Can you teach a cat not to be a pain the arse to another cat

Cozzy

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So my two babies have been introduced fully now for about 5 months. Aurora is my beautiful female (spayed) who is almost 2 and Zeke beautiful male (neutered) almost 4. Both are rescued strays. For more context that might be relevant Zeke is half blind and half deaf and FIV and Aurora has an amputated tail.

The problem is Zeke has become a right PITA to Aurora. He plays ROUGH and wont stop when she is giving him signals shes had enough. She will growl at him at times to leave her alone but he doesnt seem to get it. He will keep pursuing her until she either runs to a space he is too big to get into or if she gets to the top of the cat tree (although he could get up here if he wanted but doesnt seem to). They often roll around which each other in headlocks doing bunny kicks and Aurora will always be the one to want to end it and will get away when she has the chance.

Usually Aurora is just minding her own business and Zeke decides he needs to start whacking her which then results in a jump. Sometimes she can tell when hes about to come and be a pain and seem to get ready and to be fair shes a resilient little thing and can fight back even though hes much bigger than her. She comes straight back out if she does run from him, and they eat together and sleep near each other in the same room daily, touch noses and will play with toys together. Aurora will try and groom Zeke and very occasionaly Zeke will try and groom Aurora but within about 15 seconds this turns into Zeke biting Auroras neck and back into the rough play.

Within all of this there has never been any injuires to either, theres not usually noises apart from some squeals occasionally but there is often bits of fur left around the carpet but no bald spots on either cat. Zekes tail isnt puffed up and obviously Aurora has no tail to tell! Sometimes Auroras ears will go back but not always. There is multiple other rooms Aurora could choose to go but she does still choose to spend most her time in the main room with Zeke, which makes me think she isnt scared of him

So I dont think he is generally trying to hurt her but he is being a pain and I worry it could escalate as Aurora is starting to get more watchful when he comes into the room and will get prepared for an attack. When Im around and see it getting too much I intervene with either play to distract or picking Aurora up for cuddles.

I do wonder whether Zeke could be quite territorial as he will often go for her more if she is on my bed or in my bedroom in general. He is the kinda cat that always wants to be near me but rarely gets on a lap and isnt much fond of being picked up. Whereas Aurora wants to be sat on my face constantly and carried around everywhere. Could he be jealous even though he doesnt like these things? He always gets lots of love, pets and scratches and I talk to him constantly so he knows he is loved as well. Ive had to shut both cats out my bedroom at night as the rough play at 4am was killing me. We play three times a day and he will run around like a loon after 'da bird' so I also wonder whether he has lots of energy. He has access to the outdoors but wont use a catflap (despite being trained to use it haha) and if I do let him out the door he is back within 5 mins wanting to come in.

I wonder whether he just didnt learn the manners maybe or cat etiquette when he was younger and maybe thats why he is being a pain? Aurora seems to be trying to teach him but its not working and he doesnt seem to pick up on the signals so is it possible to help him play nicer?

I should add Zeke is a sweetie cat in every other way (apart form the occasionaly love bite he gives me haha) is food OBSESSED and very bonded to me.

Also heres some photos of them just beacuse they are cute 😍. Zeke is the ginger and white and Aurora the grey.
 

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maggie101

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I have a cat like that. I clicker trained maggie to come when called. They are almost teenagers so their personality will change. They are 8 and 9 yrs old now. Maggie is no different. Peaches is queen and doesn't like to be bothered. Maggie still does this though she's not 3 months anymore
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ArtNJ

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Super common situation, although usually its the younger cat that is the PITA. Mostly it is what it is. If it was a major thing to her, she would avoid him at all times and not voluntarily play with him. So it isn't so bad now, and will get better in time.
 
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Cozzy

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Thank you for your replies. Zeke just seems to be getting worse with it though if anything not better. I hope they do settle down as Aurora would quite like to snuggle with him but it always turns into a fight with Zeke. I keep stressing I might have to rehome Aurora if it escaltes and worry about her not being happy. I love them both so much it breaks my heart to think they might not be happy. I will see how it goes with Zeke and hope he starts to settle down as he gets older. He used to be the lazy one but now hes lost a load of weight and is at his ideal weight now hes turned into a super athletic cat 😂
 
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