Can pet but not pick up or handle 8 week old feral kittens! Help!

Lisa PG

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First time fosters here. Two kittens and a Mom. Have gotten conflicting advice for the past 4 weeks. Much progress on kittens and Mom getting comfortable with us, eating out of our hands, they don't hide anymore, even napping in our laps. But touch has been SLOW. Recently, we've been petting, but nothing more. And they're SO skittish. Have watched loads of Flatbush and Kitten Lady videos. We want to wrap them up and hold them as shown - but no video shows HOW to pick them up. We've tried by the scruff but they squirm out of the way and freak each other out (we've just separated the Mom. She let us pet them, but not pick them up.) Tried again today - and total fail, Now they're freaked out like they've never seen us. We don't want to think that after all this progress we're back to square one. Looking for advice - how to pick them up and should we separate these two potentially bonded sibs. Thanks and help!
 

CatGuy1978

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First, congrats on fostering! Such an amazing thing for you to do. I have 'fostered" four kittens and I couldn't part with any of them. But, I get attached easily.

I have experience with one feral cat. He started coming around my house because I had a food bowl in the garage. At first he ran away every time I opened the door. Within a couple of days, he stayed long enough to give him some wet food. It took a couple of weeks before I could pet him, but he eventually allowed it. After a month or so, he started coming in the house. One day he came home with a leg injury, and to my surprise, he allowed me to put him in a carrier to take him to the vet. Despite that show of trust, I remained cautious about handling him. He would allow pets, and even kisses on the head, but was always a bit skittish. It's been over a year now, and I can pick him up when necessary, but he barely tolerates it. When I do hold him, I cradle him in my arms while holding him upright by his underside. I believe that he trusts me implicitly, but there are limits to handling him that seem absolute. I'm not so sure that will ever change.

As for the siblings, I will offer this. I have had two pairs of siblings in the past. They were as closely bonded as you might imagine. Unfortunately, over the course of about a year, one sibling out of each pair passed away unexpectedly. I thought they would be devastated, but each surviving sibling handled the loss well. My point is, if you can keep them as a pair, do so, but if not, they should be okay.

Hope this helps! I really admire what you are doing for your family of fur babies. You should feel good about it!
 

Kieka

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My girl was feral, at five years old I still have trouble picking her up. Of course I have time since she's not being rehomed. For me, I push her boundaries just a little until the boundaries stretch. We are now at the point I can touch her belly and pick her up just enough to get her feet off the ground for a second.

For fosters, hisses get kisses. As for how to pick up, start with petting and scoop up or just scoop up. Quickly pick up and snuggle before they know what is happening. Make sure to feed after or give a treat so the experience is rooted with positives.
 

BonbonSue

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I have raised many ferals. The one I have now is 11 yrs old, female, torte and is a true lap cat now! Recued her from another grown male feral who seemed to be hungry. She had one eye still closed, the other barely opening, no teeth, no claws, dehydrated, & about 5 inches long. My guess was she was about a week old. It was round the clock watch & feeding, didn't know if she'd survive. She did! In a week she was popping out of the box I'd placed in a bird cage, to protect her. My kids and I held her often, and Thomas, our Turkish Angora, adopted her and play with and cuddled her. He was also a gentle lap cat,lived to be just over 20 years old. I always wiped her down, brush her, and rubbed her back paws, it relaxed her into a nap, lol. She grew and literally climbed the walls, curtains, everything! Terrorized the parakeets, hide and attack anything that moved, a real problem child, lol! At 6 months old she developed pyometra. She was difficult for the vet to handle, he said she would never tame down and the surgery may kill her. He recommended putting her down. I told him I would not put her down and do the surgery or I could find a vet who would. She survived the surgery! She still hides from people, company, loud noises. She still growls when she sees dogs or people outside the widows, but she is very affectionate to us. She loves to be brushed and to her claws trimmed and to have her back feet rubbed. She, Jazmine, is precious!
 

danteshuman

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At 8 weeks; I would just pick them up2-4 at a time, & carry them around in a sweater/hoodie kangaroo pouch. contain them in a bathroom do they can’t hide. Play with them & bribe them with chicken baby food (onion & garlic free) on a spoon (⭐Maybe tape a plastic spoon to a a stick or straw to give yo more reach.) You can always lure them into your lap with a wand toy. The goal is to get them to use you as a jungle gym. Sitting & not wearing shoes, might remove the fear factor. Try reading out loud to them and talking to them all you can, every day.

Lots of slow blinking helps a lot!!!

Lots of bribes help to!
 

