Cat acting differently.

[jamieblah]

Hi everyone, I could really use some advice!

I've had my cat Murray for a little over two years now and for most of that time he was the only cat in the house. He was the sweetest cat ever right from the start, he followed me around everywhere, would be right on top of me every time I'd sit down and slept right next to me every single night without fail....

About 3 months ago I brought home Calypso, a female kitten who, at the time I brought her home, was about 8 weeks old. After the first 3 days of awkwardness between them they became friends and now very much love each other but now Murray acts differently towards me. Not aggressive in any way or anything, just way more stand off-ish. He rarely snuggles by me anymore, doesn't allow me to pet him as long as he used to (he used to beg for it!) and he's only really slept by me like he used to about 3 times in the last 3 months.

I thought at first maybe it was just jealousy (but I thought he'd try and be by me more if it was, not to stay away from me) and I was hoping it'd pass by now but he's still acting strange. Is this common? Will I ever get my sweet boy back?

Thanks for any help/advice in advance!!

 

[mom of 4]

Murray should get the first attention from you all the time. No matter how cute the kitten is, Murray is first.
Zoey became a little stand-offish when we got the girls, even though she loved them from the moment they arrived. It's taken months for them to sort out their routine, but Talley cuddles before bedtime and Zoey sleeps with us.

 

[jamieblah]

Yeah, I usually try to do everything with him first-- he gets fed first, I greet him first when I come home, if they're in the same spot I pet him first, but sometimes he just doesn't seem like he wants to be paid attention to.

And it's hard cause if I do get him to stay by me for a period of time or I call for him or anything like that then Callie automatically, once she sees it or hears me call for him she has to be in the middle of it too, she's gotta be there. And then once she is Murray gets up and moves. Hah.

It's like he loves her but he doesn't want to be around her when I'm involved. But when he could have me to himself he doesn't come by me.

 

[larke]

Well, sometimes that's the 'breaks' when there's another cat around... after all, would you relate mostly to your cat if there was another person around?

 

[cc12]

My cats became more standoffish once I introduced more cats into the household. Mary always gets her nose out of joint for awhile. Then she comes back to me. She is not as needy as she was when she was only cat and I think that is a good thing. She has playmates and cuddlemates.
I have also noticed that during the summer months she wants more alone time. I think it is the heat. She doesn't sit on my lap as much or sleep with me as much.

 

[robertm]

Originally Posted by Larke

Well, sometimes that's the 'breaks' when there's another cat around... after all, would you relate mostly to your cat if there was another person around?

That's exactly what I thought as I read your post.

For most of two years, you were Murray's world --- the only live creature with whom he could interact.

Now he has another of his species to spend time with. Calypso is fulfilling some of his needs for which he used to rely on you (well....to the extent possible). Now he doesn't quite "need" you as much as he did when circumstances were different.

I really wouldn't worry about it. There's a good chance that in time he might revert back to his previous behavior to some degree. Calypso has only been in the picture for 3 months so maybe her presence is still a little bit of a novelty in his mind.

 

[aswient]

Mine did that, I had a sister and brother first and we were all very close for 6 years before I brought in 2 feral kittens, brothers, my 6 year old girl stayed clear of me for a long time after that, now we're the same as we use to be before the kittens came in. It takes time.

 

[ilovestripey]

your older cat has adopted a new friend of his own kind...and now prefers her to you so what you need to do is give him lots of love and let him know that hes your baby...i DO NOT suggest separating the cats as this will upset him because he doesnt know where his friend is...sometimes cats will just team up together and just want less love and attention forever but not usually...and if any bad behavior starts they will ofetn "gang up" to defy you and/or confuse you about whos actually the culprit...approach your cat more and give him lots and lots of special stuff to let him know you want him to be with yo more...and he'll get the point