Can't get over my girl being run over

Issy86

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 17, 2019
Messages
60
Purraise
123
Hi All,
Not sure what I'm expecting anyone can say to me but I just need to let it out somewhere that I know people will understand.

I lost my cat Amber on Saturday. She had been run over by a car. My neighbour rang my door bell to let me know the bad news.

My husband tried to hold me back from seeing her but I felt I needed to just run to her in that moment. But I can't get the images of her out of my head. I wish I hadn't seen her like that but I just needed to be with her.

She is now buried in a lovely spot in our garden but I just can't get my head around the fact that she's no longer here.
I have two young children and I'm really struggling to hold it together and not cry in front of them but I think I have actually cried for a good 48 hours now.

Amber was only 2 years old. I feel so robbed of her.
And I feel like I'm to blame. I usually keep her in overnight apart from the odd occasion where she just wouldn't come in because she was having too much fun hunting/playing in the garden. And that was one of those nights. I've left her out on a couple of occasions when she wouldn't come back in and all had been fine as she's not a roamer and just liked to guard the garden.
I think on this occasion she was chased by another cat and she just got scared and bolted and went in the direction of the busy road.
She never ever used to roam, only ever stayed in our garden or next doors. She would never have naturally gone towards that road without a reason, and I feel its my fault for not staying up later and making sure she had come back in for the night.

I loved her so much, I feel so guilty and in so much pain. I just desperately need her back.

Thanks for listening xx
 

John Perram

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 21, 2020
Messages
239
Purraise
227
My condolences. The only thing that will help your loss is time. I learned at a young age when my cat friskee came home with his throat torn wide open. Since then, I have never let a cat roam.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
15,494
Purraise
20,545
Location
Nebraska, USA
We have all been where you stand, there can't be a person alive that doesn't regret something that happened in the past, and desperately want to change it. But the past is set in stone. and though we can't change it, we can learn and carry our experiences with us to form our future. That is called life.
Horrible things happen to good people. Because not one of us is perfect. Please try not to feel guilt, though at this moment this is impossible because the only thing you are guilty of was trying to make your sweet girl happy. Guilt is held by those who had intentions to do bad and now regret it. You had no such intentions. Your only intention was to love Amber.
I, too, know the agony of what happened to your Amber. My Chrissy was killed right in front of me on the street and I was powerless to stop it. The horror and agony will be with me the rest of my life. It changed my life and it took me a long time to come to a point I can go on. This came with the realization that my little girl loved life so much, lived every moment to the fullest, and in the present, as all cats do, and would NEVER want me to be so sad and live as I was doing. As I get closer to my own end, it comes with the realization that life is precious and meant to be fully engaged in. Allowing all the happiness, the wonder, the sunshine to enter, not being in perpetual winter and sadness. Letting yourself to be happy once more. Allowing love to enter your heart once again, adding on to, never replacing the love for your Amber that will always be there. As a mother with several children, we learn there can be more than one love in your life. Each one unique and precious. Your love for your Amber is a treasure to be thankful for. To have never known her sweet love would have been a greater tragic loss. The hole you have in your life at the moment will eventually be filled in with living your life. There WILL come a time when the strength of her love will help you through this. You will always have your memories and your love for her, that can never be taken from you. Not even by death. "Death cannot take that which never dies".
There is nothing truer in life than the saying - "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened ", but it takes time to get to this point and lots of it. We are here for you, we will mourn the loss of that precious girl with you. Just keep your chin up, allow life and love back into your heart, and take it day by day, just one day at a time.......RIP beautiful Amber. You will never be forgotten, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

sarah430

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Feb 13, 2017
Messages
264
Purraise
203
Location
Pacific Northwest
I’m so sorry for your loss. I too had a cat who was run over and killed at the young age of 3. Felt a lot of guilt too for letting him be an indoor/outdoor cat. But it got better with time. We try to do the best for our kitties but we can’t protect them 100% of the time. :grouphug:
 

Krienze

Officially a cat lady now. No regrets.
Super Cat
Joined
Feb 2, 2020
Messages
956
Purraise
1,722
Location
Louisiana
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I STILL feel guilty over what happened to my CiCi and Sadie, but I'm starting to understand that that's normal. You loved your baby and she loved you and because of that of COURSE you feel the way you do. Those feelings are normal and 100% valid to feel, even if it isn't your fault (which it isn't! no one can predict bad things happening!) You did your best for your girl and it sounds like she had a good life with you where she knew she was loved. I know nothing can really be said to make you feel better, but I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs.<3
 

KK300

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Jul 3, 2021
Messages
88
Purraise
159
So sorry to read about your loss.
We lost our Itsy when he was run over at less than a year old. He was a mainly indoor cat, but we let him out for a couple of hours at the weekends.
We were absolutely heartbroken, but took some comfort in the fact that his demise would have been instantaneous.
We planted a rose in his memory, and, ten years later, still think of him every time we see an rainbow.
 
Top