Cat advice

Ajt324

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 14, 2024
Messages
9
Purraise
1
I have an escalating problem with two very sweet cats that visit me every day. The female cat has been coming to visit me every day for about 5 years now. I do feed her and spend quality time with her. She’s extremely sweet! She is very dear to me as she started to come around at a very dark time in my life when a loved one was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She cheered us up on a dark day. The male cat lives behind me and has recently started hanging out in my yard all day. He is extremely sweet too. He is very big too. I think he comes over looking for food as he probably ate some of the food I’ve accidentally left out for the female cat. Both cats have homes. Now both cats are fighting for territory and it’s escalating quickly. I will go outside to try to de-escalate the situation and try to get the female cat to follow me to safety. It’s not in my heart to be mean to the male cat but I am afraid it will get to the point of serious trouble one day when they meet up again.
What can I do?? Please give me some advice.
Thanks in advance
 

silent meowlook

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
4,069
Purraise
7,759
Oh, that is tough, with neither one being your cat. Do you know if either cat has been spayed or neutered? There isn’t much you can do to deter the one cat and not the other. Unfortunately, being outside there are far more dangerous things than other cats to cats.
 

FeebysOwner

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Jun 13, 2018
Messages
23,258
Purraise
35,231
Location
Central FL (Born in OH)
Hi and welcome to TCS! Can you talk to the neighbor who owns the male cat and ask if something has changed, given that I take it this a recent change with hm coming over to your house?

You can also consider setting two dishes out - one for each, but in separate locations. If there is a dish for the male cat nearby where he enters your yard, maybe he will take advantage of that and leave the female's dish alone.

Just carious - why have you never reached out to the female's owners to see what is going on there?
 

Caspers Human

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 23, 2016
Messages
2,927
Purraise
5,218
Location
Pennsylvania
It’s not in my heart to be mean to the male cat but I am afraid it will get to the point of serious trouble one day when they meet up again.
You can scare the undesired cat away and that wouldn't be considered mean because he already has a home. You are just encouraging him to go home and discouraging him from coming into your yard. If two cats are fighting, this will serve to prevent fights and potential injuries. That's not being mean. It's actually looking out for both cats' welfare.

Just yell, growl at the cat, wave your arms, stomp your feet and make monster noises. Bang some old pots together. You can even throw water at the unwanted cat if it doesn't immediately go away. Most cats learn, pretty quickly, where they aren't wanted.

None of this is considered mean. You're not hurting the cat. You're just scaring it away. That's not mean. In fact, you're probably helping the cat by keeping him out of harms way if he gets into a fight.

Call it "Tough Love" if you want to. ;)
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

Ajt324

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 14, 2024
Messages
9
Purraise
1
Hi and welcome to TCS! Can you talk to the neighbor who owns the male cat and ask if something has changed, given that I take it this a recent change with hm coming over to your house?

You can also consider setting two dishes out - one for each, but in separate locations. If there is a dish for the male cat nearby where he enters your yard, maybe he will take advantage of that and leave the female's dish alone.

Just carious - why have you never reached out to the female's owners to see what is going on there?
Thanks for your advice. I’ve tried to communicate with the males cat owner but they do not speak English very well. The female cat owner is someone I speak with daily. She has a main home with 3 other cats but she has lived with others during her 14 years. Sometimes he will come by to take her home for the day and then she will come back outside. Currently she is usually staying with the guys across from me. Her travels are very far and wide. The male cat seems to come to my house only. I think he has eaten her food before that was left out for her and I was completely unaware of that. Now he expects it from me. I’ve tried to block off his entrances but he is rather clumsy jumping fences and I’m afraid if I block his entrance and exit and perhaps a fox gets in then the male could get hurt. He will get in my yard regardless of my efforts to block him. He is very persistent. I see his owners leave him out for most of the day and into the evening. He craves attention and affection but he is very aggressive towards the very sweet female cat that has been coming here for years.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7

Ajt324

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 14, 2024
Messages
9
Purraise
1
You can scare the undesired cat away and that wouldn't be considered mean because he already has a home. You are just encouraging him to go home and discouraging him from coming into your yard. If two cats are fighting, this will serve to prevent fights and potential injuries. That's not being mean. It's actually looking out for both cats' welfare.

Just yell, growl at the cat, wave your arms, stomp your feet and make monster noises. Bang some old pots together. You can even throw water at the unwanted cat if it doesn't immediately go away. Most cats learn, pretty quickly, where they aren't wanted.

None of this is considered mean. You're not hurting the cat. You're just scaring it away. That's not mean. In fact, you're probably helping the cat by keeping him out of harms way if he gets into a fight.

Call it "Tough Love" if you want to. ;)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I’ve tried blocking his entrance and exits but he will very awkwardly jump the fence. His balance and grace are not very cat like. His owners do not speak English very well so it’s hard to communicate with them. He is in my yard from most of the day and evening. He craves attention and affection and seems to be very hungry as he noses through my trash cans.
My concern is for both of their safety. I had to break up an altercation again yesterday. The female will come to me for protection. It’s very frustrating but I guess I’m thinking as a people and not a cat.
 

FeebysOwner

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Jun 13, 2018
Messages
23,258
Purraise
35,231
Location
Central FL (Born in OH)
If you haven't already, at least let the female cat's owner know what is going on. If you know the language that male cat's owner speaks you could install and translator app on your phone so they know what is happening too. Besides getting one of them to take action, there is not much you can do. It is pretty likely that the female will stop coming to your place, once she has had too many altercations with the male. Then, once that happens you can stop putting food out and the male cat will likely stop coming over as well.

I know you meant well by feeding the female cat and it was going OK for all this time, but all it takes is another cat to realize where they can go to get food and things can change as they just did for you. When you know that a cat belongs to another person, it is best to not ever feed them at all. It can - and did - get you drawn into a situation that you have no control over.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #9

Ajt324

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 14, 2024
Messages
9
Purraise
1
Oh, that is tough, with neither one being your cat. Do you know if either cat has been spayed or neutered? There isn’t much you can do to deter the one cat and not the other. Unfortunately, being outside there are far more dangerous things than other cats to cats.
Yes, both cats are fixed and both have homes. I just feel for the sweet nature of the female 6yrs ago and the male cat is a new “addition” but was not invited 😹
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12

Ajt324

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 14, 2024
Messages
9
Purraise
1
Nor does he care.

Anyone that you associate with in your neighborhood that can speak the same language as the male cat's owner? This person really needs to be aware as much as the female's cat owner does.
I am trying to reach out to the neighbor next to them. Thanks for your help and support
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #13

Ajt324

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 14, 2024
Messages
9
Purraise
1
Nor does he care.

Anyone that you associate with in your neighborhood that can speak the same language as the male cat's owner? This person really needs to be aware as much as the female's cat owner does.
I’m trying to reach out to the neighbor next to them. I know one of them spoke English because I heard him. I’ve tried to talk to him but he seemed like he didn’t understand me or was pretending not to understand.
 

VAMama

Cosette's maid
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 8, 2024
Messages
218
Purraise
1,032
Sounds like the female has other resources for extra food. I'd stop putting food out completely. Even if the neighbors try to reign them in, cats gonna cat, especially if the cats are accustomed to roaming.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #16

Ajt324

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
May 14, 2024
Messages
9
Purraise
1
Sounds like the female has other resources for extra food. I'd stop putting food out completely. Even if the neighbors try to reign them in, cats gonna cat, especially if the cats are accustomed to roaming.
Thanks for your reply. Yes, the female has lots of resources. I enjoy seeing her as she is very sweet and loving. As we know, cats play us 😹
I will be changing things up from here on in
 
Top