Can't Tame Feral...i Am Near Tears...need Advice

[sweetblackpaws]

This morning, there were several toys in her playpen that she had moved there. This is really good to see!

She is still eating like a bird, but that just may be her way. That might not change much.

I will let you all know when she reaches her next milestone! I hoping she lets me pet her soon.

 

[walli]

Yay! she must of liked coming out! super duper
I think they do eventually get tired of hiding, I'm noticing a tiny baby step in Walli

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Walli, that is wonderful! Yes, baby steps!

She is getting braver! Her brother came in and ate some of her food and she got in his face. No hissing, nothing like that, but she stood up and faced him - that was a first! But it was a brave move for her. He is a BIG boy, too.

Unless do you think maybe she wanted to play with him? She does seem to get along well with her brother.

 

[walli]

either way it's a good thing, she's a brave good girl!

 

[sweetblackpaws]

She is SO active this morning, she has the zoomies, lol! She ate her breakfast, too. She is doing so well, this is very exciting!

I think I am ready to start leaving her Safe Room door open again at night when she is most active. What do you think? I think she may be ready to explore the apartment.

I tried it previously, but she was still in hiding mode at that time.

 

[rubysmama]

That's great! And letting her brother eat from her dish without hissing at him is a big deal.

Not sure about keeping the door open, since you'll be sleeping. But eventually she needs to have access to the whole apartment, so maybe go with your instincts, as they're usually good.

 

[walli]

What a relief! I'm sure you see everything gonna be alright!
I say let her out while your there, don't want any backwards steps with a fight. doesn't sound like your kitties want to fight tho.

 

[maggiedemi]

Oh, I'm so glad to hear how much she loves her brother. It's great that she'll have a buddy.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Just a quick update - she is doing very well! You know how she had moved from the closet to her playpen? The other day I found her ON TOP of it (which it is not meant for, but fortunately, held up)! She is getting braver!

Also, she will eat treats with my hand right there (although I can't touch her yet, she backs away when I try).

She is still quite shy, but I think these are good signs! I do wish she would venture outside of her room.

 

[KrazyForKats]

Wow! That’s great news! I think she will come out of her room on her own time. I got Charlie to let me touch him the same way. I’d keep my hand close by after giving him treats. At first, I just put my hand beside him and then slowly moved it closer until I was actually touching him, but not trying to pet him. Eventually, he let me pet his tail and I slowly worked my way up, until finally I was giving him cheek scritches and rubbing his ears and head. Now he loves to be petted, but I still can only approach him from the side, never from the head straight on. I don’t know if he just finds that more threatening or if he’d been abused at some point or what. I think you have good instincts and eventually she will let you touch her.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

KrazyForKats, that is wonderful about Charlie. How long was it until you were able to touch him without him backing away or being afraid?

She is such a gentle cat, I don't know how she survived outside for so long. She is just so sweet.

 

[maggiedemi]

Can you sneak a little pet without her clawing you? Once Demi realized I could touch him without hurting him, he was fine with it.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

She won't claw me, she will just bow her little head and quickly move away backwards. One time she "batted" my finger with her paw. I am not able to touch her at this point without scaring her. But I can get very close to the point she is practically licking my finger.

 

[KrazyForKats]

KrazyForKats, that is wonderful about Charlie. How long was it until you were able to touch him without him backing away or being afraid?

She is such a gentle cat, I don't know how she survived outside for so long. She is just so sweet.

I just went back and checked my original post to the forum and it was about a month before I could pet Charlie, but even then he flinched a little when I first touched him and on rare occasions hissed or swatted at me. It was a very slow process, and I’d take my cues from him how much or how long to pet him. He’s like your kitty, not aggressive at all. The vet estimated him at 6 - 8 years old, and I’ve also wondered how he survived that long outside. He’s totally intimidated by my other cat, Pixie, even though he’s twice her size. He still stays in my den all day, mostly under a bookcase, but he comes out and sits in a window or roams around the house some at night. I’ve had the same concerns that you do about whether I’m doing the best thing by keeping him inside, but I have seen him go from totally shut down to liking to be petted and sometimes playing with me with the cat dancer. And he loves treats! I think your kitty is making similar progress. Living outside is a rough and dangerous life for a cat. I think that’s something we have to keep in mind.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Wow, a month is pretty good! Mine has been inside for 6 weeks, and before that, I had fed her outside for nearly a year. I am ok with the idea that I may never pet her - it happens. But I do think she will come around.

