Can Men and Women be "Just Friends"?

ducman69

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I have always said no, and this investigative reporter sought to answer that question once and for all:



Your thoughts?
 
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rad65

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Unless you are a slave to your hormones, I say yes. Most of my close friends through my life have been female and there hasn't been any problems.
 

pami

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Unless you are a slave to your hormones, I say yes. Most of my close friends through my life have been female and there hasn't been any problems.

I agree with you and thats how I feel about it in my personal life, too, but that video definitely had a different perspective LOL Maybe it was the age they interviewed?
 
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ducman69

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Either way, 0:48 sandwich guy is my favorite, lol!  
 

mrblanche

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Either I am extremely dense, or the answer is yes.  I hear stories from other guys about the women always hitting on them, and vice versa, but it hasn't happened to me, and I've had lots of girls (earlier in life) and women (up to today) who I consider friends.

I think it's the attitude you carry with you.

The bad news (maybe) is that I probably missed some good opportunities for romance when I was younger, because it seemed like the "bad boys" always got those "good girls."  My sister today (and she's 53 years old, now) admits that I was right about a lot of the guys she dated back in high school and college, and that she missed out on the best guys because she didn't think they were "fun" at the time.  But that's another discussion.
 

speakhandsforme

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As most of my friends are male, I can indeed confirm that it is possible for men and women to be just friends. Preferable, in my case, because a lot of the time girls my age irk me.
 

aimerlee

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Absolutely. I have always gotten along better with males. In high school, I mainly hung out with a large group of guys who were my best friends, and had maybe 4 good female friends. My sophomore year of college, I chose a male roommate and we got along well. I never felt anything awkward between us and to this day he is still like a brother to me. I like that males surround themselves with less drama, and I feel like I have more in common than them. I am in no way a tomboy, but I enjoy hanging around with the guys and watching movies than going to the mall or gossiping with girls.
 

rafm

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I have no problem having male friends. And my DH has female friends. It really isn't a big deal to us. 
 

arlyn

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Some of my best friends for over 20 years have been men, better still, they have met and like my husband, and he likes them.
 

Winchester

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My best friend in the world is a male, about 10 years younger than me and he's a Pentecostal preacher. He is so conservative it's not funny and I'm a die-hard liberal. He is very religious and believes strongly in his faith. I'm an agnostic. We've been friends for well over 25 years now and I trust him with my life. There has never, ever been anything between us, other than a very deep friendship. I love the guy....I really do. That doesn't mean I want to go to bed with him. We are both happily married; he married somebody who is about 20 years older than he is and with a ready-made family. And I've been married to Rick forever!

Ironically, he always said that a man and a woman can never be good friends, that sooner or later, sex would come into play. But it's never happened.
 

orangeishcat

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Absolutely. I'm married and I have several male friends, and my husband has a couple female friends of his own. It doesn't pose a problem. 
 

mary'scalico

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Honestly, I would say no. I used to have friends of the opposite sex and I've learned they only want one thing and they'll spit as much game to get it. The only exception is perhaps an older person who has already experienced life. I don't want to be a victim or just someone's prize in the end. I chose love over friendship because that will last. My fiance and I are best friends and I couldn't ask for more than that. 
 

resqchick

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Absolutely, yes. I have MANY more male friends than female friends. I have had one or two male friends when I was a teenager that did act inappropriately, and that ruined the friendship, but as a whole, I find men easier to get along with most of the time. I have 3 or 4 close girlfriends, and we have this in common-they also have more male friends than female friends. 
 

trouts mom

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This is how I see it:

If you already had the friends before you were married or dating someone, then yes it's absolutely okay to keep them.

I don't however think it's okay to make new friends of the opposite sex after you are in a committed relationship. Sorry but I would have a problem if my DH did that and I know he would have a problem if I did. (I'm talking about the kind of friend you actually do things with, like go out for coffee, lunch..etc...)
 

evakatharina

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For me personally, I would say yes only in the case that there's explicitly no mutual physical attraction.  Such as both parties already being in committed relationships, the other person is gay, etc.

That said, with me being engaged, I would feel really weird meeting up with a hetero male friend alone for coffee, to a movie, grab lunch, go shopping, the way I do with female friends.  And I would feel uncomfortable if my boyfriend were hanging out like that one-on-one with a girl.  Whether that's good or bad I can't say, but that's how both of us feel.  I've only ever had hetersexual male friends when I've been unattached and with that dynamic there always seems to be an underlying, flirtatious tension. 

The male friends I do have are the significant others of my female friends and I certainly wouldn't ask one of my friend's boyfriends out alone to grab lunch with me.
 

jennyr

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I have always had friends of both sexes - some were ex-lovers, some became lovers, and some have remained platonic for up to 40 years. And yes, I have done all the things you do with friends of the same sex, including going on holiday. I just think you have to be careful when making new friends not to give the wrong impression, and not to endanger any current relationship (and sometimes this does happen, regardless). It is easier if there is a big age gap - younger men often like to have an older woman as a friend and confidante, and vice versa. But certainly this is not a condition of having a male friend as far as I am concerned.
 
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ducman69

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For me personally, I would say yes only in the case that there's explicitly no mutual physical attraction. 
Ah, but that was the point of the guy's little "investigative reporting", it doesn't have to be MUTUAL attraction.  

The women were usually saying, "sure we can be JUST-friends", but it was often a one-sided friendship since their male just-friends clearly wanted to be more than JUST-friends if given half an opportunity.  

 

A mutual just-friendship would require both parties to want to be just-friends, which would seem to require that there not be any physical attraction to where the woman or more often the man clearly longs for more.    Heck, personally, I don't think I could even be "just-friends" with an attractive lesbian, because she doesn't have to find me attractive for me to want to hook up with her heheheh!  Perhaps when my hormones die down in a few years it will be different, but for now I could not get sloppy drunk bar hopping with a "just-friends" girl as comfortably as I could one of the guys.
 
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