the kittens even still play, even initiating play, sometimes. It seems like they generally still get a net benefit during this phase. Its mostly like 4 and 6 yr old human brothers -- the 6 year old might be over the top at times, the 4 year old might scream for mom, but the 4 year old still desperately wants to be with big brother most of the time and gets a net benefit. Regardless, things will improve in time.
 

susanm9006

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Cats that groom one another and sleep by each other are friends. Regardless of how much wrestling Is done or complaints about roughness that are made they are okay with one another.
 

FeebysOwner

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The only thing I can think to add to what the above members have already offered is that some of the aggression by Rufus might be due to Honey not yet being spayed. She could be emitting hormones that Rufus - even neutered - can sense. So, some of this rough play might reduce once she is spayed. It will help too as she grows into an adult cat, I suspect she is still rather small compared to him.
 

cat nap

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Definitely agree with FeebysOwner,...that Rufus is probably getting more riled up with the pheromones...that Honey is giving off.
It will take some time for that to change, after Honey is spayed.

Why not 'harness train' Rufus...so that at times, you can be in the same room with him and Honey...and 'slow him down'...a bit...to build up Honey's Confidence.

See this thread...starting on post #28...to get the idea: Newly introduced cats: attack or rough play incident?
Just watch the videos...from that post on, (since the rest of the thread..is not really like your cats...different sizes and ages, and such.)

Could you post some photos of Rufus, and Honey,...just to see the size differences? :)
 

imaginewizard

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Yep echoing the above but good rule of thumb is if the kitten bounces back to normal and doesn't act fearful as soon as she is let go, it's all good. Had (am having) the exact same thing with my cats, I'm just a month ahead (Lillie is six months and recently spayed, and also the other difference is River is older by a few years), and it's perfectly fine. As Lillie and Honey get older they'll be able to pay their older catmates back for all the grief they were given (Lillie is already doing that, she is pouncing on and bopping River when she gets a chance).

Sometimes River pins down Lillie too much and she cries out - but it's clear she's not being hurt, just scruffed. You'd be able to tell if your older cat was hurting Honey. Sometimes I don't intervene as a lot of the time River is just establishing hierarchy (which he needs to do feel confident in his home which until six months ago he was the only cat) and teaching Lillie boundaries (as she sometimes is a bit too much for him), but sometimes I will if I think he's being unfair. But like I say, Lillie immediately is okay, happy, tail up, so she's not being hurt. She's just whinging about being pinned down.
 
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