Cat Always Chooses Roommates Over Me

Kvla

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My cat has some past trauma with me, regarding her nail trims/caps and aggression issues. It's a long history and can be seen by simply scrolling through my old posts. I'm a college student, so I've always had roommates while living in college. It's cheaper this way, but because of my cat I've been wanting to get my own place despite that being the bad choice financially.

My cat always chooses my roommates over me, and it makes me feel sad. I know that they're newer and do things a certain way that attracts the attention of my cat more, but it still hurts. We've had trouble bonding with either other these past 2 years, and still find that there has only been a small amount of improvement. What can I do to win her over?
I try to give her space, pet her only in spots that I know she likes. I am the only one that feeds her and I try to play with her 1-on-1 at least 30min-hour a day but sometimes she just isn't interested in me. My room is also cold, but I don't know how to make it warmer and more inviting for her to come lay in my bed instead of theirs. ):

Sorry I'm rambling, I just sometimes think that I do everything possible for her and yet she still would choose someone else. I feel like I'm just a dog person, because I have a hard time reading her cat signals, and knowing how to react. People tell me not to scold with a firm NO, and some people tell me to do that. My friends say the squirt bottle is magic, but others tell me not to use it. I've sought help from a behaviorist and spent a lot of money for it, yet only see minimal results.

Should I rehome her?? I would be sad and feel bad for her because I'm all she's known, but we do have trauma (stated by behaviorist) and she might be happier with someone else. But I don't know, and would feel weird rehoming her after 2 years. I also am a strong believer in pets are for life, which also makes this difficult.
 

neely

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I'm sorry you are having this problem with your cat warming up to you. Since you mentioned previous posts related to your cat having past trauma with you perhaps you could include some links for us to read so that we don't have to do a search.

I'm guessing your roommates accept your cat for who she is and don't try to scold or spray her as you stated you did above. Do not believe anyone who tells you using a spray bottle to squirt a cat is magic. Please refer to this Article:
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat [Or otherwise punish them] – TheCatSite Articles

Being a dog person doesn't necessarily mean you can't read your cat's signals albeit they are two different species. We have had both cats and dogs and recognize their diverse behaviors. Have you ever lived with a cat before? Did you adopt her? If so, she may have been mistreated by a previous owner and it takes time and patience to gain her trust. Just like dogs, every cat is different and has an unique personality. This Article which discusses 23 signs that shows your cat loves you may be helpful and give you some reassurance:
23 Signs That Your Cat Loves You – TheCatSite Articles

I know you mentioned playing with your cat so I thought this Article might have some additional tips and advice for you:
Playing With Your Cat: 10 Things You Need To Know – TheCatSite Articles

If you have spent two years together then it may be more difficult for her to acclimate to a new home. I would suggest giving her time and be patient first. Remember, she will not act like your dog and you should not have the same expectations or use the same techniques that you would with your dog. I think you have chosen her because deep down you love her and I'm hoping things will work out for the two of you to become best friends. :catlove:
 

Mamanyt1953

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AH...the cold bedroom. An electric blanket will work wonders for that. And cats are great respecters of "warms." Or a heated cat bed on your own bed. Although the electric blanket will be better for close contact. Failing that, a heating pad that stay on, wrapped in a towel, tucked in the bed.

I am familiar with stand-offish cats, and the sorrow that goes along with that. Hekitty wasn't a very loving cat at all until she was around eight years old. At that point, she decided that laps are a good thing, and mine is excellently padded. Don't give up. neely neely gave you some excellent advice!
 
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Kvla

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Link to old post: Time for a cat behaviorist...

I usually follow all of the tips about acting like prey and skidding around fake objects like they’re rocks or moutains, I also try to get her engaged on my bed too for added “elements” like height and “around the corner” play. She just will stare at it and then blankly look away and not even be interested.
It’s also hard for me to love on her throughout the day because she bites me and my roommates, so none of my roommates really like her. However, the one roommate who she is drawn to and I find my cat in her bed a lot has her own cat. And her cat, Winnie, is vocal, loves to cuddle, purrs, does tricks, and everyone in the household loves. Ophelia won’t even acknowledge me in front of them and it’s embarrassing and makes me not want to love on her in front of everyone.
 
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