 

[KrazyForKats]

Wow, a month is pretty good! Mine has been inside for 6 weeks, and before that, I had fed her outside for nearly a year. I am ok with the idea that I may never pet her - it happens. But I do think she will come around.

I should clarify that I’d been feeding Charlie outside for about 2 years before I brought him inside this past January when we had subzero temps. He spent a lot of the winter before this one on a heated pad on my screened-in porch. In all that time he never let me touch him or would even eat the food until I backed away or went in the house. Yes, I think your little sweetie will come around eventually, too.

 

[LilyRae]

I've been reading this post & so glad you managed to catch her and get her inside!

Little one, Tommy, is the most affectionate boy who loves his head scratches, when I met him he would not eat until I was inside the house. He now lives indoors & is still making so much progress. He was young when we met so that would of quickened our progress. It took us a couple months before he would let me sit near him when he ate and to play.
When he moved in he would not allow me to touch him yet but adored the company of my indoor/outdoor ex-stray Maggie, who he used to follow even when he lived outside. Getting him used to being indoors only was extremely hard for the both of us & I had a good month of sleep deprevation of him crying at the glass doors (annoyingly the whole side of my apartment is floor to ceiling glass to the courtyard he used to live before the full transition).

The method I would use is stroking him with his toy first, on his paw, then swapping it with my finger, until he would notice. It started with his paw until he allowed me to move up his arm. Eventually I could stoke his arm with him looking.

It took a while & back then I was happy with him in my life like this forever if that's all he wished.

He watched me stroke Maggie which was a huge help & I know Maggie gave him much comfort and company as he is a social boy. It seemed, he was just ready for more, out of nowhere one day, I think after a month & a half of being in the apartment.

I look at him now & am filled with appreciation of this little creature. He has been so brave. He is around 8-9 months now, we met when he was 2-3 months He will not be picked up or "hugged" & is wary of two hands being on his sides. But his progress he has made & continues to is just amazing.

Feral cats, I find usually are such social creatures with other cats &a it's lovely she has a brother around. I know she is probably older than tommy was/is so this adds time but you have both made such progress already!
Good luck and the care & patience that has shone through all your posts is just so lovely xxx

Tommy a month after we met & now

​

 

[sweetblackpaws]

What a precious, handsome boy Tommy is!! So you live in an apartment, too, where it can be extra challenging while trying to feed ferals outdoors - dogs, nosy neighbors, etc. The fact that he was yowling once inside must have been really difficult! My girl never yowled once, with the exception of the two minutes it took to transport her from outdoors to her Safe Room.

It is definitely easier with kittens, no doubt, but I still don't think it is easy for anyone trying to get their feral acclimated to the inside.

That is a great idea about trying to pet her with a toy first. I have been using treats to get my hand near her, but when I try to pet her, she skittishly backs away, clearly afraid. I will try to start touching her paw with her toy like you did with Tommy!

 

[sweetblackpaws]

KrazyforKats, thank you for saving sweet Charlie from frigid temperatures. If Charlie came around after all that time, I think my girl will, too (as far as letting me pet her). I need more patience. It is so hard to see their sweet, sweet faces and not pet them, lol!

 

[tee79]

Some of you are familiar with the feral I have been feeding for several months and trying to tame because I am moving in a few months.

I probably will have to break my lease due to the "element" that is moving in and the noise levels, etc. I wanted to bring my feral with me (I also have other housecats). She has been backsliding I assume due to the chaos in the building of late. She won't eat near me, and when I put the cat trap out to get her used to it, she won't eat until I go inside.

This is going backwards because she was eating very close to me only recently. I am not sure the reason for the setback and I am sad and frustrated and I don't have much time.

I really want to bring her inside, but I don't want to traumatize the poor little thing. I don't understand why she acts like she doesn't know me anymore.

Please, what would you all do?

She has been spayed, she has the tipped ear.