Dimie

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I have no expirance with feral cats but I can say even demestic cats can have issues with being carried my Norwegian forest cat hates it no matter how you do it he will not let any one pick him up, so you do not have to worry all to much even demestic cats can be skittish about it, as long as you can pet them and if they jump on your lap I would say that is all you truely need.
 

danteshuman

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The pouch method lets the babies get over their fear sooner. It works on baby kittens. The three month old minions I placed on my chest in a lazyboy and under a blanket for at least 6 hours a day. Everyone was calm though the wildest one still did the adorable huffs occasionally on day 3 but by the end of day 1 they knew I brought food or a bottle. The kittens will learn to trust you if you bring them meals (don’t free feed them.)

You need the cat to accept being picked, put down a second or two later and rewarded with treats. Just a calm lift under the chest & supporting the back feet to place him on the couch or cat tree or counter or bed. They may not live it but you just need them to tolerate it. Once your cat is used to it, just do it once a week or once a month.With Dante I lured him onto my lap with a wand toy, gave him a quick 2-5 second pet and then resumed playing with him. He was a crazy hyper little 3 month old kitten then. Dante became a total lap hog & all my cats did. Becuase I was content to be the furniture and only pet them when they wanted it. Now Cami (one of the kittens) does run hotter with her long fur. So I would crank the AC on the max & get your home down to 60 F or less & see if he gets cuddlier.

⭐I fake puuuurrrrred at the kittens and closed my eyes or did the slow blink a lot. They liked the slow blink best.
 

vyger

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Kitten personalities vary a lot. Some are just mellow and some are totally crazy. I don't remember you saying if these have been biting. While getting them tame is good and possible they also need to learn some manners. I would get a pair of soft leather gloves to help with it. To scruff them when they are wild (the adrenaline appears to override the Vulcan nerve pinch) you need to use both hands. One hand on the neck pinch and the other hand holding the back feet together so they can't claw you with them. Then gently stretch them out and try and prevent the front paws from coming into contact with anything they can latch on to. Many of them will give up after a struggle when they realize there is nothing they can do. That is when you plunk them down on the palm of your hand with their legs between your fingers and slowly let go of their neck. If you are afraid they might claw you wear gloves. You can also press them against you if they get freaked out about being up high. They may very likely try and jump down.
A lot of times for ones that are afraid of being picked up I will start with just doing things like swapping them when they are eating. Just a fast pick up and plunk down in a different spot. They are so busy eating they don't get worked up about it. I have done the same thing with older cat's. Two starting to get confrontational over a single bowl when the other bowl is vacant. Grab, plunk, problem solved. it actually can be pretty funny because as soon as they start to object to being picked up their nose gets dropped into a food dish. The reaction to that is usually, "oh, well if that's what's going on I am happy". When they get more used to being moved around you can extend the time out until they don't notice it much. In a pretty short time they are used to being picked up and moved. That is when you can add some elevation and longer time.
A kitten biting is a problem because that is not acceptable. What I have done with that is use the leather gloves and put the whole finger tip in their mouth if they want to bite. They really don't like that. It's kind of like biting off more than they can chew. If you want to emphasize it even more use the other fingers or a thumb to lift up under their chin. Now they are hooked like a fish and can't let go. They really, really don't like that. It usually only takes a couple of times before they realize it is a bad idea to try and bite. It's kind of like you trying to bite a horse, just not really going to have any effect but could get you hurt so you just don't do it.
So if you really need to pick them up for some reason use the scruff and stretch. otherwise use the move and swap until they get accustomed to being moved off their feet.
Hope this helps a little bit. And just for a little perspective the final count for new kittens for me is 23. Four moms that didn't get fixed because everything got shut down and now in just one week they all had kittens. It's going to be busy soon.
 

danteshuman

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Oh the 3 minions were a month old (not 3 months old) when they lived on my chest.

As you can see being the furniture paid off really well with brothers (black & white) who wrestled on my lap. It even worked for my hyper niece to get their ‘don’t pet me for more then a minute’ sister to sleep on her. Jackie (my white bellied lynx point I adopted) climbs all over me like a jungle gym! No respect! 😉

I made a big deal about toys not hands for the entire household and did a wailing high pitched oooowwww (then ignore for 5-15 minutes) every time I got the slightest bit of claw or fang. However by that point they were already attached to me. Kittens make high pitch meows when hurt & adult cats growl at unruly cats.

Some people recomend the burrito towel wrap- then carry method for kittens but it seems needlessly traumatizing. At 8 weeks, if you are the meal giver, you talk to them, play with them & work on socializing them they will be tame in no time. I don’t know if leather gloves will be needed. When you take them to the vet for a checkup, I would ask the vet to clip their class (so you know you don’t hurt them and so you are not the bad guy!) ⭐ You can give them a small box or a crate with a towel draped over 1/2 the entrance so they can feel like they can hide. The whole point of locking them in the bathroom is just so they can adjust sooner & so you can find them/get to them.
 

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